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| A Clue for the Clueless | Started by: FlyingPig on Sep 29, '08 12:10 |
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FlyingPig steps out to the streets to speak to the drooling mass of idiots who inhabit his surroundings. Seeing one particularly ugly pedestrian, the Pig punches him in the face and then begins to speak Yesterday I was walking down the streets when I bumped into a person who had a bared a striking resemblance to myself. In fact, if someone were to witness a shooting, or be shot at, they absolutely could not have told the difference between this man and myself. This was not a unique occurrence. I have seen this happen time and time again, yet the occasional moron will still believe he is a clever person who has stumbled upon a great new tactic to "get one over" on the mafiosi of our country. Thus, when going through Immigration and Naturalization Services, they change their name to match the appearance of an established mafioso. Yawn... There was Siri, who bore a striking resemblance to Iris. There was Someone, who was indistinguishable from that stealthy mystery man who occasionally shows up, and several others throughout history. The common factor they all shared? They died for their stupidity and for thinking they had come up with some amazing, new, clever tactic. Listen up, fucktards. You are not clever. No, you're not. If you are some young punk, your life means very little to me or to any of the other Bosses around here. I have even considered building a catapult big enough to launch you stupid fuckers into the air and use you as clay pigeons. That's how important your life is to me. So, given your relative importance, how much thought do you think I will put into deciding if you should be killed for attempting to impersonate and incriminate me or other men of honor? About two seconds. That's really all the time I need to think about it. The sad part about this latest incident is that the man who tried to impersonate me was from the bloodline of a family who some have felt was competent and worthy of respect. Mind you, I was never one of those people. I have considered the lineage to be noobs to this thing of ours who were hesitant to learn from others, and that belief was to remain so until I was proven wrong. This latest incident only proves how right I was all along. When his son returned named "FlyingCunt", crying like a little bitch about how his father was wronged, it also reinforced my belief that this lineage refused to learn from the more astute mobsters. A wise young man would have seen his father's death and learned from it. But oh no, not FlyingCunt. His father was the innocent victim of a wrongful act. Of course. So...a clue to the clueless out there. If you are considering a name change, do not try to be funny or clever. If I cannot tell the difference between you and someone who actually matters, I'll resolve the issue the easiest way I know how... Shoot you in your buck-toothed horse gace, and then giggle my mother fucking ass off about it all the way home. You have been warned. It is sad that common sense could not prevail and a warning was actually needed. Have a pleasant day. You may return to screwing your sisters, licking windows, or whatever else it is you do. |
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SunshineButtercup started to take giant beast like steps around the streets after listening to the amazing speech from her idol. Seriously, she looked up to Mr. FlyingPig like he was Santa Clause. Except she knew Mr. FlyingPig was real, she was a little suspicious about that Santa Clause guy. As a man passed her she sneered at him and called him ugly, then spat at his shoe. He called a few words back about "kids these days" and all Sunshine could do was cackle. Continueing to take the large strides around the area she managed to make one baby cry, the mother of the baby curse and a cab driver throw a few dirty words her way. Mother would be so proud. |
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| Reply by: SunshineButtercup at Sep 29, '08 13:16 | |
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Looks on at Sunshine with great pride "That kid has a bright future ahead of her." |
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| Reply by: FlyingPig at Sep 29, '08 13:20 | |
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My sister likes it when I get down and dirty with her. That is if I had one. Now you've just made me feel bad for not having a sister! BASTARD! Mommy should have reproduced more! Runs away in tears. |
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| Reply by: TrialByError at Sep 29, '08 14:37 | |
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*Looks at the kid run away in tears and shakes his head* Your mother shouldnt have reproduced at all. |
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| Reply by: Seraphim at Sep 29, '08 14:56 | |
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Can you be slightly less cryptic? I'm still missing the clue :S |
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| Reply by: Oompa_Loompa at Sep 29, '08 16:13 | |
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| Not to get wise with you in any sense but what about FlyingWig. Wig and Pig both respected members but very close names. | |
| Reply by: RogerRabbit at Sep 30, '08 15:30 | |
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There is a distinct difference between the two, FlyingPig and FlyingWig, Roger. I think the man was merely remarking on those that try to make monikers that closely resemble another established mobster's. I don't think FlyingWig and FlyingPig would be easily confused with one another, but- using one of the identities the Manimal himself brought up- Iris and Siri may be a close call. Imagine it someone named RobBitaRager were walking around. I can see how some Mobsters would indeed, if under the shock and disillusionment of witnessing a murder, confuse the man with yourself. See the point now? |
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| Reply by: Marietta at Sep 30, '08 15:37 | |
