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| Daze Craze Radio 420 - Episode 4 | Started by: BuddahBear on Sep 29, '08 18:13 |
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Everyone huddles around the radio in the Head quarters awaiting the anticipated Episode 4 when a sound comes across everyone gets excited and go silent. Static begins and fades into song Just turned on the radio, Listnin' to that 420 show They make us laugh and make us cry, Well listen to them until we die. The radio show is called Daze Craze The hosts are great cause they like to Blaze They're Armani and Buddah Bear. They give out money like they don't care So listen up and listen now We'll smoke our bowls and then we'll chow Welcome to Armani and BuddaBear's Daze Craze 420 radio show where anything goes. Now, here's BuddahBear and Armani. BuddahBear: Wow it feels good to be back after the long delay. First I would like to apologize too the fans who have been awaiting this for some time now. Many of you might have heard since the sad death of Adamine his son has stepped up to take his spot. So without further ado i'd like to intoduce you all to Armani. You hear the sound of a slap BuddahBear: Ahhh it feels good slapping someone in the studio again. Armani: Yeah, but unlike my drugged out father, I won't stand for it. You just fucked up my $3,000 suit. Do it again, and we will have to replace you as well sir. You hear yet another slap followed by a scream SON OF A BITCH! BuddahBear: Serves you right youngin! So how is the life of crime treating you so far? Armani: You do that 13 or 14 more times, and I'm liable to flip out. Anyways, crime isn't my line of work. To dirty. But what can I say? The ladies dig it. BuddahBear: Yes they do, and some also dig the Radio show. You'll learn all of that in due time I suppose. Since this is your first episode with me is there anything you'd like to say to the listeners? Armani: Wether they do or don't, doesn't really bother me. I'm just here so I can hear my own voice. BuddahBear: Well you heard it ladies. No sexy time for Armani, he just gets aroused by his own voice. Interesting indeed. Well first on the table I would like to congratulate Branston, Marrietta and Mont on their acheivements to the Don rankings. I know it's been some time since they have held the position but, without the show being on air, we were unable to do so. So once again, great damn job. Now buy me some herb! I wouls also like to take time and say great job to our theme song winner and our logo winners. Hell of a job! So Armani, a question that one of the listeners have sent in, Armani do you prefer woman over men? Hmmm that's an odd one. Armani: OH OH!! Almost forgot, congrats to StripheCorelli on making Capo. He is truly a work art. Send loads of money to him now. BuddahBear: That's great congrats StripheCorelli, but your evading the question. Armani: Oh I'm sorry, I was to busy oogleing over my own voice you hear yours... Men over women? No. No chance in hell. Actually, since I havn't taken the drug addict route, I have found it quite easy to find female companions. I am currently in a relationship with one as well. (No she doesn't have a cleft lip, nor does she come from an orphanage) BuddahBear: Hey I heard orphanage chicks can get freaky, kinda like chatholic shcoolgirls. Don't be a hater, masterbate her! So now that your on the show, what are you plans? I hope you enjoy giving out cash! Armani: I'll leave the orphanage mastrubation up to you. I prefer the schoolgirl look. There are few things I enjoy, but yes, giving away cash is one of them... That and listening to my own voice. BuddahBear: Well I don't have personal experience, but my buddy Llovehand stated he enjoyed a few good rubbings here and there. Armani: ZOMG. Is he from an orphanage? Are you not telling me something? Did you used to be a catohlic priest? BuddahBear: The only praying I do, is on the toilet after a night of eating Cajun food. Anyways, since you like to give out cash, I want to introduce to you a little thing we here at Daze Craze like to do, it's called the Free cash giveaway. What we do is pick a random listener and give them free cash. Here I'll show you how. BuddahBear picks up the phone and it begins to ring until finally someone picks up BuddahBear: Good day and how are you? trix: Im good thanks, yourself? BuddahBear: Doing great thank you. I'm BuddahBear from Daze Craze radio and you have been selected for our random cash giveaway. How does it feel sir? trix: wow.......it feels very nice, thank you!! BuddahBear: Your very welcome and may I add, that is a very sexy picture of yourself you have there. trix: Thank you, though not everybody shares your opinion and i have had certain messages implying that the photo is there as some kind of joke. BuddahBear: Well it turns me on so good on you! Well thank you very much for your time sir. BuddahBear hangs up the phone Armani: Do you have problems? BuddahBear: Between me and you that guy scares the shit out of me. Armani: Right......... Why'd you just slip his/her phone number in your pocket then? BuddahBear: What I do on my off time doesnt concern the masses. Armani: Whatever you say man. Anyways, I'm new to this whole thing, so what else are we gonna be doing? BuddahBear: Well lets take a commercial break and well discuss it then. Noone touch that dial! Daze Craze will be right back. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Like what you hear? Want be to be a part of the Daze Craze 420 show? Then wait no longer! Call 800-daze420 today to be a guest on the show. