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Pickles Piss Me Off Started by: Phil_Steak on Aug 24, '12 21:11

Phil was still laying in bed in the penthose suite at the Royal Orleans in Louisiana. As much as Phil would have enjoyed this being a vacation, it wasn't. No, it was even better than a vacation for Phil, it was business.

Phil had always been a solid earner. Some are driven by the dream power, others for fame. Phil was driven by money. This craving.. no obsession, with wealth was the single biggest motivator to Phil. Phil may have been brilliant earning money, but he was equally horrible with spending it. Millions of dollars would be spent regularly on silly clothing, accessories, and gifts. Hell, hundreds of thousands of dollars alone had gone into the collection of shoes with red bottoms that would be worn by Bunny, the hand of his Godfather DeadlySin. Phil wouldn't allow Bunny to wear each pair of shoes more than once. Keeping her happy meant keeping DeadlySin happy. Keeping DeadlySin happy meant keeping Phil in business.

Phil had been monitoring the action in New Orleans for the past several weeks. He was astonished at the amount of money flowing in this amazing city. What boggled him the most was that this beautiful economy wasn't anywhere near its potential. Phil had spoken to DeadlySin about the earning potential available there, however Phil didn't know what exactly DeadlySin would do with this information at first. One thing Phil did know though, was that both him and DeadlySin agreed the current Godfather in New Orleans was half way out the door already. There was an absolute disconnect between Godfather and the rest of the city. Money should have been flowing up, but it wasn't. This was no way for an organization to run.

Phil rolls to the side of the bed and opens the nightstand drawer. He pulls out an opened envelope and reads the contents of it once again:

"It's your time. - Deadly"

This very same envelope had contained a one way plane ticket to New Orleans.

He put the letter back into the envelope and placed it back in the drawer. He let out a slight moan as he stretched, enjoying his final seconds in bed, knowing he had to get up and get ready for his meeting with the Godfather of New Orleans.
 
Phil reaches for the telephone and dials Cassi's room.

Cassi, let us not disrespect the Godfather of New Orleans and make sure we arrive on time. Please have everyone downstairs in the lobby by 5. Thank you dear. Oh, and make sure to wear the dress in the box I had sent to your room.... No No, the box was supposed to be empty (Phil responded, while laughing). I still think you should wear it! Fine! Don't wear that one then! At least wear the necklace in the box under your bed.

Phil hangs up the phone, knowing Cassi will absolutely adore the necklace he had placed there. It came from Marie Antoinettes collection itself. Bunny had helped Phil purchase this before their trip, while they were of shopping for more dazzling shoes of course.

Phil made his way to the hotel lobby at 4:45, not surprised to find Cassi long with Vaticus and ClockworkAngel. Phil knew he could count on these people to deliver in any situation, even the tiniest of things, such as being downstairs in time. Phil nodded at the group and motioned towards the doors, walking behind the rest of the group. A Rolls Royce Phantom was parked outside for them to use, compliments of the Hotel for Mr. Steak.

Not a word was spoken during the 20 minute drive to the Godfathers mansion. Upon arrival, Phil and his companions were taken immediately to the dining room. The Godfather and his consigliere were already seated. The Godfather insisted they enjoy dinner before Phil and him went to his office to discuss business.

During the course of the meal, Phil was shocked at how openly the Godfather spoke of his 'organization'. Of course, the word 'organization' was used very loosely in Phils head to describe what he was hearing. During the course of the meal, the Godfather insisted that Phil eat one of the pickles. The Godfather boasted that he pickled the cucumber himself, right out of his own garden.
Phil politely declined the offer, citing that his extreme abomination for pickles. That didn't stop the Godfather from dropping a gigantic pickle on Phils plate, ruining the filet mignon that Phil was still working on.

Let us please go to your office, we do have a flight to catch and I still need to pack... Phil says to the Godfather, more of an annoyed statement than a question.

The Godfather and Phil excuse themselves from the table to go speak in private.

What is it that you came to speak to me about, Mr. Steak? Is it in regards to the violence that has bestowed upon my city recently? Are there more issues that need to be settled? the Godfather asks.


I think its time for a bit of a change.... We can both agree, for someone to make it as long as you have is an extraordinary achievement. However, you're losing your grip on the city. I beleive it's time that you retire.

Ahh, and let me guess. You would take my place, is that right?

Phil nods.

You really don't beat around the bush at all, do you kid. So what incentive do I have?

