I know that if you have contacts off, the CAs will be a darker shade of gray.

First i think that if your contacts are on you should be able to tell the difference between CAs and real players

Second I think Your own CA(s) should be a different color for you to spot them easier.

comments?

CAs have an asterisk in front of their name.
If you want your CA's name to stand out, you can add them to your contacts.
They will still differ from real players in your contacts by having an * in front.

i enabled my contacts and the CAs dont have an asterisk in front of their name they look like regular members

CA's only have an asterisk in front of their name if you have the in game timers & contacts turned on.