As I polished my chromium robo-head this morning, I heard a noisy chanting outside my window.

'1 more year! 1 more year! 1 more year!'

1 more year, I asked myself? Had it been that long already?

I tried to finish my morning reading: Big teeth. Short arms. Sharp claws. BazFulton's dating profile was brief but descriptive. And like Baz, I reflected, the American Mafia too is a volatile, hairy mistress that must be charmed.

How many wars had I lived through? How many crews? How many Simon's? Too many to count. Too many to tolerate.

Why had God cursed us with Simon after useless Simon? It is a fact I struggled to reconcile myself with for many months of rumination.

As I watched the final Simon murdered with extreme urgency, I turned my robo-eyes to the future and made myself a promise: I would change the world, for the better, after just a couple more months of complete inactivity.

Today, I stand here a one year old crewleader, in a world full of little baby crewleaders. I am strong enough to support my own weight. I understand object permanence. And I still do my best to avoid small choking hazards, like medium-sized nuts.

One year from now, I could be the most powerful entity this community has ever seen.

1 more year! 1 more year! 1 more year!

They said it couldn't be done. It is my understanding that right now SoWeakWayne is strong-arming (lol) the local authorities to get the proper permits in place for a parade in TBMRPGM's honor. It's not just a year of patrolling the streets - it's a celebration of our guardian. The man who led the way through obstacle after hazard, bringing Las Vegas to what it is today.

LeVon motions for two young goombas to wheel out a freshly dressed and seasoned Telkin skewered on a spit, slathered in an aromatic marinade...

This one has been fattened up just for tonight's festivities. While others will be celebrating the year past, I will be celebrating the year future. I expect pillars to crumble. Old methods to be finely tuned. I expect a new day and age of prosperity, in the upcoming TextBasedMafiaRPGEra.

HeraldOfBricktownCL gets slightly nervous at seeing Levon's succulent looking Telkin. Truly a magnificent and extremely valuable gift worthy of the big robo-man. Was HeraldOfBricktownCL supposed to have brought a present himself as well? He had not realised this, as his invitation had told him only to bring swimming trunks and that the dresscode was "Boss Baby". He had thus shown up empty handed.

Wow Boss, though I have only seen about 1 threehundredandsixtyfifth of your long reign, I have been extremely impressed so far. My wife accidentally sat on your present (hahaha WOMEN amirite?) so you will be getting a replacement delivered on your doorstep TONIGHT.

I PROMISE PLEASE DONT HURT ME.

Right now it's only 7 days, Jimmy. Do you think there's scope for us to complain to the Big Cheese to truly extend it for a year?

As a loyal and true 10/10 RHM I would stick it out the entire time, and as I've proudly been telling the crew this morning, "I'm the Daddy now".

Of course that immediately backfired when I had to give my own money to someone instead of using RoboBlobs. In the end it's all swings and roundabouts.