Well, to be fair, I first thought about $100 millon dollars. But you see, Bunny and Cassi... they have this thing for shoes with red soles on them. Then I started to think about all the money, time, effort it's going to take to set up properly in here. Lets be frank, you're not really running a finely tuned operation here. I was able to fit about 50 million in this briefcase however...

50 million for me to retire? You could make that in half a year without lifting a finger here!

Let me tell you a story. You know, Phil_Steak isn't my real name. My name is Googlez.  However, I really do love me some steak. You know what my favorite steak is? It's the PHILet-Mignon. You know, the one you fucking ruined with your goddamn pickles? Phil verbally snaps at the Godfather, while casually opening the briefcase to display the 50 million dollars.

What the hell is your point? What are you getting at? the Godfather yells back, reaching into his drawer...

Pickles piss me off.


Phil reaches into the briefcase and pulls out a revolver sensing the Godfather isn't reaching for a pen from the drawer....

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Cassi was standing in her room, dressed in a slip and stockings, holding an empty box in her hand. She was just about to phone Phil's room when her phone rang. She picked it up and was not surprised to hear his voice on the other side. They often ran into each other in the halls of the HQ on the way to talk to the other at the same time. Or hand delivered messages at the same time. She listened as he spoke. Then he brought up the "dress" he wanted to her wear.

Oh right, so very funny! The box is empty!!! You can't seriously expect me... I am not wearing nothing!!! Wait... What?! Necklace?!

She dropped the phone and rushed to the bed. She knelt down and groped for a box. When her hand found it, she smiled and pulled it out quickly. She stared at the box for a moment, unable to open it right away. She knew that Phil had an extreme love for all things expensive and she could only imagine what was inside this box. And if she could imagine it, it was probably even more brilliant. She lifted the lid slowly and her eyes widened as she gasped. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She gently pulled the necklace from the box and made her way to the mirror. She slipped it around her neck and clasped it in the back, her eyes lighting up as she turned and admired the necklace. Then she remembered why they had come. She rushed to the phone and called Vaticus and ClockworkAngel, telling them to meet her in the lobby in 12 minutes exactly. She pulled the hot rollers from her hair on the way to the closet where the dress she had chosen was still hanging in the plastic bag. She dressed quickly, fussed with the curls and then she was out the door.

When Phil joined them in the lobby she was not surprised to see such an air of calmness about him. When the stakes were high, he was at his smoothest. When he signaled towards the door, she slipped her arm through Vaticus' while ClockworkAngel took his other arm and they headed outside, just a few steps in front of Phil. She knew that he was thinking. In situations like these you had to be prepared for anything and Phil was always one to look at the whole picture. They rode in silence the whole way to the Godfathers mansion. When they arrived, after stepping out of the car, Cassi took Phil's arm this time as they were led inside and straight into the dining room.

Cassi paid close attention during the meal, trying to gauge the Godfathers mood. Surely he knew the reason they had come. The only question was, would he accept the deal. As the meal went on, she began to find the Godfather quite boastful and pushy. When the subject of pickles was brought up, she tensed up. She could already tell this particular part of the evening was not going to end well. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, pushing her unfinished dinner away from her as she suddenly lost her appetite. When Phil finally brought up that he and the Godfather should get on with business, she could hear the annoyance in his voice and she could feel the tension increase in the room. She gripped the edge of the table to keep her from jumping up to follow them into the room. She had known that the Godfather would want to speak to him privately, but being here now, she suddenly felt uneasy about letting Phil out of her sight.

Once they were gone, she just looked from Vaticus to ClockworkAngel. She didn't feel comfortable expressing her concerns out loud for two reasons. She didn't want to jinx Phil and she didn't want the Godfather's Consigliere to hear her. She forced a smile, but she knew that the two of them could see how nervous she was. She reached for her glass of wine and tried to make small talk with the group, not wanting the Consigliere to become suspicious. The longer it took, the more fidgety she became. How long could this kind of deal take, she thought to herself. When her glass was empty, she looked to the Consigliere and asked him if she might trouble him for another bottle. He wasn't even gone from the room for a minute when the gunshot sounded. Her heart was literally in her throat as the three of them jumped from the table.

Secure the area!! I do not want anyone near that office! Go now!!

She shouted at Vaticus and ClockworkAngel as she hiked up the bottom of her dress and reached into her stocking, pulling out her gun. Heading towards the office, she remembered the Consigliere... What direction had he gone in? Shit! She couldn't remember. She just hoped she made it to the office before he did. She followed the way that she had watched Phil go, suddenly realizing she had no idea what door she was looking for. As she turned the corner, she realized she didn't have to know, because right in front of her was the Consigliere, his hand reaching for the office door. She drew her gun and let out a little whistle. As soon as he looked up, she pulled the trigger. She didn't even wait for him to fall to the floor before popping another shot. Then she rushed for the door. Without hesitation she threw the door open and then aimed her gun. What she saw was Phil standing there, over the body of the Godfather. She threw her arms around him as relief flooded through her body.