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Hearing the conversation and hearing the mention of his name, adjust his wig and clears his throat. As Marietta mentioned previously, people with an ounce of sense will be able to tell the difference between myself's and FlyingPig's name should anyone ever accuse us of wrong doing's via witness statement's, yes our names are similar BUT they are still DIFFERENT! People that come into this world that make their names by re-arrangeing someone else's either by accident or on purpose pose a threat to the individual that they have copied. If the intenetion is to commit wrong doings such as random shooting or mugging than the resulting witness statement if wrongly identified can mean bad news for one of both parties and these people need to be found and dealt with such as FlyingPig's speech earlier. The difference is, that the individual in question, rather than conceed that he made a mistake and carry on life through his kin, decided to raise a stink and make a none to imaginative and slanderous name yet again aimed at FlyingPig and again in turn got what he so rightly deserved from the god's of this world, which led Pig to make his speech to raise the issue and make his point. I hope my explanation can furthur shed some light on the situation. FlyingWig wipes his brow, adjust his wig and wanders off to the coffee shop. |
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| Reply by: FlyingWig at Sep 30, '08 16:21 | |
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| i look quite like branston but he probbly wont just shoot me because hes not a big idiot | |
| Reply by: StarBonn at Sep 30, '08 18:14 | |
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Thank you, Mr Wig. I thought my point was clear, but I guess it needs to be broken down even further. The mobster in question was named FypPingLi. If you rearrange the letters in his name, it spells "FlyingPig". Now, when a witness statement shows up in your hands, and the letters are scrambled, the name could be either "FlyingPig", or "FygPingLi". There is no way to know who is the culprit, and several idiots have tried to use this tactic to their advantage, thinking that no one would realize the potential impact. Mr Li was a tard, indeed. First, for trying one of the oldest tricks in the book, secondly for thinking I would be unaware of his motives. Sadly for the tard in question, I have seen (and done) pretty much every shady tactic possible under the sun, and him thinking he was going to get one past me was quite foolish. It is quite laughable that this doofus honestly believed he could pull something on me. You cannot con a Con. As for my friend FlyingWig, the same problem does not exist. I do not have a "W" in my name, so there is no way the two of us could be confused. I'm sure my deceased friend, if he were still alive, STILL wouldn't understand this. Or at least he would pretend not to in order to continue his charade of outrage concerning his death. |
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| Reply by: FlyingPig at Sep 30, '08 18:20 | |
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| I understand I was just throwing my two bits out there. Both are well established mobster's non the less. | |
| Reply by: RogerRabbit at Sep 30, '08 18:20 | |
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I have one more question and hopefully it's no burden to ask since it goes along with what has been said. FlyingPig stated that he would kill any Mafioso who made a mockery of the name of a well established Mafioso. So in turn does that give auto auth? Such as, RabbitRoger comes to these shores and I decide to shoot him but he is sponsored. The Mafioso made a similar name and I felt disgraced, would I be in the wrong in doing so? |
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| Reply by: RogerRabbit at Sep 30, '08 18:24 | |
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| StarBonn, perhaps Branston trusts you with his life. If you were to shoot at me, I wouldn't sit on my ass trying to figure out if it was him or you that took the shot. I would kill you both. | |
| Reply by: FlyingPig at Sep 30, '08 18:25 | |
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| Yes, you would, Roger. The proper course of conduct would be to come to Iris or myself, and then one of us would shoot him. | |
| Reply by: FlyingPig at Sep 30, '08 18:26 | |
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That's the normal protocol but it's my name and reputation. I'm not arguing and I would follow protocol, it's just my name and it'd make the "Don't mess with me feel" occur. Just a thought. Shrugs. |
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| Reply by: RogerRabbit at Sep 30, '08 18:28 | |
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My point was just that respect can play in. I mean who wants "FlyingCunt" running around, honestly. I understand the problem that you might die for someone elses actions. I just thought respect was part of it. Roger frills his ears and hops off eating a carrot. |
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| Reply by: RogerRabbit at Sep 30, '08 18:36 | |
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Not trying to be inconsiderate to you FlyingPig, but these people who make these names are already aware of what they are doing and probably know that people are going to catch on to these tactics they are trying to use. To get to my point, what is the point exactly of posting this thread like this? Again not trying to disrespect you in anyway, but in my opinion all it shows is a couple long paragraphs that let them know they got under your skin, threatening them with death will not stop them from doing it again. You see the man scratch his head in confusion as he waits for an answer |
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| Reply by: Navy at Oct 01, '08 05:30 | |
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Navy maybe this speech was presented to help deter any people who don't know what they are doing? Maybe FlyingPig doesn't care that people already know. This has been a trend that some have put forth for many generations, trying to have respected mafioso incriminated. Maybe all the letters in FlyingPig's name are copyrighted. All in all he was voicing his own opinion and was plainly letting those who may not know what fate they will seal for themselves should they try to put his name in jeopardy. |
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| Reply by: Adam_Wall at Oct 01, '08 09:44 | |
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| Point understood. | |
| Reply by: Navy at Oct 01, '08 10:25 | |
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