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man: You know everyday I seem to have the problem with using the restroom. It's constant pushing and moaning. For god's sake my wife think's i'm giving birth to a polar bear everytime I'm on the shitter. Woman: My colon is sore on a daily basis. The struggling is becoming a bit much. My boyfriend is thinking I'm having an affair because I always walk like a penguin. Child: My teacher gets mad at me almost ever day. I go to the bathroom try to shove one out, then when I come back to class 30 mins after excusing myself, she accuses me of delaying my bathroom privelages and when I try to sit at my desk it feels like I'm sitting on a staple gun. Grandparent: I haven't been able to take a normal shit since 1912! Is constipation ruining your life? Well come on down to Steve's Health And Treatment (S.H.A.T) today!! We have new suppositories that should clean you right up so you never have the struggles of taking a crap ever again! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gino's Pizzeria is having their Grand Opening this week until October 3rd . 50% off all menu items and free pool. Great for those munchies trips or if you just want to sit down and have a beer. Gino's Pizzeria is located in downtown Philly on the corner of S Juniper St and Chestnut St, just one block away from city hall. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Visit Angels Cake Store in Philly! They have the cake for any event! Just drop in and say Daze Craze sent you for your free Cake today! Hurry on down today! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- After the commercial ends the theme song begins to play.. Just turned on the radio, Listnin' to that 420 show They make us laugh and make us cry, Well listen to them until we die. The radio show is called Daze Craze The hosts are great cause they like to Blaze They're Armani and Buddah Bear. They give out money like they don't care So listen up and listen now We'll smoke our bowls and then we'll chow Once again here are your hosts, BuddahBear and Armani! Armani: Gino's Pizza aye? I might have to stop by and try some of there food. You know what Philly needs? A true Philly Cheesesteak joint. I've been lookin for one of those all over. BuddahBear: Yeah I've been there before great food. I couldn't agree with you more on the cheesesteak place. That does sound good right about now, that's for sure. Armani: Let's go ahead and skip to the next segment of out show.... What is it? Bad Advice hour? BuddahBear: Sounds good to me. Let's get it started! As Buddah's voice fades, a short motto is played over the air before cutting to Armani's voice Follow the advice, and end up dead, this is Daze Craze 420, our favorite color is red Armani: Alright folks, for those of you who don't know what this is, it's a little question and answer segment. You call in, ask the questions, and we give you the best advice we can think of.... Buddahs on drugs, so his advice will be horrible. I will be focused on myself, so needless to say my answers will be great. BuddahBear: Alright, let's take our first caller. Armani: Hello, and thank you for calling Daze Craze radio, what's on your mind? Shagggyd: Hi, this is Shagggyd from New York. What do I do if my LHM is sexually harassing random mafioso? Armani: Shall I take this one? BuddahBear: Sounds fine to me. Armani: Well Shagggs. It seems like you do have a bit of a problem. I mean, he is YOUR LHM. Why is he focused on other mafioso? Shouldn't he be your one true love? Well, from personal experience, I beleive you LHM isn't sexually harrasing anyone but himself. It's not sexual harrassment if they are willing..... Which they are... I swear. So anyways, my advice to you would be to promote him, Give him loads of money, and send loads of "Mail order bride" pamphlets to him. He might stop.... maybe. BuddahBear: Sounds like reasonable advice to me. Ok next caller Oompa_Loompa: Recently, whilst making my breakfast toast I had an unshakable urge to go out and commit mass atrocities the like of which have not been seen since biblical times. I violated, abused, tortured, raped, squeezed the toothpaste from the middle and left the toilet seat up. I just couldn't stop myself. It was then brought to my attention that this was not in fact, a superpower. So please tell me, how DO you get toast a nice golden brown colour? BuddahBear: Hmmm good question. You know I have often wondered that myself. My advice to you? Next time your toast is in the toaster, instead of waiting for it to pop up once reaching that golden brown stage, grab a fork and slide it down in there and pop it out. See if you can discover the reason behind it. I too am baffled by such wonders, when you figure it out give me a call back. Armani: Like I said, Buddah is gonna have some horrible advice. How about we take our next caller? Oompa_Loompa: Okay... "A very hairy friend of mine... its not me... has a lot of hair on his.... really its not me... on his rear end. Ahem. Would you recommend an extension to complete the effect, and to make a genuine pony tail, a combover to hide his unsightly butt cleavage, or an anal waxing?" Armani: First off, don't act like not's you. We know it is, Just becuase your an Oompa_Loompa doesn't mean you can't have unsightly hair. So, considering your options, I would not get extensions. You are just to short, any extensions you get would make you look like sasquatch. As for waxing? Not needed. Nobody wants to see an orange but anyways. That being said, I would suggest this. Go to a sore, and find skin colored leotards. (Make sure it has the penis