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| Resting in Peace has become a Grave Matter | Started by: Ruby_The_Beast26 on Nov 02, '26 21:29 |
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The cemetery business was booming. Unfortunately, nobody had informed the cemetery. People planted their loved ones in a forever space that wasn't as safe or peaceful as they thought. Nightly thieves lurking looking to make a dirty profit by tilling a little soil. There was a tidy profit to be had if you picked the right decease person's grave to plunder. Toby Greene was an unscrupulous undertaker looking out for his own bottom line. For a modest fee of $20,000 per location, Toby guaranteed a fresh opportunity. It started with a simple arrangement. Ruby thought what's 20k in light of potential profit a wealthy coffin could yield. It was just a matter of using muscle to reap rewards. The first few discoveries produced disappointing results. A few trinkets, some personal effects, and the occasional valuable item. It required multiple steps. Digging up the freshly turned earth, popping open a coffin lid to grab the treasures hidden inside. Covering the body back up to avoid losing a work site. Then fence the haul. By the time the accounts were reviewed, Ruby had collected $90,692 in fenced goods. Toby Greene had collected considerably more. The undertaker's fees had reached $1,640,000. Ruby stared at the figures. Her deal with Toby Greene was looking more profitable for him. He was not getting dirty over the deed. Then Ruby stared at Toby the next time she went for her tip. "Let me get this straight. I've been paying you twenty thousand dollars every time you locate a grave, and you're telling me this is a profitable arrangement?" Toby adjusted his tie. "Madam, I provide a specialized service. Quality locations aren't easy to find." Ruby wanted to adjust the deal, but Toby wasn't moved by her argument. Toby made it clear he wasn't lacking customers for his information. He made digging better in that one didn't waste time on the wrong spots. Still she had to consider better career opportunities. Still she slid one last envelope towards Toby hoping for a substantial find. Based on the count of 82 graves: Adding up the math meant total fenced proceeds of $90,692 with an Undertaker fee: 82 × $20,000 = $1,640,000 of profit for the undertaker. Net result for Ruby was −$1,549,308 and a financial disaster, not a sound business model. The best cemetery paydays were as follows: Bricktop $ 15,000 Nolan_Connell $ 10,020 Bruce_Bers $ 8,770 RichardLinder. $ 7,910 RobertMagouirk $ 3,220 James_Owen $ 3,864 Terry_Bosco $ 1,963 Daniel_Carmody $ 1,598 Diane_Phillips $ 1,595 RonaldFiorenza $ 732 20 hauls at pathetic. $ 500 So this was a wrap on her graveyard days. It would be more profitable to lift a wallet or snag a purse. Not to mention less cleaning needed. So Ruby closed the ledger on this criminal operation. Much to the joy of her carpeting and back. To the dirt poor street thug, Ruby's advice would be avoid, Toby Greene by doing a little more coffin sorting. It might take more time and hard work, but the profit margin would be much better. Not to mention better sleep and working hours. Next thing Ruby considered, was testing pawn shops to find the best bang for the buck if that were even possible. Ruby was aware that some blockheads didn't even look at the numbers, they merely were working drones on a graveyard shift. |
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