Dear all,

Yesterday was supposed to be a happy day celebrating a year of TextBasedMafiaRPGMan, complete with a parade, brass band and string quartet. Instead, tragedy. Text hauled in for questioning and his organization left to slip through the buttery fingers of of a moron. Sometimes difficult choices have to be made and with TBMRPGM being locked up, and InnocentLambKofta being a nincompoop, as the most senior and respected RHM in Las Vegas, I have been appointed de facto leader of TextBasedMafiaRPGCrew during these troubled times.

Keen observers will note that I highlighted the threat posed by Arin only yesterday:

And before I forget, Arin sucks.

Sadly my warnings were not heeded and we are where we are. My first act to get Text's unruly house in order was to hoof Arin out on his dirty numbered ear and appoint a true, blue-blooded, numberless ventriloquist in his stead. Otto and George have kindly stepped up as dual LHM without prior consultation to help keep the rabble in line. People are already commending me for that quick decision-making, but I don't do it for the glory. I see a job which needs doing and sort it. Hero is a word I've heard mentioned. I wouldn't use that myself. If you thought that was appropriate though, that would be up to you.

Whilst heavily engaged in the day-to-day running of two crews, I have also decided to leave InnocentLambKofta in place to maintain some continuity for the minions in Text's employ although I should be clear that his role is effectively in-name only. He will primarily act as a stooge to do my bidding, take all negative feedback and as a lightning rod should any further incarceration be necessary.

I would ask for your patience in the short term. This is a big project and A LOT needs fixing. I will provide an update on the future and possible disbandment of the TextBasedMafiaRPGCrew in the next 6-8 weeks and, at the very least, conduct an immediate review on those 10/10 marks which were clearly awarded willy-nilly. 

Thanks for your support.

SoWeakWayne
RHM of Masters of Kung FU
De facto TextBasedMafiaDon of TextBasedMafiaRPGCrew

I couldn't have said it better myself, LovesNothing. I will have to make my warnings clearer in the future I think, perhaps with flashing neon lights and a foot to the cock for emphasis. 

I couldn't give ratings to associates in other cities but I reckon you'd be getting all 10 for sure. 

Voss the boss feels the need to voice his disappointment. Being the boss is quite literally in his name. Being overlooked for a leadership role is - arguably - the equivalent of a Shakespearean tragedy being retold in denim dungarees. With his lofty physique and only slightly offensive aroma, one might have thought Voss the boss’s lack of trivial matters like pocket space, gun prowess, status, rank, protection or indeed charisma would not rule him out for the role he was destined to ascend to but here we are, Voss the boss being metaphorically slapped in the face by his own de facto RHM - publicly no less. The shame.

Take my word for it - Voss the boss intends to lodge a sternly worded letter of complaint to the only person Voss the boss recognises in this current set up; George.

As my stewardship of this leaking ship enters its second day, I am deeply concerned about the state of the boat. Holes. Everywhere. Mt_Dew was clearly joking when he branded the most respected, powerful RHM in Las Vegas stepping in to save the day as a "coup". Ha ha ha, good one, Mt_Dew. That kind of light-hearted banter is the type of leadership you can expect from me. My door is always open. InnocentLambKofta is sitting at the desk but you're always welcome to complain to him.

Jimmy, with respect, I've got 30 people looking to me for answers. You can't even get a 5-aside team together. I think what would make this better and really help me out would be if donations were made directly to me. I think me having more money would really help make for a stronger, happier crew. Put those overalls on a little tighter please, Nico. Less letter writing and more earning me some money would be deeply appreciated. I have it on good authority that a RHM slot might be opening up in my crew soon, so you should probably do exactly what I say so that you can be considered for that. 

If anyone needs my account details, just ask. 

My wood working and jury rigging skills have been described as "top-notch", so I have no doubt that our ship is going to be fine and well.

As for this, Wayne lady? I really am unsure what she is going on about. Sounds a bit... despicable, demanding all the money. The tyrannical "do as I say". I don't know, men have been killed for less, as history has shown us. 

Jimmy, I don't think this lady is really worth arguing with. We should grab a beer, I grow weary of delusional, power hungry people. What's that old saying? "pride comes before the fall"

Ron, if I wasn't so weak that I struggle to lift my arms over my head to put a t-shirt on, I would slap you right back to Philly. Are you even aware of the expenses associated with keeping two crews afloat all whilst funding TextBasedMafiaRPGMan's legal fees? They are astronomical AND things are not going well. His defense of just picking an active member of his family to act as his LHM have not been accepted. He could be tied up in litigation for days yet, all on my dime. People have been saying that I might just be the best friend a guy could ask for given my exceptional generosity. I wouldn't say that but other people are and I haven't felt the need to correct them, so I guess you could say that is true. I've got a big heart, I can't deny it. I also can't deny that lawyers cost. Please send me some money instead of to VWP Jimmy. No amount of BGs will stop him being a loser nerd. 

Voss the boss likes the cut of this Swanson fella’s jib. Only moments through the door and he’s staging a mutiny on the Wayne coup. Voss the boss recognises leadership material when he sees it, being of that calibre himself. Should Voss the boss look out a pair of overalls to protect his good dungarees is the only question Voss the boss has about this - wouldn’t want his dress dungarees to get dirty in the event this ends up in a good old fashioned punch up.

Oct 29, 15:06:35    Ron_Swanson purchased 1 lbs of your Amphetamines for $772.
Oct 29, 15:06:30    Ron_Swanson purchased 8 lbs of your Amphetamines for $6,176.
Oct 29, 15:06:23    Ron_Swanson purchased 8 lbs of your Amphetamines for $6,176.
Oct 29, 15:06:14    Ron_Swanson purchased 8 lbs of your Amphetamines for $6,176.

Thanks for playing ball, Ron. I'll be sure to throw this $19,300 in the "Free TextBasedMafiaRPGMan" fund on your behalf. 

I do business as a man should. You offered a good, I paid for said good. I will not be donating my currency for free, especially to a cause I know nothing about. You and your Ponzi scheme can take the act on the road.

I really don't understand this Philly hate. I'm just over here being the most proactive, respected and beloved RHM turned TextBasedMafiaDon the Streets have probably ever seen and I'm catching heat for it. What gives? Don't you like people stepping up and being counted or something? Would you prefer I just left this crew to rot like their leader is in jail instead of bailing them out of a terrible InnocentLambKofta leadership fiasco? Have you not seen what an amazing job Otto is doing turning the previously forgotten Stargazers of Sin City Lounge around? This isn't about the amazing work I'm doing, but I picked him to be LHM, so my judgement is actually kind of incredible if you think about it. 

I guess all I can really do is thank God that I'm not in Philly right now. I shudder to think what the other 2 guys in that crew say about Jim. Everyone in Las Vegas are saying how selfless I am and suggesting I should be suitably compensated for the enormous legal bills and costly administrative headaches I'm picking up the tab for. I'm not saying that, I'm just repeating what I'm hearing and you might want to think about listening and giving some money. It is the least you could do really. 

You guys wouldn't believe how selfless SoWeakWayne is and I believe he should be suitably compensated for the enormous legal bills and costly administrative headaches he is picking up the tab for as a result of his multi-crew leadership.

I want to be 3IC.  Who is Crow?

Listen, I could come out here and spend all the time in the world defending Jimmy and Philly about all the great things going on out east.

I wont but I could. Philly is pretty great but it's really hard to argue some of the ratings while Jimmy walks around. I do however know that this city would fall apart if Wayne made is way over here. We already have enough disasters in our midst, much less adding one so weak.

Long live the alphabet man to keep us safe from them both.