Friends, it is with relish and panache that I come out here, to these Streets, or my relatives do, anyway, and reveal, to you, the peon masses, what's really happening.

Your lack of insight into the daily doings, coupled with my wit and intelligence, makes for a heady stew of the stupid being taught what's going on.

So imagine my surprise when it appears that, for once, the Kuklinski bloodline knows absolutely fuck all about who placed the hits or why.

But what is interesting is that they are very, very low value hits.  Yet they have not been bought off.

It is clear that they have not been bought of because the bosses of the families where the wouldbe hit reside don't care about them.

If one casts their mind back to another time, an incompetant leader of a city treated his family with similar contempt.  Prem spent all his cash on his own BGs, giving his subordinates nothing.  This led to them being slaughtered.

So, it is the considered opinion of your intellectual superior that these hits are a prelude to some deaths, perhaps not of those on the hitlist, but deaths will follow.  That these deaths aren't related to the hitlist will be seized upon as an accusation of happenstance - that's to be expected, and I make no apology for coincidence.  But I urge you to put these feelings of inferiority to one side and try to learn.

Nobody would risk their own lives for such pittance and the hit lasts for 24 hours. There's your answer as to why they're still there.

Now.. shoo!

Insightful.

Upon one of her many joyous jaunts around the Streets, Lilac's otherwise peaceful day of robbing and holding Durdens at gunpoint was suddenly interrupted by the voice of a strangeling.

She stopped mid-step, allowing her eyes to follow the sound and finally rest on the man. As she observed the audience (which consisted primarily of a three-legged stray dog attempting to piss against a wall, but failing), she chewed at a hangnail and wondered what this most peculiar sensation was building in her sinuses. Was it a headache? No...Not quite. She watched as the man continued his rant - something about being an intellectual superior? - wondering still as pressure mounted above the bridge of her nose. After a few moments, she glanced at the hangnail, strategising how best to bite it off without causing it to bleed; the problem was, blood was already dripping off her finger.

Shit!, she muttered, realising that the blood was actually coming from her nose and making a tragedy of her best white blouse. Scurrying off to her luxurious penthouse apartment in order to be bathed and dressed by her bodyguards, she realised she hadn't listened to a word that man had said. Then again, neither had anyone else; his voice had bounced off the walls of decrepid old buildings in an empty echo.

Turning to face Lilac, KUKU recognised the person in standing there.  A flicker crepy across his face.  His grandfather had had her grandmother killed.  Humiliated a few more of her relatives.

He smiled.  At peace now, he went over to another street speaker to offer some advice.

I'll say it for the sake of it, but I know others may still feel the need to respond...

Let the idiot rant. Ignore him. None of us actually care what he has to say as its never insightful and rarely even close to the truth, so why bother with him?

At least for once he admitted he hasn't a clue whats going on. Though funnily, that makes me feel one of his alter ego's (Dupe accounts) placed the hits and he wants to try and create unrest where none exists.

Still, its nice to know that Kuku has nothing better to do than waste his time.

God has spoken.

I shall retract the claim of alter ego's, and simply leave it that he has friends who pretend to be of his bloodline.

I, for one, am grateful that someone of such superior intellect sees fit to grace us peons with His presence and impart upon us His infinite wisdom.

Why does everyone get so upset when KUKU speaks? I look forward to seeing his thoughts in the streets. Nobody and I mean NOBODY gives these streets more life than this man does. KUKU, i have alto of respect for you my dude. LONG LIVE KUKU!!!!!!!!!

Thank you to the Gods for clarifying my continuing dignity and moral correctness.

It is true that the Kuklinski bloodline has contained no "dupes", despite being accused of such crimes many times.  It is also true that members of this esteemed bloodline have, at times, been struck down by the Gods.  Later events showed that the God perhaps were not in possession of all the facts.  But these things happen and this bloodline contains not a drop of bitter blood.

So it is that we get to today - a bizarre situation in which imitators claim to be relatives of mine.

They aren't. 

Ok, ok, I admit it.

I put the hits on myself to seem more popular.

Clearly it backfired as there’s now several people queuing up to claim the reward. I also put the screw in the tuna.

I’m that kind of guy.

So it was you Chuck who put the screw in the Tuna.

Whyyy for the love of God Whyyyy would you do such a thing?????

Nobody put a screw in the tuna.

This is a code - there will be deaths.

Ok I admit that as well. There is no screw, there never was a screw, the screw is a lie.

I did however kill Mufasa, so in many ways I deserve to be on the hitlist.

I'm sure whoever eats that screw will be dead...

Baaahhhhd men did this! Baaaahhhfore you jump to conclusions you should baaaaahrace yourselves for an onslaught of baaahhhd puns.

Baaahhhcause of those hits im sure we will baaaahlame someone eventually.

Calling the New York crew leaders incompetent? Strong words for a thug. Sorry to bust your bubble, but not responding to these hits is the best decision. It’s just some lost soul trying to stir the pot. Wait, to think about it, you definitely have something in common with the person who’s making these anonymous hits.

Are you related?

So I guess the class action lawsuit we have against the tuna company is screwed? It really wasn't bad tuna... I just wish they put less mayo in the tuna salad etc.