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| Dueling | Started by: Rhett on Oct 11, '07 17:52 |
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...and Why I Think It's Moronic: A Short Story by Rhett Once upon a time there were two Mafiosi named Tony and Vinny. They were part of a large crime syndicate and were very confident in their abilities as hitters and, perhaps even more so, as dodgers of bullets. One day, the two men were making their rounds, collecting protection fees from local businesses when they got to talking. "I'm the best damn hitter this world has ever known. You couldn't find me a target I can't hit," Vinny boasted. Tony scoffed. "Whatever. I know for a fact that you couldn't hit me." "Oh, and you could shoot me?" came Vinny's retort. "Why don't we find out?" So, the two men counted off ten paces in true American tradition, turned, and fired upon each other. Neither hit their mark. Around the same time, the family's Don was walking down the same street and saw these two family members with their weapons drawn against one another. He shook his head sadly and continued his walk, remembering the faces of the two men that so eagerly wished for death. Later that night, the Don placed a few telephone calls. Vinny and Tony were dead before dawn. The moral of the story is such: You have one life to live. If you choose to be careless with yours, it best not be in a way that is so blatantly disrespectful to someone that is, essentially, protecting you. You know, especially if that someone's a mob boss. That'll always get ya. |
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This is quite amusing to read. It tells you so much about the so-called "mafiosi" we have walking the streets today. Massives ego's, which are no doubt compensating for something else and very little cranial capacity. Dumb move guys. Enjoy your stay in hell. |
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| Reply by: SingWhenYoureWinning at Oct 11, '07 18:31 | |
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Alas, whilst the story is very good, i would have to say the facts arn't quite 100% true. The man, takes a seat before speaking. A long, long time ago. There was a man, a stupidly handsome, witty man. But he wasn't happy, he was bored. His life was stagnant, boring and alas, he challenged of dear friend of his to a duel. This would be the first of 3 duels. The man in question, Evisu, was alloud first shot, he took aim and BAM: You tried to WACK! Blondie. He failed. Being a man of his word he allowed his close friend to shoot back: You wacked Blondie back. His friend missed, Evisu from this moment was hooked, an adrenalin junkie. Evisu then asked another person from the small town he had recently been acquainted with and after several minutes of persuasion, persuaded his friend to duel. He allowed him the honours, even claiming to have a rubbish aim in an attempt to provoke a duel, it worked. Jay-C tried to WACK! you. Evisu had evaded death again, his reactions, lightening like, dodged the bullets. It was now his turn, he pulled off a snap shot with no real aim or purpose. You tried to WACK! Jay-C. He missed, in a hurry, Evisu accidentally left his note allowing Jay-C the chance to shoot him by the side of his bed whilst he rushed off to work. It was then that a wack happy, shit faggoted gun slinger named Sprozza found the note. He decided, he wanted a free shot. He hid in Evisu's room in the wardrobe until Evisu came home and quickly went to sleep. He then aimed the gun at Evisu's head whilst he was blissfully unawares, asleep and shot. Sprozza tried to WACK! you. Unfortunatley the longsighted fucktard, who couldn't hit a cows arse with a banjo missed, at point blank range. The gun shot awoke Evisu who immediately returned covering fire as he attempted to find a safe place. You tried to WACK! Sprozza. Evisu had merely managed to get out of his own house alive and fled. He flew to Los Angeles and hoped he could make a new start, with everything that had arisen put behind him. He was wrong. Sprozza was on his case, having decided he was going to finish the job he had miserably failed. He found Evisu hiding in a run down flat and aimed another shot at him. Sprozza tried to WACK! you. The bullet flew past Evisu's ear. He noticed Sprozza hiding in a black out Rover and shot back. The car window smashed, and Sprozza escaped. Evisu had decided he had enough and told the right hand man of the family, Oliver to have a word with Sprozza as he didn't want to continue fighting anymore. Oliver laughed at him and offered him a cookie, yes a fucking cookie. Enraged Evisu shot at Oliver, he didn't expect and didn't really want to kill Oliver, but he was mad. You tried to WACK! Oliver_McTavish. Oliver felt his anger and took pity on him, just returning fire at him for the sake of things. Oliver_McTavish tried to WACK! you. Evisu had a great respect for Oliver more so than anyone else in the family and apologized for his actions. Oliver accepted and they put there little scuffle behind them. Evisu then felt he could head back to his home town, of New York in safety from any possible attacks. He was wrong. Sprozza tried to WACK! you. As he departed from the chippy he heard a gun shot and an innocent pedestrian behind, knees crumpled as they fell to the ground, dead. Evisu ran as fast and hard as he could, and he never looked back, he knew his life with the Catalysts was over. He shot back in attempt to end Sprozza's life and kill the man who had given him sooo much torment. he waited in an alley way for Sprozza to head past and shot. You tried to WACK! Sprozza. He missed and fled cities again. He just wanted this torment to end. Evisu hadn't had a proper nights sleep in months and it was clear why. Whilst in the shower he was shot at from behind, maliciously and for no apparent reason. LeDiablo tried to WACK! you. As Evisu searched for his gun to return fire, he couldn't find it. He instantly knew that his crewleader Rhett had taken it off him. He approached Rhett and asked him why he was being punished. Rhett ignored him and accused Evisu of shooting at his members, he was fucking clueless. Rhett clearly cared not for the truth and only that of his coffeeshop fuck buddy, Sprozza. Evisu felt well and truly shitted on. Evisu fled again and finally got some sleep in a dumper on the outskirts of Las Angeles. He had heard that he was cast from the family, he was a wanted man, all alone, used and abused by his family. He had no gun, money and nothing he could do. He waited for his death... At approximately 17:35 on October 11th Evisu finally died, by a single shot to the head. He was discarded, before eventually being shot, for "miscommunication's." |
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| Reply by: ChickenChowMein at Oct 11, '07 18:50 | |
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And the moral of the story is.... I'm surrounded by retards. |
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| Reply by: OuchI`mDead at Oct 11, '07 18:56 | |
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You should really use a silencer. Or, at very least a potato. Or, y'know, shoot at potato-headed people. Oh... looks like you've done that. Sorry to waste your time. |
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| Reply by: Son-of-Six at Oct 11, '07 23:33 | |
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| In summary - Chinese food is gooooooooood | |
| Reply by: Supreme at Oct 12, '07 05:19 | |
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| I would like to point out all of my shots did not take the form of duels. All of my shots were authed by either my former Crewleader or Right Hand Man. | |
| Reply by: Sprozza at Oct 12, '07 11:19 | |
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I would also like to point out that I did not offer a cookie to the poor soul. I offered him a penguin. |
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| Reply by: Oliver_McTavish at Oct 12, '07 11:27 | |
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| Hell, I'd like to point out that this story was generalized and was in no way the life tale of what's-his-face (as annoying and deserving of death as he was). | |
| Reply by: Rhett at Oct 12, '07 12:57 | |
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| I will dual anybody. Any time, any place. | |
| Reply by: DiscoDuck at Oct 12, '07 13:27 | |
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| I will accept this challenge. I get to shoot first. | |
| Reply by: BrianArao at Oct 12, '07 14:48 | |
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