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| Boo hoo, I hate life and the world I live in! | Started by: Snorlax on Aug 07, '08 02:27 |
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Awakened from his relaxing slumber by the sounds of petty, incessant whining, Snorlax builds himself up into a grumpy rage and proceeds to tell a tale as old as time itself, of the sore loser. I had a bad day! I hate my life! Guess what happened? My dad's Boss got killed! And guess what else happened? My dad got killed in the aftermath! It's not fair! My dad totally wouldn't have sought revenge! He would never have thought to honor his oath of loyalty to the Family, and go down with the ship! Yeah! You meanies had no reason to kill him! Evil murderers! So because of this, and the actions of one or two of the [insert number ranging from four to eight] remaining families, I've decided I hate them all. You with me? I hate them because they're evil, warmongering pricks. They kill anyone who doesn't hang out in their precious little coffee-shop cliques. They kill people who may or may not be threats. Instead, they should wait for the threats to begin firing off their guns, putting their own lives in danger, before going to war. Yeah, that sounds good, don't you think? I hate them because they're nepotists. They only let their best friends join them in the sexy bold suits. Those bold suits aren't for people who earn the undying trust of their leaders, they are there for those who can kill the most hobos, bleed the 7-11 dry, and don't sleep. Regardless of whether or not they may be a threat at some point in the future. But you know what really grinds my gears? Why I really, really hate those meanie bottoms? It's a secret, but I'll tell you, random street crowd. It's because they don't let me play their game. In the "Duck, Duck, Goose" game of this world, I come from a long line of ducks. Or, worse yet, there is a Goose or two sprinkled in there, but other Gooses quacked louder, and made them look like ducks. Oh, how I wish I had rich, powerful friends to buy me 25 bodyguards because my father happened to be a casualty of war. If that was the case, maybe I could shut my mouth, hit the streets, and get to the point where I could benefit from their nepotism! Ooh, and then we can plot out our own takedowns! It'd be so fun! But in the highway of life, I'm a stalled vehicle. So I'll just sit here, in the middle of the road, making noise. Until someone shows up and tows me away. But you should hear me make that noise! I'll compare all the current leaders to CP, who everyone hated. I'll accuse them of taking down my dad's family unfairly, with little regard for what a "fair" takedown really is. And I'll bitch and I'll moan, and I'll moan and I'll bitch, because it's all I have left to do. Satisfied that he's made his point, Snorlax rolls over, crushing several whiny Civilians in the process, and falls back asleep. |
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Unsure if Snorlax is awake, I decide to converse with him anyway. "When you mentioned the Duck, Duck, Goose game, I thought you were referring to the game you were showing me in the HQ about the ugly woman, or "moose's" as you put it, but had to use rhyming slang to make it less obvious!" I take a sip of my coffee and get back to the point. "I too have met such people, not the complainers, they rock! I'm talking about the people that can only be described, as you so eloquently have done, as meanie bottoms. These meanie bottoms, or "successes", make a point of living! Offensive as it sounds, they will kill to stay alive and secure safety for their friends and family!! I know what you're thinking, bastards! Me too Snorlax, me too! "I've also noticed, when these meanie bottoms kill, they don't just kill half of the threat, NOOOOoooo, they kill the whole threat! That's right, they don't wait to to ask people if they are a threat, they just deal with it. And I can guarantee, if they did take the time out to question each and every "possible" threat, said person would undoubtedly tell the truth. Gun to head, life on the line, there is no way that they would lie, if they were planning an elaborate vengeance mission, they'd tell them for shizzle." "ZZZzzzzz.... ZZZzzzzz...." It was then I noticed Snorlax was definitely asleep, I relieved him of his cash on hand and walked off. |
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| Reply by: Rhuarc at Aug 07, '08 02:42 | |
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As I approch the sleeping snorlax and make 2 tap on the cheek. *tap, tap* dude, are you dreaming or smth? *cricket cricket* oh well... fianlly noticing he was deep in slumber, i turn and walk away... |
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| Reply by: Gokusen at Aug 07, '08 10:26 | |
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