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Pickles Presents Mafia Christmas Carols | Started by: Dread_Pirate_Pickles on Dec 22, '12 00:46 |
Pickles walks into the streets filled with yuletide joy (or is it bourbon and eggnog?). He looks around at all the traffic, then quickly steps back onto the sidewalk. He opens up his crate labeled 47 Enterprises ©®™ Insta-Gazebo and starts construction. CashMoneyMillionaire starts decorating with garland and evergreen branches. Lovey lights some candles, and Captious mugs an orphan for her own amusement.
Ladies, Gentlemen, Lilacs and Donbots! It’s Christmas time everyone, and I want to share in the spirit by having a good old fashioned Christmas Carol sing along! So, pour yourself a mug of hot chocolate, meet your best girl under the mistletoe (remember they usually prefer when you pay up front), and sing along if you know the words.
The rest of the NORCo crew stands behind Pickles festooned (yeah, I said festooned) in choir robes and they begin to sing . . .
Jingle bells, Phil Steak smells,
Vaticus laid an egg.
The NORCoMobile lost a wheel
And the MIA got awayyyyyyyyyyy.
Silent night! Holy night!
All is calm all is bright
‘Till the Durdens start to run wild
Shoot them all, man, woman, and child
Sleeping with the fishes!
Sleeping with the fishes!
Deck the halls with gasonline,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Torch a business and watch it gleam,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Bribe the cops and sell some drugs,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Run away, don’t trip on thugs,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Oh the Calamari Times is frightful,
But the Tabloid News is so delightful,
And since there’s nothing else to see,
Let ‘em read! Let ‘em read! Let ‘em read!
On the twelfth day of Christmas,
my Godfather sent to me
Twelve Durdens dying,
Eleven depots raided,
Ten gangsters gunning,
Nine ladies dancing (nothing to change here, folks),
Eight Earners earning,
Seven schlubs shafted,
Six purses pilfered,
Five bodyguaaaaarrrrrdddddssss,
Four call girls,
Three jail breaks,
Two Durden maps,
And a partridge in a pear tree!
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. You’ve been a great crowd tonight. Merry Christmas, and may God bless us, everyone.
Pickles starts to walk away, stops, and turns around
And one good old fashioned BAH HUMBUG! |
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Classic Pickles. |
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Reply by: Vegeta at Dec 22, '12 00:52 | |
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Fucking kid shouldn't have been in my pockets without returning! I was totally nice though, I mean, I didn't even set him on fire as advertised! |
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Reply by: Captious3 at Dec 22, '12 01:00 | |
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"And a partridge in a pear tree!" Change too... And a big fat I.W.P! |
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Reply by: VinceNoir at Dec 22, '12 19:17 | |
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What is this 'Calamari Times' I keep hearing about? I haven't read it and I'd like to slap the editor for pilfering the name of The Calamari. |
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Reply by: LilacDelaney at Dec 22, '12 19:17 | |
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This got me laughing, keep up the good work sir. |
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Reply by: Built2Destroy at Dec 22, '12 19:42 | |
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This got me laughing good one hehehee |
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Reply by: pink at Dec 22, '12 19:45 | |
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I am totally appalled by the absolute disregard for the spirit of christmas in these items and thoroughly disheartened by the fact that I didn't think of it first.
I am going to drown my sorrows and such in some coffee with a little somethin in it. Or is it somethin with a little cofffee in it. |
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Reply by: greenthumbs1 at Dec 22, '12 20:05 | |
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Mr. Pickles, what a great song you have made.You made my boring day a little more brighter :)
Keep it up >:D< |
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Reply by: Chevy-Chelios at Dec 22, '12 22:08 | |
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That made my day PICKLES. Now I am not so mad at my ex now. LMAO |
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Reply by: Khan at Dec 23, '12 00:34 | |
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Well done Pickles. Good to see a sense of humor floating around these streets! |
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Reply by: Alexander at Dec 23, '12 01:04 | |
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Bravo! Well done Maestro Pickles! Another masterpiece brouth to us by your brilliant mind.
Says "Have a crime filled christmas everybody, and hope we all make it this new year!" as he shoots his tommy gun in the air |
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Reply by: Stinsonati at Dec 23, '12 02:31 | |
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Fa la la la la, la la la la, I'm having LSS(Last Song Syndrome) now, a job well done! you make my day
"Deathstalker walks away, killing some gangsters on his way to HQ while singing the song"
"While at HQ Deathstalker forgot to changed his choir robes, now he realized why the gangsters laughed at him" |
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Reply by: Deathstalker at Dec 23, '12 04:15 | |
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Just out of curiosity - was it a Faberge egg that I laid, D.P. Pickles? I have a nice stash of those - crew funds need to go somewhere, right? Who needs food, water and shelter, afterall! |
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Reply by: Vaticus at Dec 23, '12 04:47 | |
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Woundwort taps his foot hearing the melody of the Christmas Carols , but stops for a moment and realizes he hates christmas. his eyes narrow.
Wait ... I hate Christmas! Pickles I so agree with the Bah Humbug! But however the music does has a great melody!
Woundwort , mutters as he leaves, he thinks to himself if he had it his way.... Santa should be strung up. |
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Reply by: -General-Woundwort- at Dec 23, '12 21:16 | |
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On a christmas note...Olive `the other reindeer`was a complete bitch! |
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Reply by: JM_Browning at Dec 24, '12 03:28 | |
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