Oh my God... You're okay... I mean... You are okay right???

She stepped back away from him quickly, a panic in her voice as she was realizing she hadn't bothered to check in the first place. She looked him over carefully, even though she knew she was just overreacting, there had only been one gunshot.

You realize... I'm not letting you out of my sight for a long time after this...

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Vaticus sat quietly in his hotel room, staring vacantly out the window at the bright city of New Orleans.  His head swam with anticipatory schemes while he gently drew circles with a throwing blade against a whetstone cradled in his hand.  The phone rang sharply – Vaticus’ hand fell to the receiver to silence its cries.  “Hello?  Ah, I thought it might be you.  Okay -- in 12 minutes?  That’s very ... precise.”  He chuckled to himself as he re-seated the phone.  After a moment of contemplation, he slowly rose to his feet and conducted a final stocktake of his possessions on hand, “Money.  Drugs.  Knives.”  Satisfied, he languidly exited the room to meet with the others.

The next hour passed by in Vaticus’ mind like a time-lapse video.  Before he realised it, he, ClockworkAngel, Cassi and Phil were already within the doorway of the Godfather’s mansion, exchanging cordial greetings with their host.  Within a matter of minutes they were seated in the dining room, with dinner laid out in front of them.  Vaticus made considerable effort to maintain polite conversation and portray satisfaction with his meal.  More truthfully though, he strategically shifted the food around his plate, seldom picking at it -- he remained locked away in his thoughts, visualising the crimson-coated takeover which was on the cusp of transpiring.

Before long, Phil and the Godfather had excused themselves from the table, leaving the remainder of the party to their awkward devices.  Vaticus felt the tension and suspense creep rigidly up his spine as he surveyed the faces of ClockworkAngel and Cassi, noting how outwardly calm and collected they looked. 

Another moment faded into memory – the Consigliere removed himself from the room following a cunning request from Cassi, and within a minute the deafening crack of a gunshot was heard.  Vaticus slid his chair back and stood quickly, heeding Cassi’s instruction and signalling briefly to ClockworkAngel that he would clear the nearby rooms to their left.

Vaticus made his way rapidly down a long hallway that connected to the dining room.  He moved smoothly from room to room, somewhat surprised at the lack of an armed entourage.  As he neared the final room at the end of the hall, the door unexpectedly burst open and three goons piled out, with faces covered in disdain and gloves full of guns. 

Vaticus slipped a hand into his coat, palmed a throwing knife and sent it with frightening velocity into the right orbital socket of the centre henchman.   In the same movement, Vaticus propelled himself sideways into an adjacent room, an instant before the remaining two men could catch him in their crosshairs.  He moved a few paces back into the darkened confines, positioning himself on an angle to the threshold, obfuscated in the shadow cast by the door. 

The two goons wasted no time, rushing into the room with their guns saccading for a target.  Cruel intentions were plastered over Vaticus’ face as he leapt forward, snapping a forceful kick into the side of the leading henchman, throwing the man off balance and into a wall.  Maintaining his momentum, Vaticus moved in on the other attacker, using his right hand to clutch and wrestle at the man’s gun, while unsheathing a knife with his left.   With swift motion, Vaticus brought finality to the scuffle.  He commandeered his opponent’s gun, firing a single round into the goon who had toppled into the wall, while simultaneously driving his knife into the throat of the upright assailant.  Vaticus paused just long enough to watch both men fall into a heap, finding company in the deep crimson puddle that had accumulated on the floor.

Vaticus found his way back past the dining room, where he spotted ClockworkAngel finishing off a few goons of her own.  After noting she clearly had things under control, Vaticus continued to where Phil and Cassi congregated over the Godfather’s body.  He stood before them, breathing heavily, with blood spattered down the front of his clothing.  A smile wired itself across his face as he spoke, “So... New Orleans?”

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Angel sat at the small table by the window, over looking the city. Taking a long drag from her cigarette, she took her focus from the city lights to the bluish smoke lazily filtering upwards as she exhaled. She had a feeling it was going to be an interesting night. Picking up the envelope that was delivered to her back in Philly by one of the Family messengers, she pulled the note out from Phil.