hole, and maybe consider adding an extension) Now, this will pretty much be your new skin. Where it 24/7. Bathe in it. I promise, if you do this, you will A) Look fresh and clean & B) Look like sasquatch if you take it off. BuddahBear: Wow they called in twice, can we get someone other than a short person? Next caller your on the air. Marietta: I'm a gambling fiend and it's taking a toll on my bank account. Any advice on how to cut back? BuddahBear: Well i heard prostitution works wonders. I have tried it a few times myself, there is nothing like a few street corner visits to take your mind off of the slots or Blackjack tables. Once you get a stranger into that hotel room, sparks fly. It's like magic. Armani: Alright, who do we have next? Draven_Lynn: So recently the guy I am with seems to be a little busy. How can I regain his attention? Armani: There are plenty of ways to go about doing this. Have you tried breaking into his house and giving him a striptease? What about making love in the Boss's office? That's always worked for me. And if all of those fail, go buy some chocolate syrup, and have a pssionate all you can eat buffet. BuddahBear: Lets take the next caller. Maxie: I had a one night stand with a guy and sorta got knocked up. How can I make the guy pay child support? BuddahBear: Very good question. How about this, forget about that loser and get with the Bear? I'll knock you up no fucking problem. How will it help with your current situation? Well I have a pretty big gun. I think after a few drinks I can get him to pay up, that and for our future children I have a radio show to help procide the support the little ones need. So what ya say? Silence is all that is heard followed by the tone alerting the person on the other line is no longer there. BuddahBear: How rude! Armani: Alright, how about we take another call? Zebedee: What did people go back to before the drawing board was invented? Armani: Buddah can you take this one? BuddahBear: My pleasure. Well Zeb, I heard rock on rock slabs work perfectly. Just take a nice pointy rock, smack someone on the head a few times with it. The blood not only makes it lot nice once first applied but stains the rock as well for a more permanent look. If you need an example go out in your yard, grab a few rocks, go to your neighbors house and knock on the door. When they answer, ask them what that is behind them, and when they turn their back, smack them quickly in the head. make sure you do it hard enough so when they wake they have no rememberance of what happened. Then just find the larger flat rock and presto your own drawing board. They both laugh BuddahBear: Caller your on the air. Adam_Wall: My neighbors dog howls all night long and it wakes my wife up. She has asked me to take to our neighbors. I feel I should just shoot the mutt. What do you think? BuddahBear: I would recommend shooting it except for one little problem. Someone will here the gun shots therefore you risking being caught doing so. My recommendation? Antifreeze form your vehicle, it has a sweet smell that Animals adore and have a few slurps presto, problem solved. Just don't pour too much on the ground, our you'll wake up to a zoo of dead mammals laying scattered around your house. I hope that solves your problem. The line hangs up BuddahBear: Good day caller you on the air. Caller: I want to know why Daera has his own family... ranked Don and has not made one single thread for the community barring auth threads for captains? BuddahBear: Well that's not really a question I'm in position to answer, but my advice? Go meet with him and let him know exactly how you feel on the situation. He's a nice guy, word it exactly like you have in the phone call and I'm sure he'll have an answer for you immediately. Caller: So basically I tell him like I feel? Hmmm. Well tell me what you think, I just go up to him and ask, "If it wasn't for Iris backing you up, do you think you would of lasted this long considering you're a big gay mute?" BuddahBear: Yes, do that. I'm sure he'll give your your response immediately. The caller hangs up BuddahBear: Well that should be an interesting conversation. Anyways that wraps up the segment for today! On to commercial don't go anywhere. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Daze Craze Congratulates! Maxie on her promotion to Consig. Shadow on his Promotion to Boss. Your a great friend to the show, it's always an honor to see you grow Poetry at it's best! Illfated to his promotion to Boss. A few days late is better than never! BuddahBear on his Capo promotion! Adamine on his acheivements to capo.....before falling victim to stupidity. Rup Rup Congratulations on your promotion to Capo, Froggie. And no, we're not getting married Love, Marietta CarbolicSmokeBall on his rank to made man! It's been a few days but you still deserve the congrats! Daze Craze Thanks! BuddahBear: Thank you Caligula for giving me a home to succeed in. Without your protection none of this would be possible. Sponsors: Daera, Iris, Marietta, Branston, Caligula, Shagggyd, Shagggyd. Thank you all for everything. Without you all we wouldnt be able to make the show what it is today! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11? What's so special about the number 11? OH YEAH- ELEVENTH ISSUE OF TEA TIME OUT THIS TUESDAY! BE THERE OR BE A TOTAL LOSER ASS FACE. