‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the crew

Not an Earner was stirring, not even Nemoo.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Don Nicholas soon would be there.

The Gangsters were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of dead Durdens danced in their heads.

The hookers in lingerie, and Vaticus in his cap,

Had just settled their brains for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

A one legged boss type falling from the ladder!

Away to the window Vatty flew like a flash,

Tore open the shutters and threw up his hash (the crew chef is terrible).

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.

When, what to his wondering eyes was the bother,

But a miniature car, and the Christmas Godfather.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

He knew in a moment it must be Don Nick.

More rapid than eagles his crew they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!

"Now Guido! now, Carmine! Now Santino and Vinnie!

On, Nunzio! On, Lefty! On Dominic and Luigi!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up to the house-top the crew they flew,

With the sleigh full of drugs, and Don Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, Vaticus heard over his head

The prancing and pawing of undercover cops soon to be dead.

As he drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Don Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed in a silk suit, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.

A bundle of drugs he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry (sounds like he’d been hittin’ the gin)!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the coke up his nose was white as the snow.

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a great big canoli!

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Don,

Vaticus laughed when he saw him, that dirty ol’ con!

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave him to know he had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose!

He sprang to his car, to his crew gave a whistle,

And away they all drove like the down of a thistle.

Vaticus heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

And, then he was arrested by the police for multiple counts of breaking and entering.

Bravo! This made my day.

Well done our merry little Elf in training LOL

Another remarkable display of wit Sir Pickles!

Pickles that was ace! It definitely made me laugh.

All rhymes perfect well done, great job :).

Great poem :) hope every had a great christmas.

You've outdone yourself once again, Mr Pickles! I'd say this is an 11/10, but I think it's genuinely more like a 12/10! I may be biased though, seeing as my name is scattered throughout this piece.

As always, I am simply flabbergasted by Pickles' seemingly endless repertoire of skill.

Bravo, Sir. Bravo.