The winter LudariusCane was born was a hard one. LudariusCane and his mother lived in a small ramshackle row home in Philadelphia with Ludarius's young cousin, coincidentally named LudariusCanesCousin. Times were tough and money was scarce. When LudariusCanesMom's lover Moussey ran out on her in a cowardly fashion to pursue a career as as donkey show fluffer to support his heroin habit, leaving her broke and pregnant, LudariusCanesMom was forced to take a factory job. It was hard work and she was pregnant with Ludarius. The pregnancy had not gone seamlessly, and LudariusCanesMom was told by the doctor he would be bound to an incubator the first month of his life until his frail, sickly, birdlike frame was able to endure the harshness of the real world. The expense of a proper incubation unit was too high for LudariusCanesMom, and she was forced to make do by keeping him in a large jar in the toilet, occasionally changing the toilet water with simmering hot water from the stove to keep him warm. But time flies and it wasn't long before LudariusCane had outgrown the jar and eventually the toilet itself and was able to go out into the world on his own. 

He was a carefree child, always giggling and laughing. His spontaneous "Tee-hees!" of laughter always warmed her heart. He spent his days playing with LudariusCanesCousin, who had grown into a beautiful young girl herself. LudariusCanesMom would oversee their playing, occasionally stepping in when their games became inappropriate.  But the two remained close nonetheless and the three of them would entertain themselves at night by getting under the covers and telling ghost stories since all three of them shared a bed. 

Years went by and by age 17 LudariusCane started showing a independent side of him that troubled LudariusCanesMom. He no longer wanted to share a bed with his mother and cousin and started spending his nights roaming the streets of Philadelphia, making friends with unsavory criminals. He would come home with money, new clothes, and expensive toys. One day LudariusCanesMom opened the door to see her son dressed in an expensive designer suit. "You look like a GANGSTER!" LudariusCanesMom exclaimed, much like Ray Liotta's mother in the movie Goodfellas. The movie Goodfellas, you say? Isn't that OOC-itis? Yes it is, but this is a narrative so take the C out of your A and don't be such a C.  

LudariusCane eventually became a Made Man in the American Mafia. He supported his mother like a good son and eventually moved to New Orleans. He wrote his mother every day, even vowing revenge on LudariusCanesMom's former lover Moussey. Finally that day came and Ludarius ran into Moussey in a dark alley. A fight ensued and Ludarius told him he would make him pay for walking out on his mother and causing her to struggle. Ludarius got his ass kicked but it was a sweet sentiment nonetheless. 

LudariusCanesMom tended to LudariusCanes wounds after the fight. It was a turning point for them. Ludarius decided it was time to make a move. A move to ensure his mother would never have to work in a factory again, a move that would win the heart of the girl he always loved, LudariusCanesCousin. Ludarius worked hard and eventually moved to Detroit, bringing his mommy with him to help him build an empire that would go down in history books as legendary and to pack lunches for him. He had finally made it. LudariusCanesMom always knew he could do whatever he wanted if he put his mind to it.

She was right.

She checked the clock. It was past Ludarius's curfew. She would need to punish him for this. But this could wait until later. In the meantime, she would sit contently in her rocking chair reminiscing on the good old days how much she loved him (Moussey).  She loved Ludarius too of course, but she would reminisce on that shit some other day.

SquidMaster stands up and begins to clap furiously at the story teller..

This is beautiful, it almost made me cry, laugh and pee myself all at the same time. Masterpiece.

Struggling to wipe tears from his eyes WingWongWang approaches the shining example of motherhood that is LudariusCanesMom and gives her a gentle pat on the arse. He whispers a few words in her ear with his thick and barely intelligble Chinese accent.

You've definitely had it wery wough Misses. I'm glad to say that you've waised such a fine boy like Wudarius, he's a inspiwation to us all. I'm wery glad to be wowking with him and you in Detwoit.

Giving her what she suspects to be some kind of a wink, WingWongWang stumbles back to his luxurious Chinese resturant in downtown Detroit to sell more Rooster testicles to the clueless natives.

A real tale of triump and determination. Not by Pimpdaddy himself, but by Moussey for having the courage to lay down with LudariusCanesMom to fornicate. The result gave new life to Detroit. May his tme last longer than a session with MrsCane herself.

*Andromeda stands in the back of the crowd, hiding behind the taller members.  She sits listening to the story with great interest as LudariusCanesMom spins the enthralling tale.  Getting her courage up, as she is holding a bouquet of daisies, she hands then to the lady, and then skips off down the street looking about in wide eyed wonderment.*

dabs her eyes with tissue while clearing her throat before speaking

Such a touching story. Now I have a better understanding as to why I hear Moussey cry himself to sleep some nights while asking himself why he let that one go.

As the crowd listens to the speech of LudariusCane's upbringing, someone starts shouting.

Boooring!

Hoping that no-one realized it was him, Joey leaned against a wall and lit a cigar.

Peeking around the larger mafiosos, Siobhan listens with great interest to LudariusCanesMom tale of woe. It gave her greater insight into Ludarius, and she nodded her head sometimes while lowering it at others. When she ended, Siobhan stepped around the gents in front of her as she wiped away the tears.

Mrs.Cane, I just want to offer you my sympathies on the unending pain inflicted on you by Moussey. And to also let you know that I now understand why Ludarius reacts as he does. I certainly hope this move to Detroit helps settle some of his insecurities.

Siobhan gave a wry smile as she turned and walked on to finish her business.

Greatest mom EVER!

I second this, DoomCrotch!

I have it on good authority that she was, in fact, a ho.