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| Sad State of Affairs | Started by: VagInATube on Oct 10, '08 08:36 |
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There is nothing I enjoy more than settling down to a quiet session of listening to the grapevine. While this may be construed as the behaviour of a nasty gossip, I see it as essential intelligence gathering. As recently as the beginning of this week, I heard the most ridiculous snippet of information ever. What is better still is that it is pertinent to me. Don't get me wrong though, I take everything I hear with a pinch of salt until it can be investigated further and corroborated. In this case it has been. "Tell us already!" I hear you cry, so I shall. Apparently there are certain individuals, who shall remain nameless, that refuse to utter my name or even write it down. Could it be the case that a simple name alluding to a female body part encased within a plastic receptacle is abhorrent to some? Now while amusing to the point of incontinence on one hand, it is also a little frightening that some people are so devoid of humour that they can get themselves into such a cute little tizzy over nothing. A man cannot dictate what his peers nickname him. It just so happens that I have been labeled with a most unfortunate moniker. The story behind that is best left for another time however. Suffice to say people died in a most cruel and unusual manner. Can anyone with an above lukewarm IQ really be offended by a nickname like my own? An inanimate object used for ones own private pleasure is an inherently positive device which promotes self discovery. It is also just good, clean, harmless fun. The fact that it is not phallic or rigid in nature does not make it any more offensive or taboo. A rubbery facsimile of a natural feature of female human anatomy cannot even be an issue for the feminist community either. The item is not a device applied by the male rulers of the world to keep the fairer sex down. I promise you this. Just to clarify, I am not a feminist hating man devil. Some of my best pieces of ass are feminists. As a final concluding point on the issue of offence, if someone happened to go by the name of MouldedPlasticPenis, I would not cry my pretty eyes out about it. I shall now attempt to inject some sunshine into the poor unfortunates' cold black hearts. I think this will be a therapeutic way of overcoming the ridiculous crutch of being unable to say my name. Initially I was going to achieve this noble goal through a short, uplifting poem but due to effort constraints I will be pursuing a different angle. The treatment is quite simple and intuitive. Sidle a little closer and listen very carefully my friends. I won't discharge on you honest. If we are all sitting comfortably then I shall begin. Lighten the fuck up. Reread the last sentence aloud seven or eight times then attempt to say my name. Make sure you record this process and send it to me for analysis. Be sure to include an explicit apology at the very end of the tape. Thank you in advance. Kind Regards, VagInATube |
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"Sidle a little closer and listen very carefully my friends. I won't discharge on you honest." hahaha! Quality. I have no problems with a persons name, we've come across much worse I'm pretty sure of that so I don't quite get what the big deal is, if there is one. Personally myself I've heard no complaints but who knows what people like to talk about in their private meetings. The way I see it, it's an amusing name and if you can pull it off with humourous talk then it should be fine. If you went around talking like a stiff all the time, I might have thought what a dick...cunt (whatevs). You have the skunks approval! :) |
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| Reply by: PepeLePew at Oct 10, '08 09:04 | |
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Zoey ran up to VagInATube and hugged him tight to cheer him up. I can't believe some people have a problem saying your name. You have given pleasure to so many. You have put a smile on the faces of many. You are like sunshine on a cloudy day. You must continue doing what you were put on this planet to do. Make people happy. Ignore the haters. Turn that frown upside down, my friend. |
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| Reply by: Zoey at Oct 10, '08 13:09 | |
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| With the repetitive thoughts of the single word that has gotten people wondering...VagInATube...VagInATube...VagInATube...VagInATube...VagInATube...VagInATube...VagInATube...hmmmm nope no reaction. As I thought in the first place, I kinda like the sound of it. | |
| Reply by: Mo_Shaik at Oct 10, '08 13:21 | |
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Sc0pe stands up and snuffs the cigarette he had just finished out on the sidewalk. All this time I thought your name was to make fun of my alone time, but it really is more than meets the eye. The trechory behind this upsets me, well played sir, well played. Also I don't judge a man by his name, but by how he represents his family name. Sc0pe notices VagInATube is a Boss for The Riot! I know you didn't buy that rank, I believe any man that can go that far with a name especially like that deserves more respect than ordinary. |
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| Reply by: Sc0pe_D0pe at Oct 10, '08 13:31 | |
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My ancestors actually remember when you were born into this world, as one of them spoke to you I believe you mentioned that you seemed to be roaming around with the minimum of fuss or 'It hasn't had the effect I had quite expected it to', or words to that effect. But now, as one looks at you gaining stature and graduer there seems to be complaints about what your parents named you. How sad indeed. Still believe you are holder of best names I have seen to raom these here streets. Cant be ass kissing as...well.. you dont have one to kiss. |
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| Reply by: yermaw2 at Oct 10, '08 13:37 | |
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It really is sad that there are certain individuals that find your name a problem, especially since they feel it's alright to go out and rob poor defenseless little old ladies, hold up liqour and convinience stores. In fact I find it down right ridiculous, were are make money frm dealing in drugs, for all we know these drugs wind up in the hands of kids, who knows how many OD's have come from the drugs we shift, yet a name can cause some discomfort... To me a name is a name, if someone is going to think about it that much that it offends them, then they really do have too much time on their hands and I'm sure they have more important things to be worrying about. |
