Sweeney and Mr. Albert sat in the desk once of his previous ancestors sat in. Many generations of Sweeney’s and Mr. Albert’s have passed through this desk. Many memories including the once and great Mom News…er…I mean Mom…er..Mob News. Sweeney sits down on the chair and feels upon the wooden desk with his fingertips. So many empty promises from the others. So many bad publications from my fore fathers. No more. Time to set up the new standard of Mob News into the Mafia Streets. Mr. Albert jumps up to the desk and looks at the old typewriter once used by many Sweeney’s. Mr. Sweeney takes the typewriter and pulls it up. He sits back and takes a drink of his Mtn Dew. A drink of Sweeney’s he likes to think of. Pulls out a cigarette from his pack, lighting the tip and inhales. Begins a French inhale of the smoke, letting it blow out, watching the smoke fly in a dance. He sits uptight and begins writing the ultimate return of Mob/Mom News:

Mob News or Mom News Return

Thus return of the once and great….er..that’s a little much. The return of the paper, Mob News. As a little incident in the publication of Mr. Pickles paper, I thought that I should bring back the light of Mob News. I miss the feedback I used to hear from my fore fathers’ paper. Some good, mostly bad. Did they care? Nope. Neither will I. Mob News is back and hopefully to stay. No promises. I’ll try my best. Laziness is in my genes, I’ll admit. From the blessing of G.O.O.D Music I have decided to bring back this publication. Hoping to actually keep something up in my life and not wasting it away in the Business District. (Which you should go to, it’s a nice place to go to meet and greet. So…go….do it…DO IT!) But, anyways I just like to have the warning of this paper come back to the public than just a sudden surprise from the shadows. Paper may last one issue. May last many. Depends of the unknowing future.

Help Wanted:

Interviewer: A person to go out and get the word on the people. From the low lifes. Yes, you KHAOS. To the bosses of the world. Yes, even you Phil_Steak.

May need more in the future. But, for now all I need is an Interviewer. Very bad when it comes to that type of ordeal. Please leave an application on my desk. Thank you.

Fund:

Mr. Albert and I love dru….money. Send all your (Drugs) and money towards me. I’ll greatly appreciate it. And, your name will always be listed in the paper. Promise….I PROMISE! That’s all: Didn’t really have that much to talk about, just wanted to get the word out and leave a little commotion to the streets. Hate it or love it. Mob News will come out this weekend. Providing all the news the past week. Have a nice day. And, don’t do anything dumb.

HAVE A GREAT DAY!!!!

Aves is overtaken by a wicked grin as he clips out a portion of this week's Mom News.  He carries it to his desk, removes an envelope from a loud wooden drawer, shakes his pen and begins to write.

Dear Mr. Sweeny,

I was moved by your generous offer.  I would like to take you up on this.  Nothing would give me more pleasure than to have my name listed in your illustrious publication as a benefactor.

Sincerely,

Aves

He gives his clipping one last glance and underlines a word for emphasis:

"Send all your (Drugs) and money towards me. I’ll greatly appreciate it. And, your name will always be listed in the paper. Promise….I PROMISE!"

He stuffs if into the envelope along with the note and the receipt from his accountant:

"Dec 05, '12 00:38 Your accountant has made payment of $1 to Mr_Sweeney."

On his way to the mailbox, he's overtaken by a deep depression when he realizes that this is the most interesting thing he's done all day.

KHAOS gets a wiff in the air, that lazy bastard Sweeney most be about. Heading down the street he sees Sweeney ranting about his mob news crap again spouting the 985th return of his GREAT,GREAT,GREAT,GREAT grandpappys toilet work.

"So when will get interviewd you sorry sob?!"

Sweeney comes from the shawdos and slaps KHAOS in the head.

SPEAK RIGHT, YOU ILLITERATE FUCK! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOUR QUESTION!

What's a shawdo?

And Illiterate means he can't read, not that he can't speak.

Vegeta cackles

Well at least, he's potty trained. That's all I can say about this matter.

I may be illiterate but i still seen you sucking on a flubber nugget in that alley!