Many long faces are gathered around the campfire today. Not just because the world has been plunged into violence, but because there are no devilshly handsome NPCs to ogle. Unlike the last war which stretched into multiple days, there are no gentlemen twinning top hats and denim overalls standing on every street corner. No longer can I dodge a bullet to my left and bump into a man with a fine mustache, a football shirt and a dinner jacket. 

This makes me melancholy. I am a visual person. I like to look at pretty things. Is that a crime? I don't think so. Speaking of crimes, one criminal has been snatched from our streets permanently; TextBasedMafiaRPGMan. A guy who was once so famously tough that he took on every man and his dog, besting Father-TeQ in a hypothetical street fight before getting himself thrown inside for associating with known delinquents. What will Text's legacy be? Will he be remembered fondly for the period where I was the de facto Don of his crew? Will they honour him by fighting on due to his overly generous ratings? I've decided now is a good time to review those:

1. InnocentLambKofta - Awarded a 10/10. Died seemingly around the first wave. Known for gross incompetence and getting lost in the eyes of NPCs. Chance of avenging Text: 0%. Revised rating: 0/10.
2. Arin - Awarded 10/10. Jailed shortly afterwards and permanently locked in a dream sleep unable to return. Chance of avenging Text: 0%. Revised rating: 0/10.
3. NicoVoss - Awarded 10/10. Very handsomely dressed and tattooed a tremendous background on his person. Found murdered earlier today. Chance of avenging Text: 0%. Revised rating: 0/10.
4. JonBoutcher - Awarded 10/10. Sent bothersome mass mails and claimed to be doing all he could to assist. Died 'definitely not packing' 48 hours later. Chance of avenging Text: 0%. Revised rating: 0/10.
5. Mt_Dew - Awarded 10/10. I don't know anything about this person except they are dead. Chance of avenging Text: 0%. Revised rating: 0/10.
6. AngelOfTheMorning - Awarded 10/10. Remained angry and judgemental until death, likely barefoot in bright red shorts. Chance of avenging Text: 0%. Revised rating: 0/10.
7. HeraldofBricktownCL - Awarded 10/10. Claimed to herald the return of the greatest Don our shores have ever known. Refused to do the two petty crimes necessary to receive a gun due to it being too much effort. Chance of avenging Text: 0%. Revised rating: 0/10.
8. Chrollo_Lucifer - Awarded 10/10. Very pointy chin. Packing: Definitely. Remaining unsponsored out of loyalty, confusion or despair? Unknown. Chance of avenging Text: 10%. Revised rating: 1/10.

So I guess as the only person not dead, Chrollo_Lucifer was the best man in the crew. Amazing.

In terms of a war update, it is still going on.

Maybe I'll review the rest of the crew later if I'm alive. Less dragons more strikingly handsome NPCs, am I right?

~Ruby was here ~ spray painted the wall

Leaves behind rumor.... I heard a 1% is waiting for Odin....

That's uncalled for.  

The Dude walks up to Odin and pats him on the back

"Dam that’s gotta hurt my dude, chin up though at least they know who you are"

The Dude grabs a flask from his pink cardigan and takes a sip

For the avoidance of doubt, I'm taking any comments that do not directly disagree with the revised ratings as implicit agreement of the revised ratings and acceptance of the greatness of my de facto Donship of that family. So, TheDude, Odin, Ruby, thank you for your support in the condemnation of the former TextBasedMafiaRPG operation.

The question that people are asking now is why haven't you murdered Chrollo_Lucifer yet, gents? Are you worried about losing an eye on his chin? A shouty conspiracy theory from the cloud-shaken-fist of the daughter of AngelOfMorning worrying you? What gives? Wipe the last record of this abomination from the Streets.