Ladies, won't you please make a point to stop by my new shop, opening tomorrow in the Chicago Business District. It's "The Glass Slipper", a unique women's footwear store where I create a win-win customer experience for both your fine selves and my own fine-ass self as well.

My store offers high-end fashionable footwear, available in sexy high heel or standard flat, depending on your preference or level of eloquence. No charge, feel free to find a size and comfort to your liking and take them home with you. Only catch is I would like them returned within a week's time, so that I may sniff/sip my white wine from them after you've trodded around in them for a few days. No need to clean them prior to returning.

And don't be shy if your feet perspire, baby. BlackSuperman doesn't mind a moderate element of smelliness, so long as your feet are adequately pedicured and not nasty. No toe jam please.

After the return exchange is complete feel free to stick around for a well-deserved relaxation session. We can keep each other warm by the fireplace while we sip fine Chardonnay from the footwear you've beared the elements in all week. Or we can drink from somebody else's shoe, if that's your thing. BlackSuperman doesn't judge and BlackSuperman doesn't tell.

So come pay me a visit at "The Glass Slipper" next time you're in Chicago, where every lady is treated like Cinderella at the ball.

At this point, the streets are abuzz with chatter about the new business. Long lines of women eagar for pedicures immediately begin to form outside nearby salons in anticipation of the The Glass Slipper's grand opening. BlackSuperman gives a nod and a smile to the ladies standing in line before taking off to fight and commit crime as one of them calls out to him excitedly...

"Ooooooo, you are a FREAK, BlackSuperman!"

Pimp hand strong.

I, for one, await this grand opening with anticipation and a nice bottle of full-bodied red.

It would be a shame to deny you the delight of my dainty feet, BlackSuperman.

GoldenGun puffing on a very fine cuban cigar turns towards Lilac Delaney

I must say, this should be a jolly good show.

GoldenGun points towards a pair of very high heels in red with gold trimming.

Those are mine, no touchie!

CASH_MONEY was cruising the streets for, well, some cash money. She had found a few pennies in a drain pipe, popped a nickel off a homeless guy, stole three dollars from an old lady after beating her up with her own purse and clipped two dimes and a roll from a bakery. Now, she found herself in front of BlackSuperman. The man, the superman, was announcing to the crowd of his newest business.

A business indeed it was. Shoe sipping, shoe snuggling, shoe taking advantage of. Those poor shoes! No jam. They'd never be able to live a true life, never have the chance to be smothered in grape, strawberry or even apricot jam. CASH_MONEY shook her head in shame. Though, it wasn't really her problem and she quickly moved on to more important things. That bling bling. She addressed BlackSuperman.

I understand that you wouldn't charge me for the shoes, but can I charge you for the service I bring to you? This shoe sniffing, wine drinking, foot fetish phenomenon has been around for awhile. It's just usually been done behind closed doors. I actually have a man I prance around wearing shoes for and sell them to him at the end of the week. I'd be more than willing to switch my foot protection practices over to you, but I'll need my prancing around town will need to be worth my time.

CASH_MONEY looked over at GoldenGun and LilacDelaney, it seemed she was always running into the two. Were they stalking her?