SquidMaser was walking around his city on a lovely afternoon. Strolling past a few newspaper stands he decides to occasionally pick one of the dramatic tabloids up and pay his quarter for each one he decides to indulge in..


While reading one of his writings he had picked up, he notices Godfather Phil_Steak wandering along aimlessly as if he hadn't been around the place in years. With a quick cracked smile he starts crossing the street on the crosswalk appropriately. Walking up to Phil from behind, SquidMaster taps his friend on the shoulder and begins laughing at him obviously bumbling around not knowing what to do or where to go at this point...


Phil! I have a limo across the street we can take around town, you seem like you could use a helping hand here man, I know where all the best places are around here. Let me show you a good time and we can enjoy the day the right way!


SquidMaster raises his pipe in hand as the limo begins to slide into the street and pull a U-turn along the curb to pick the two Godfathers up, quickly the chauffeur jumps out and snaps the back side door open for the gentlemen as they climb inside the extravagant vehicle...

Phil_Steak was still in Chicago, still celebrating the recent addition of SquidMaster as the Godfather of the city.
Phil thought to spend a few days in the city since he was here, as Chicago was somewhat of a 'Mecca' to this thing of ours.

Phil and Squid were in the same limo, being driven to the harbors. Squid was eager to show Phil his operations involving a newly acquired harbor, giving him access to ship in booze purchased from Atlantic City, through harbors in Michigan.

During their drive, Phil sees an image out of the window and whistles at the driver to stop the car. Phil and Squid exit the car and make their way towards a statue.

"The Statue of Bearderus? This bullshit statue is still up?" Phil asks shockingly, looking up at the 200 ft eye sore.

"This is a statue? I always thought it was a giant collection of bird shit..." Squid jokes... However it could very well have been true, considering the amount of bird shit on the thing.

"This is your city now Squid. This is your harbor.... Don't you have a front set up with a demolition company?"

Squid knew exactly what Phil was implying.

Waving his arm at a WiseGuy from the city, he starts demanding the man have the statue removed from his city at once, turning back to Godfather Phil_Steak, SquidMaster smiles and takes a toke off his grandfathered teak pipe... allowing the sweet stench to fumigate the area as a crowd of men coming bolting around the corner with tools and dynamite...


We might want to take a step back Godfather, we have a few maniacs among us that love an opportunity to just blow some shit all to hell if you know what I mean; we certainly don't need to have any bird shit on our fine suits you know.

Cracking a devilish smile as he and Phil_Steak take some cover behind a local food stand, they watch the men as they setup dynamite rigged to the statue, as pigeons and ravens begin flocking off in fright, they leave behind the last excrement the sad looking statue would ever have to endure again...

Lighting the fuse the fellow members of Chicago start bolting across the street to try and find cover in time. Alas, it was futile, covered from head to toe in bird poop and concrete shards, in shame the men walk back home for a hot shower and a shave.

SquidMaster raises his head to see the bird shit infested streets... turning to a local paper boy, he hands him a $50 to clean the streets around the bird shit; with one look the boy accepted and started the job immediately. Turning his attention to Phil_Steak, he asks..

So.. I think I will construct a bigger and better statue of my ravishing good looks, the tentacles will gleam in the sunshine so nicely, don't you think!?

It is as though you read my mind, friend.
The guy who designed the Statue of Liberty, Frederic Bartholdi. I am friends with a protege of his. He was just a child when he was being mentored by Frederic, but he does amazing work. He did all the pieces in The Sparkling Bunny.

Nobody would be able to capture your brilliance better than he would, not to mention, there is no doubt in my mind he has been aching for a project to exceed that of his mentors. Something bigger and better than any ting this world has yet to see. Something such as.... The Simulacrum of SquidMaster Memorial!

Scratching his tentacles and slowly taking another drag off his pipe, SquidMaster begins to walk towards to heaping piles of bird shit infested concrete, looking around as the boy is still moving as quickly as he can, SquidMaster turns to Phil and begins to chuckle as he begins taking out his checkbook..

Well well Godfather, you've always been one to use your innovative mind in a way that has always been best for others. I will gladly accept your gracious offer and have your artist meet us here for lunch today, we can build the marvelous masterpiece and have it put on display for everyone to see. I can only imagine how nice this will be for all Chicagoans. After all, like you say, that old statue was just absolutely an eye sore.

Passing his pipe to the Godfather of the Big Easy, SquidMaster turns and notices a man selling some sodas on the street corner, turning back to Phil, SquidMaster speaks...

Care for a soda while we wait for your artist, Godfather?

hil politely declines the pipe, pulling out a cigar from the inner pocket of his suit jacket.
He reaches into his pants pocket and takes out a platinum & diamond encrusted cigar cutter. He uses the cutter to cut the tip of the cigar. He then places it back into his pocket and takes out a match box.
He carefully extracts a single match from the box and strikes the match on the bald head of the bodyguard nearest too him. He takes the cigar to his mouth and uses the match to light it, puffing to get the cigar started.

