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Dishonorable Discharge Funeral Started by: TheSpacePope on Oct 01, '08 19:04
I thought it would be cool to have a different funerary setting for those suffering a Dishonorable Discharge. As it appears now we are all buried in the same cemetary after a viewing in the same church, but we all know that some of these "Discharges" dont deserve that good a send off.


I'll even write a few suggestions if this idea is worth anything.
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I like this idea, oh reverent one. We all(well i speak for the public, because i assume,) get sick of reading the same old thing at funerals. Actually, I'm sure people wouldn't even notice the change at first because we're so used to skimming it over.
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Oh, I'd make 'em notice. When God (read The Space Pope) speaks - bitches listen.
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Sure, come up with a replacement (not too harsh though) and I'll pop it in.
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You're my daddy.
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I am all for this!


"We are gathered here today to give one more punch in the nuts to Douchebag A for being a complete and total wanker... yet again."


Go for it.
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Heres the first 3 I pulled from my Papal ass last night. I'll try and get a couple more suggested tonight or tomorrow.


FUNERAL #1


You sit quietly in your room reading a newspaper and listening to the quiet rain beat itself against your window. The city streets are devoid of life at this hour and all is as still as a forest.


You turn the page of your newspaper and notice a small article with the name you recognize.

*INSERT NAME HERE* was tried and found guilty of crimes against the states of California, Nevada, Michigan, Louisiana, Illinois, Pennsilvania, and New York. He was sentenced to death to be carried out immediately.


You look at your clock just as it strikes 12 midnights and are slightly surprised when the lights of the city flicker for a brief instant.


You shake your head slightly and turn the page again.


The streetlights continue to burn and life for everyone else goes on with no memory of *INSERT NAME HERE*


FUNERAL #2


You enter the church in reverence to pay your last respects to *INSERT NAME HERE*, but are surprised to see no sign of the funeral. A handful of faithful worshippers pray.


You approach Father Masi and ask about the services you expected to find, but he merely shrugs his shoulders and informs you that nothing was scheduled for today. The priest nods to you and politely expresses his sympathy for your fallen comrade before excusing himself to continue his task of shepherding his flock.


Feeling confused you exit the church and return to business as normal while at the bottom of the river the bloated face of *INSERT NAME HERE* stares blankly away into the murky nothingness as the world around him forgets he was ever there.


FUNERAL #3


Having been found guilty of crimes against The Families *INSERT NAME HERE* was struck down by the hands of the Admins. After being turned into a pillar of ash the winds carried the remains off into obscurity forever.
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Obviously they are NOT proofread and will require some tweaks.
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I like the second version from The Pope.


LET IT BE!
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Hah, #1 was quite amsuing. Good job, TSP.
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I agree I like the first one.
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Ok, number one is climbing. What did you like about it? Personally I like the idea that these chickenfuckers are destined for obscurity. Inglorious death among people who really dont care that they were there and wont notice them gone.


Im not sure how happy I am with these and I know i can do better. Tell me the sort of stuff you'd like to see and I'll see if I can weave it into a few better suggestions.
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I'm a huge fan of #2. Good work!
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I'll rework number 2. that's my favorite so far and I'll make it my official suggestion
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The admins seem to be cranking out game improvements at a fantastic rate these days. From what I remember game improvements didn't seem to be so common in the time this thread was created. Maybe I'm mistaken or maybe they were bigger changes that needed more time but my point is this: This sounds like an interesting idea to illustrate the consequences of disobeying the rules of the game. The folks above seemed to think this was a good idea and I wonder if anyone feels the same in today's fast-evolving game.

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Here is one:

You stand across the river, staring at the body float down-river. Guns go off in a celebratory fashion as all the mafioso (insert name here) is sent to his final resting place- a nice sleepy-time with the fishes.

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A funeral for the dishonored? Lets see if I can put to words the one I saw not long ago.

You stand in the crowd as they bring him out still pleading for his life. "I didn't mean anything by it man, you gotta believe me!" He looks around fast as he realizes many mafioso are in attendence. Too late he sees the large goons close in on him. "Hey man, don't, leave me alone!" Your own heart begins to beat faster as they pick him up. Suddenly he notices the perferrated oil drum, he tries to fight back now, realizing his fate. "No, not that way, just shoot me man, not this!" The last word rises to a scream, your breath quickens, nearly panting. He is not worthy of a bullet, you cannot take your eyes off the dishonorable man. He begins to cry as they shove him in the drum. "No, please, no." he whimpers as your hands begin to shake. He can't stop them pushing the lid down and then they latch it in place. The can is pushed over on its side and a forklift scoops it up, tilting it back as it raises the drum in the air. You can see the drum rocking, his last crazed attempt to escape. You can imagine him seeing the drum fall to the ground and bust open in his mind, so he can run like the wind and never look back. You know he would, because you would. His screams begin again, desperate, pleading, and futile. The forklift stops and the forks tilt forward, you can still hear him scream as the drum splashes into the river and sinks out of sight.

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i'm a fan of thespacepopes first one. it's a nice touch.

my second choice would be the last one suggested.

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