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ***Announcements From Fans*** MrsTm4Ever: I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PotheadBeer: Weed is the best!!!! BigFatWeedSack: All I have to say is, LISTEN TO DAZE CRAZE RADIO! DemonChild: BEER AND TITTTTTTTTIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! `Naamah`: BuddahBear sign my tits! Caim: Vroooooooooo VROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM Shadow: I like it when you call me BIG PAPPPPPAAAAA! Mania`: Daze Craze is the greatest. Ant hahahaha Count that bitch! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The commercials end followed by the the theme song Just turned on the radio, Listnin' to that 420 show They make us laugh and make us cry, Well listen to them until we die. The radio show is called Daze Craze The hosts are great cause they like to Blaze They're Armani and Buddah Bear. They give out money like they don't care So listen up and listen now We'll smoke our bowls and then we'll chow You hear a few noise then Armani's voice Armani: Damn Buddah, how did my dad do it? BuddahBear: It's a lot of work I know, but you'll get the hang of it I promise. Well, he had a little help..... Buddah points to the closet You hear the sound of a chair rolling, then a door opening. After a few footsteps you hear the sound of a perscription pill bottle rattling Armani: Hmmmm. I might have to give these a try.......... BuddahBear: YOU NIT-WIT!!!! WERE STILL ON THE AIR!!!!! All sounds vanish and you find youself smiling Want to be on the show? Just contact BuddahBear and Adamine for futher details. Also drop by #dazecraze to hang with the hosts and see how it works behind the scenes. REMINDER Competitions will be going on from now until the next airing. Enjoy!!!!! |
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Calls in and gets put on speakerphone by Buddah Keep it up guys! Also I can't wait for contest. Hangs up |
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| Reply by: Osiris at Sep 29, '08 18:20 | |
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Another great show Gents... Always happy to tune in and listen. Keep up the good work fellaz, cant wait for the next edition :) |
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| Reply by: Shadow at Sep 29, '08 18:24 | |
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| OMG!!! Loved the show you guys and can't wait for the competitions to come!! <333333 | |
| Reply by: MrsTM4ever at Sep 29, '08 18:31 | |
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| damn,didnt make it in the show:( but good show either way!!! | |
| Reply by: PotheadBear at Sep 29, '08 18:31 | |
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| Nice work, really enjoyed it | |
| Reply by: LilWayne at Sep 29, '08 18:33 | |
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| Best show ever.Keep it going.. | |
| Reply by: BigFatWeedSack at Sep 29, '08 18:42 | |
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Comments made about myself from BuddahBear.. I Strongly deny them! Good show once again, keep them coming guys! <3 |
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| Reply by: Llovehand at Sep 29, '08 18:52 | |
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| Lovin it guys! keep it going!! | |
| Reply by: Shagggyd at Sep 29, '08 19:43 | |
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Very good show as always! Armani, whatever you do dont let BuddahBear corrupt you! |
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| Reply by: Manny_Ribera at Sep 29, '08 20:30 | |
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| Greet show guys cant wait for the next episode. | |
| Reply by: IllFated at Sep 29, '08 23:05 | |
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NAME THAT MAFIOSO Where to begin? This shall me easy, so we are only offering a 100K prize. ****This person is a police officer. ****Is known to have a permanently glitch in game. ****At one time was a Crew Leader in the game ****Had a right hand man known as the-wolf GUESS AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE!!! |
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| Reply by: Armani at Sep 30, '08 01:03 | |
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| Is it Skulls! | |
| Reply by: DemonChild at Sep 30, '08 01:35 | |
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I think I know the Answer.... Ummm... damn forgot |
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| Reply by: StripheCorelli at Sep 30, '08 01:36 | |
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Hell I need 100k! Striphe 'The Fonz' Corelli!!! babby :p aka Striphe!! *currently in gambling rehab* |
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| Reply by: StripheCorelli at Sep 30, '08 01:38 | |
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Correct! Striphe is the answer were looking for. Gambling Rehab for Stripe: $250,000 2nd Gambling Rehab for Stripe: $200,000 Amount he's lost at the casino: Well over 20 Million. (I'm not kidding on this one) Seeing the look on his face after he looses all his cash: Priceless. |
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| Reply by: Armani at Sep 30, '08 01:40 | |
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| BOOOO that's not fair! LOL | |
| Reply by: DemonChild at Sep 30, '08 01:42 | |
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| Alfonzo | |
| Reply by: PsychoMantis at Sep 30, '08 01:48 | |
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| I agree with PsychoMantis! | |
| Reply by: DemonChild at Sep 30, '08 01:53 | |
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| That was easy and striphe cant answer! Cheater! lol | |
| Reply by: King_Cav at Sep 30, '08 02:37 | |
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