"A pop sounds delightful, you charmer you. Let me go ahead and call Viener Bigili, the designer."

Phil heads towards a pay phone, reaching for his pocket for change. He inserts $.05 into the machine and begins to dial a number.

"Cassi? Hey, can you get Viener on a flight to Chicago? SquidMaster will be using his services and we need it immediately. Get him on my private plane please. Good good, thank you.
Oh.. where shall he meet us? Um..."

Phil turns towards SquidMaster, "Where should I have him driven to once he lands? Somewhere we can eat and discuss plans?"

Phil speaks back into the phone, "Have him meet us at Colosimo's, immediately. Thank you." 

Phil makes his way back to SquidMaster. SquidMaster extends a soda to Phil as they both walk off to the limo.

<< hours later >>

"Viener Bigili! Let me introduce you to the Godfather of Chicago, Godfather SquidMaster. I think you two can be equally beneficial to one another. He needs a statue to replace cement his influence and control of this city. Something big. Something powerful. Something larger than life. Something such as The Simulacrum of SquidMaster Memorial!"

 After extending handshakes and congratulations to SquidMaster, the three of them sit down at a large table, fitting for a family of 12, however only occupied by these three men. Ideas were bounced back and forth, as the designer created blue prints of statue larger than anything one could imagine. It would consist of tentacles that stretched all the way to the harbor itself. It would stand so high in the air, there would be three light towers required to make sure that no planes would be destroyed flying into this masterpiece. A pipe would stretch from its mouth, made out of pure gold. Pears would be harvested to make the cracked smile gleam. A pirate hat made of black granite.

"This is perfect!" Exclaimes SquidMaster. "It's as though I am looking in a mirror."

"It's exactly what this city needs, SquidMaster. This beauty will be a symbol of how strong and wealthy Chicago will be under your rule." 
 

After a few weeks of planning and building this masterpiece, SquidMaster is interrupted at his desk by Phil_Steak barreling into his office like a bat out of hell stumbling over his own words...

Y-Y-You have to come quick they finished the Statue! Exclaims Phil_Steak

With his jacket already fastened tightly, SquidMaster bolts out of his office with Godfather Phil_Steak to go see the unveiling of the masterpiece that will oversee the Windy City... upon approaching the statue covered in a very long purple silk sheet, the designer; viener, steps forward with a smile from ear to ear...

"Godfather SquidMaster, it's with my pleasure to present you with the unveiling of your truly legendary memorial..."

The designer signals for a couple workers to begin pulling down the sheet from the tip of the statue... as the purple silk glistens off the sun as it falls down the enormous statue, Squid notices the sun bounce off the black granite from the hat and quickly blind himself off the golden pipe in the mouth of the true SquidMaster... with his jaw simply lowered to the floor with such extravagance, SquidMaster also takes notice of the elongated tentacles and death cracking smile... at the bottom lay the dates of entry into the city for the Buccaneers, with a tear rolling down his cheek he claps his hands on the Vieners and Godfather Phil_Steaks shoulder..

Such detail and artistic ability! I must say, this is a HUGE step up from that old heaping pile of bird shit that lay before this... I must say, I really think the people of Chicago will enjoy having something around that doesn't hurt the eyes, I think I will even call a meeting with the families of the Windy City and order a national peace day in Chicago to commemorate this day of excellence, thank you both!

Lighting his pipe up as he looks up at the golden pipe that lay before him, SquidMaster turns and pulls a confused face...

So Godfather Phil_Steak, you'll buy my memorial a golden pipe but not me? Oh we need to change this outcome very quickly my old friend!

Donbot was in Chicago on business, he was trying to find Tyrion some pants and that was no easy task. It had taken him across Michigan from his beloved Detroit, where there was a notorious shortage of children's pants, into the warm tentacles of Chicago.

He saw a small crowd gathered and a few rather distinguished faces in their mist. He noticed someone signaling to some of the workers to begin pulling down a purple silk sheet that was draped over an enormous structure. As the purple silk glistened in the sun as it fell down to the earth, Donbot knew this would be the perfect fabric from which to fashion Tyrion some trousers. He nimbly trotted over to the fallen sheet, removed his pocket scissors and made a series of precise cuts quickly acquiring the material needed to get his boss what he craved most, some snazzy breeches.

"Perfect" Donbot said to himself as he folded the material up and stuffed it into his pocket. "Tyrion is going to be thrilled!"

smiles as seeing her long time friend reach to the top after all his hard work

Congrats Boss! We have gone down a long road to get here but proud and happy to say that we have made it!

throws sporks up in the air like confetti before running off to go get her Professor Chaos costume on