| Sep 23 - 03:03:35 |
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| Falcon's bad advice hour | Started by: The_Falcon on Aug 21, '08 22:15 |
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Ok, Mr. DaTxtMan. Looks like you don't even have a problem! Your gonna die anyways. But if I were you, I'd cut off half of my tounge. This way you have an excuse for sounding like such a dumbass. |
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| Reply by: The_Falcon at Aug 24, '08 01:19 | |
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MMM kay. Who's next? Telkin is it? Instead of seeing a shrink like all these other Bozo's, just shoot the damn baby. It's not like he's gonna care. You might end up in jail, but who cares, all the more time to have these disturbing thoughts. |
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| Reply by: The_Falcon at Aug 24, '08 01:22 | |
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Okay, next up is STD. (SmokeyTheDuck). Obviously you haven't been watching the entire show. Someone had this exact same problem. kinda. Be friendly to him. Be the nicest guy around. Agree with everything he says, and never gibe him your real opinion. This should get pretty annoying to the guy, and he should stop wanting to talk to you. "Alright, now that we've got that out of the way, who can I help next?" |
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| Reply by: The_Falcon at Aug 24, '08 01:24 | |
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Hi Mr.Falcon I have a problem...I cant seem to wanna pull the trigger on a gun. Doctors call it trigger-a-phobia. Help me please. |
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| Reply by: Nitro_Blue at Aug 24, '08 02:08 | |
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Ahhh. I see your problem Mr. Blue. Being a pussy is nothing.... erm wait... Triggerphobia was it? Ah whatever, TOO-MATE-O, TOO-MAUGHT-O, Same thing. Anyways, this is not uncommon these days. The best solution you ask? Easy!!! Go to this address here, they will take all of your problems away. 1937 W. Broadway Obviously you werent made to run with us big boys. Stop by today! |
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| Reply by: The_Falcon at Aug 24, '08 03:27 | |
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| *coughs* I don't have "beat someone in with -a- bat phobia" *smiles* | |
| Reply by: Nitro_Blue at Aug 24, '08 03:41 | |
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Lord Spermington III sinks another beer, gathering the courage to call in, swatting a fly away from his face he leans forwards and makes the call. My name is Lord Spermington III and I have something for you. I was talking to my mother the other day about my sister, I have a sneaky feeling that she has been impregnated by the fat man at the end of the street, I always see her smiling at him and then a week ago I saw her going in there, when she returned she promised it was only to take in the man's newspaper which had been left out on the street, it was, after all, starting to rain. All of this week I have heard her running down stairs and in to the bathroom, I became worried and so followed her and listened outside the door, I could hear her vomiting. She's a mere 16 years old and I am pretty sure it's morning sickness, so I rang my mother one day from work, the conversation went a little something like this. -Mother I need to talk to you. -Not now son, I'm kind of busy. -It's important ma. -Can you tell me tonight? I'll make cookies.. -Ma! -Ok, tell me what's wrong, I assume something is wrong, you never call unless it's bad news. -I think Casey is pregnant. -Oh no son, this can not be true. -Oh really! Well she's got morning sickness! -You'll have to trust me when I say I know it's not true. -I'm the one living with her, she's been a bit mental and she is throwing up every morning. -Well I know she can't be. -How? -She's still on her period. -How on earth would you know that? -Your fathers dick tastes funny....*long pause*.....hello?......*click* HOW CAN THIS BE WORSE?! |
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| Reply by: Lord_Spermington_III at Aug 24, '08 12:03 | |
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Wow. Honestly Lord_Spermington_III, I can say that I've never had to deal with this one. I can give you some advice, but it might not be the greatest. heres a few things you could try.... *Pay someone to sleep with your sister. This way you don't know for a fact that shes carrying your neigbors baby. (Trust me it will help) *Visit Nitro_Blue (Pervevious caller). If he hasn't taken my advice he might be able to help you with "Your little problem" And last but not least.... *Change your last name for fucks sake. Honestly, how can you go around with the last name Spermington and not expect to get pregnant. Anyways, I think you got some issues man. Maybe you should see a shrink? Nah. "Thank you for calling the hour of bad advice with The_Falcon, what can I do for you?" |
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| Reply by: The_Falcon at Aug 24, '08 12:15 | |
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Well thanks for the advice, maybe I should see a shrink but then looking at small people bothers me. He hangs up the phone, goes to the shed and takes out the pick axe. Staring at it lovingly he mutters "It's ok, we'll show the fat man what's what." Up the road he trudges to where the fat man lives, he knocks on the door and when the fat man opens it, pushes his way inside. |
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| Reply by: Lord_Spermington_III at Aug 24, '08 12:27 | |
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Oh hey falcon i got a question, would it be smart for a made man to wack at someone in another crew? OH nvm you tried that. |
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| Reply by: Premeir at Aug 25, '08 02:33 | |
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| Well, he was always full of bad advice. | |
| Reply by: Smokeytheduck at Aug 25, '08 02:48 | |
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| Damit Premeir you beat me to my question :( | |
| Reply by: Satan at Aug 25, '08 05:53 | |
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| Well my pop's was right about you. You always have bad advice. | |
| Reply by: OmegaRed at Aug 26, '08 18:21 | |
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| Falcon, is it necrophilia if she's alive when you start but by the end she's dead? | |
| Reply by: Willie_Phatballz at Aug 27, '08 11:01 | |
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