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| Reply by: Dante_Balboni at Oct 10, '08 14:07 | |
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What can I say? In this life of ours we will always find all sorts of cats... the serious type, the joker, the whiner... Personally I think they should worry about more important things.... like keeping the boss alive or making money for the family. Some people are just not focused on what they are doing. Keep doing what you doing. BigBoss takes out his gun and proceeds on finding inactives... |
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| Reply by: BigBoss at Oct 10, '08 17:35 | |
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| Yermaw, there seems to be a disparity between what you think I hoped to accomplish by this speech and what it actually is. At it's very core, this is a piece of sheer and utter satire aimed at the silly people who I have managed to offend. I am more than delighted by such a reaction because once again my social experiment has proved to be worthwhile. | |
| Reply by: VagInATube at Oct 12, '08 13:18 | |
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Oops protests around the streets holding his home-made sign in both hands held high above his head
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| Reply by: Oops at Oct 12, '08 13:54 | |
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There was a time, many many many moons ago that people with a name like yours would have been shot on sight for lowering the tone of what we aspire to be. Ridiculous names present newcomers to our shores with a decidedly un-mafia-esque (for lack of a better phrase) impression of our world. Sadly these times have passed. Your name is no worse than so many we have seen over the last few months, so why the revulsion toward yours more than any of the others? No idea. I do long for those days gone by when we held ourselves to that higher standard. Given that we no longer do, I can't see why your name is any further 'over the line' than any others. |
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| Reply by: BigSteve at Oct 16, '08 08:46 | |
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"Ridiculous names present newcomers to our shores with a decidedly un-mafia-esque (for lack of a better phrase) impression of our world." I arguably have an un-mafieesque name, yet you'll never see me as a rich man, for I donate nearly everything I earn to the Boss, which is more than can be said for a lot of the more traditionally named mobsters. You'll also never see me talking to anyone not in my family about drugs, jailbreaks, wacking, anything pertaining to this way of life. This is because I understand the fundamental concept of omerta much more than many other traditionally named mobsters. I could go on, but my point is thus; making wholesale judgements, even discriminations perhaps, is never a good idea. Each instance should be dealt with on it's own merits. |
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| Reply by: LordofBiscuitTins at Oct 16, '08 10:01 | |
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Would you be any less of a Mafioso if you had a more traditional name? Of course not, given all you say, the sole thing which is potentially letting you down is the first impression you give to people who don't know you. To be honest, this ship has sailed. The 'ridiculous name debate' was had and lost a long time ago. |
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| Reply by: BigSteve at Oct 16, '08 10:28 | |
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Would I be any more of a mobster with a more traditional name? I could let you in on a secret. I could tell you my name is Alphonse Serafini. I used to get called Al for a few years, before I jacked a lorry full of biscuit tins, that made me my name in our way of life, and so I adapted this moniker. Or perhaps me and other like minded folk are just waging the war on conformity? Either way, you reference the ridiculous name debate being lost long ago. How long? Evidentally before the time Dick_Gozinya and Cacciatoressa were leaders. Clearly before the time when Bukkake and Golden_Showers were Made Men in our community. Going back further, much much further, I certainly remember a leader who had a name professing how sluts rule. There has never been a period where traditional names ruled the coop, and where every single unusual (ridiculous) name was shot on sight. To suggest otherwise is rose tinted vision at its very worst. |
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| Reply by: LordofBiscuitTins at Oct 16, '08 10:41 | |
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Dick_Gozinya used to promote people to Made Man by having sex with them in the streets. Maybe crude names are not the way to go. Operating systems or numbers have always demonstrated the standard for which to strive. |
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| Reply by: WindowsVista at Oct 16, '08 12:29 | |
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To be fair tho WindowsVista, that was a Made Man ceremony few people who saw it forgot in a hurry. I was not fortunate enough to catch a glimpse at the aforementioned 'Coming (easy now) of Age Ceremony' but the thought of it turned my knees to jelly and my pants to watercress. I long for the days when Made Wo/Men were put through their paces, quite literally, in the streets. Bring it back. It's what we all want. |
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| Reply by: MSDOS at Oct 16, '08 15:00 | |
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*ponders what you all think about this name http://mafiareturns.com/news/uprofile.php?id=44925 |
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| Reply by: GaiusMarius at Oct 16, '08 18:31 | |
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Listens to the opinions of everyone, slowing dragging on his cigarette before his turn to speak I believe that the late Sc0pe_d0pe was exactly right. You simply cannot judge a person just my there name. Look at some of the other people in history. SlutsRule_3. My family worked under him back in the day. His hame had a taboo word in it, but he was no less of a man for it. Or tha_husla, gave us some fantastic quotes. But his name could have been taken a derogatory. It's all about knowing the person, not associating them with a stigma before you get the personality. |
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| Reply by: Guerrilla at Oct 17, '08 01:47 | |
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| Then there's Zeb, Pickles, Tie, and myself of course. Not normal, abnormal names. | |
| Reply by: Ocelots-Griblit at Oct 18, '08 05:16 | |
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