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| Women, and You. And 5 other stories. | Started by: JavaMonster on Sep 23, '08 15:48 |
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*A man, wearing a black suit with purple pin stripes, is surrounded by a few people in a park. He's sitting on the bench and talking jovially to them.* Once upon a time there was this mean woman. *coughsIriscough* who didn't believe in some of her family members. She said to one of them "Oh, CoffeeFiend, you'll never make it past Gangster." and "CoffeeFiend you're the laziest member of my crew." However, CoffeeFiend didn't want to hold this reputation. He wanted to be the one that would rank to Goomba the very next day. He wanted to be the lowest rank with the highest earnings. So he set out to do just that. On his very first day of trying to be the tried and true mafioso he thought he could be, he was robbed. Robbed of nearly 4,000 dollars. Just some pickpocket on the street. His drug money deterred to nothing. He didn't give up, as dark as it seemed. He grabbed the nearest old ladies' bag and bought some heroin. Later that day he saw the woman again. Again she told him he was lazy and good for nothing. But he didn't let it get him down, he pushed on through kept buying and selling drugs and stepped up to robbing liquor stores. And on and on it went til he finally started robbing 7-11's. Then one day finally, after he was quite exhausted, CoffeeFiend was promoted. He became a Goomba. It was a happy day in his life. From then on he promised the mean woman that he would no longer be a slacker, that he was going to move up in the ranks. She had only one thing to say to this. With a smirk the mean woman said: "Addict." And walked away. What's your "womanly" story? |
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Wow. That has opened my eyes. I personaly have never spoken to a *real* women so I cant tell you too many stories. But once, I was traveling down a long a windy corridor. It was so damn long and gloomy I wasnt sure weather it was going to end. (Although it did end.) All of a sudden this *girl* stepped out in front of me from one of the doorways and she bumped into me. As she did so my hand slipped and it came into contact with her left boosom. At that point she screamed and ran away from me but since that day, my hand has remained unwashed. It still smells of her. Takes a deep smell of his hand Ahhhhh! |
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| Reply by: DJ_Hazard at Sep 23, '08 15:56 | |
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| Women should be shunned and avoided at all costs. They are deceitful by nature and seek to bring down all of civilization. Not only that, their monthly cycles attract bears. You heard me. Bears. | |
| Reply by: FlyingPig at Sep 23, '08 16:02 | |
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Great Now We're putting the whole Mafia at risk Bears.... By the way FP I ate your chocolate squirrel... |
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| Reply by: Shagggyd at Sep 23, '08 16:06 | |
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| -You- took my pickle. | |
| Reply by: Branston at Sep 23, '08 16:07 | |
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| I heard -You- steals ducks too | |
| Reply by: Mont at Sep 23, '08 16:17 | |
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She cuffs Java Monster upside the head and drags him into an alley by his ear where she repeatedly kicks him in the ass then tosses him into traffic. He's so cute, really, he is. He likes it rough. She winks Overhearing her beloved and most treasured Piggy Wiggy spewing his woman hate she smiles and walks over to him. Awe Piggy Poohs, why so negative? I thought you like it when I .... she looks around at those listening Erm, when I stroked your.. ears. Yeah, that's it! |
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| Reply by: Iris at Sep 23, '08 20:42 | |
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Overhearing the lady, Alise turns around smiling and says: Ears are always very sencitive you know. Turning back to the crowd, And I do love bears! I have a few that stay with me permanently. |
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| Reply by: Alise at Sep 23, '08 21:52 | |
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