| Oct 19 - 01:55:20 |
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| Sexual Harassment Lawsuit | Started by: Briana_Arao on Oct 08, '08 16:01 |
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I am looking to hire a lawyer in order to file a sexual harassment lawsuit against IzzyCreamcheese AKA Squishy AKA Mr. Grab-Hands AKA Dong King AKA Lord Cumsalot AKA SmegMaster. Mr. Creamcheese called me up and ordered the "Midnight Special" which included my companionship for a lovely night on the town and my services as an escort for the evening. During the evening, Mr. Creamcheese repeatedly smacked my ass and called me "Shirley," which is clearly not my name. I am looking to file suit against Mr. Creamcheese for sexually defiling my and insulting me through the use of someone else's name during both the evening AND subsequent fornication. In addition, I am still waiting for the money he should have paid me for my services. I am looking for restitution in the sum of $20,000,000 and will not settle for a penny less. Please contact me if you are interested. Thank you. |
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Hi enters the room and slams his briefcase down on the table. He takes a seat and speaks to the lascivious young woman Ms. Arao, I would be happy to look over the merits of your case. The consultation is free, and from there I will decide if I will take the case. Let me be as forthcoming as possible. Your case does not look good from the outset. An infallible defense to any charge of a sexual harassment tort is that the conduct was welcomed by the alleged victim. Ms. Arao, we have seen your behavior in the streets. You have sent out many open invitations to be ravaged by men, women, and beasts. Of course, this fact does not give license to the conduct of Mr Creamcheese, if you made it clear that his advances were unwelcome, but it will be a tough case to prove, and the burden of proof is on yourself. You will be starting out with low credibility. Feel free to send me specific details of the facts of this case and a timeline of events. If your case has merit, I will attempt to reach a settlement with Mr. Creamcheese. You may have to be flexible with the compensatory damages, however. Yours Truly, Hi Attorney at Law |
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| Reply by: Hi at Oct 08, '08 16:09 | |
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Unfortunately I have been expelled from the bar. However, I'd more than happily stand up as a witness to any forthcoming prosecution. The things he did to me under the pretence of 'playing leapfrog'.......... .......I...I can not speak of it in public! |
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| Reply by: Superjerk at Oct 08, '08 16:11 | |
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Attorney at Law and that baby's only days old?! What an accomplishment! God, that gene pool is FANTASTIC! |
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| Reply by: Marietta at Oct 08, '08 16:12 | |
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