Angel, here is an airline ticket. See you in the South. Bring something fancy to wear. -Phil

She stood, still holding the note, a smile on her face. Phil was always so vague, but she knew what he meant. Putting the note down on the end of the bed, she reached over and lifted the slinky black dress she had packed, along with her garter/holster, and a pair of red shoes. The shoes had black soles, just so Cassi wouldn't try to steal them off her feet tonight. Heading into the bathroom, she dressed. As she was fitting her .25 into her garter and checking to make sure it was properly concealed, the phone rang. The piercing shrill nearly had her jumping out of her skin as she rushed to answer it.

"Hello? Oh hello dear! Yes, of course, 12 minutes."

Looking at the clock, she figured she'd be ready in 10. Replacing the phone into it's cradle, she headed back to the bathroom to do some final touches on her hair and makeup, finishing with a beautiful diamond pendant given to her by someone special. One last glance at herself, she was satisfied and headed down to the lobby to meet with her Family.

She was the first to arrive, but not by too long. Mr. Vazzi was also there, looking handsome and calm......and deadly. Cassi showed up with style, glowing and beautiful as always. Shortly after Phil joined them, a small smile of satisfaction on his face. She wasn't sure if it was because of how sharp he looked, but he had a certain aire about him tonight. Slipping her arm through Vazzi's, she allowed herself to be escorted to the beautiful Phantom that was to be their ride this evening.

On the ride there, the calm within the group was obvious. They all knew what they had come here to do tonight, but the confidence that they were doing what was right and just calmed their nerves just enough to make this ordeal a little fun. As they pulled up to the Godfather's Mansion, that calm turned into ice water and they all put their game faces on.

Thoughout dinner, Angel cringed inside several times as the Godfather discussed business openly. Outwardly, she carried on small talk and pleasantries. She noticed Vazzi pushing his food around his plate, looking a bit uncomfortable. She reached under the table and patted his knee, giving him a small smile and a nod. Glancing at Cassi, she could tell that the second in command of the Family was becoming annoyed with this boastful Godfather and how he was treating our boss. Once the pickles came out though, she knew this dinner was over.

As the Boss left to go speak with the Godfather about business, she waited for the signal. When Cassi got the Consig out of the room, she couldn't have had better timing. A gunshot! Angel quickly jumped up from the table, the .25 from her garter already in her hand. She saw Cassi head in the direction Phil had gone and Vazzi had gone left. She had two choices now. Go back towards the front of the house, or toward the right wing. She knew she would be leaving her Family in danger if she chose either, so she backed into the far right corner of the room and waited. From the hallway leading to the front of the house came the goon who had originally opened the door. Before he even noticed she was in the room, she planted a bullet into the back of his skull. He dropped like a bag of potatoes, a .45 falling out of his hand. She quickly picked it up and spun, catching two more thugs coming from her left. Two shots to the brain left them both out of commission permanently. She spun to her right, catching movement out of the corner of her eye, catching Vazzi heading back towards where Phil and the Godfather had gone. Dropping the thugs gun, she quickly followed, concerned for her Boss. Upon entering the office, she saw Phil first, standing near the body of the now dead Godfather. Cassi was hugging him tightly, tears in her eyes. She nodded in approval and pride towards her Boss. Vazzi was standing by, blood on his shirt. Angel then pulled out her handkerchief from her left breast and approached Vazzi. Dabbing at the blood on his shirt, she smiled up at him.


I don't think the cleaner's going to be able to get that out sweetheart.

Turning she saw Cassi and Phil standing arm in arm, smiles on both their faces. She knew they had succeeded, they were all alive and well, and they were now standing in their new home. Smiling up at Vazzi, she nodded in reply to his question,

New Orleans......

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Phil looks over at ClockworkAngel and Vaticus, making sure they're not hurt.

Oh, I should have mentioned, you know that hotel we were staying at? The Royal Orleans? I am now a 50% owner. Vaticus, that Rolls Royce we drove here? That's now yours.
ClockworkAngel, the penthouse is now your permanent room. I figured you would need a nice play to stay if you are going to be handling the crew from now on.


Phil pauses a moment to let it sink in.

Congrats ClockworkAngel!

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Angel smiles boldly at her new Godfather, pride filling her voice.

Thank you so much for this opportunity Godfather Phil, and I promise I won't let you down.

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Vaticus considers Phil's gift for a moment, wondering if this means he's been demoted to the rank of "Driver". Realising this probably isn't the case, he nods thankfully and approvingly at Phil, Cassi and ClockworkAngel.

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The city of New Orleans once again rises to glory. I suspect a rapidly growing population and many improvements will be forthcoming. Congrats to you all.

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