Zishla runs around in circles throwing sheets of paper everywhere. After the _Ghost brothers hit him a couple times, he stops, and neatly starts to hand out what is now known as the "Undead Times". Issue 1.
Page 1
Undead Times Issue 1
Brought to you by Zishla, Phantom_Ghost, Fantom_Ghost, FatalRage, and some other guys that I don't really care enough about to mention.
Welcome!
Well, seeing as how this is the first issue, we felt the need to introduce ourselves. Known as the Undead Army, we are nothing more than a group of mafiosi who have bound themselves together in an alliance with the rest of this world to create a more interactive kind of family, and to bring the excitement of this thing of ours back from the depths. Thus, without further ado, please welcome the Undead Army.
Rest in Peace
Pintsize_Winslow, you were one of the best.
I'm sure some of you are wondering, WTF?! WHO IS THIS DON?! HOW IS HE A DON IN 2 DAYS?! WHY IS HE DEAD?! Well, please, take an extra dose of whatever you're on and take seat. On Divine Lunacy avenue (OOC: IRC Channel), one of the gods (OOC: Admins) decided to put to test some of the laws of this world(OOC: Testing out a feature). So, he hired 30 BodyGuards, and had them all shot for some tests. However, amidst the gunfire, our dear Don was caught by a shot and taken down. Rest In Peace Winslow.
All the New Auths
THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!
Ok, so now we have...2 CLs to a city. I'm not going to argue for or against that yet, so here's the facts:
Los Angeles was given to Bi-Polar_Bear, with his RHM and LHM, Hi and Prozac. (We're not even going to discuss why a Bi-Polar_Bear has Prozac.) And the big fluffy CL shares his city with, Juggalo, with his RHW and LHM, Brianna and Guerrilla.
New Orleans was given to Hayley and Dante_Balboni, with RHM Cherokee, and Malc. (Yes. Malc is known to have a few drinks every now and then.) The two currently have 22 members, combined, and we wish them both the best of luck.
New York, the previous home of Don Daera, was given to Taskmaster, one of the oldest members of this world, and TheSpacePope, the oldest member of this world. They set up with their RHM, Azuela and SirAnthonyBlunt. Best of luck in one of the best of cities.
Page 2
Whoa! Where did he go?!
He was here yesterday...
Well, we have somehow come across a new phenomenon, involving the disappearances of many of our new associates. Yes, there are some mafiosos that are just...vanishing. We all see them, talk to them, and work with them by day, but something bizarre happens when the world goes to sleep. I'm sure many of you have seen it, checking your mail in the morning to see a letter from the boss, asking if you've seen someone that they can't get in contact with. So, what's happening?! Well, I'm sure some of you have already pondered it, and yes, your are correct. We have a vampire infestation and we need all the help we can get to slay them all before more of us die!
Chicago?
Aw geeze. Another Auth.
Yep. You saw it. That one guy, Fantom_Ghost, the new capo with Cab_Tufting, yeah. He got auth. He's setting up next to Cab in Chicago, and I'm sure they're going to have a wonderful time in the windy city. Let's just hope those ghosty boys don't blow away.
Some RIPs
Aww... he died?
Yes, I would like to have an OBITS section in this paper. Some of the fallen should be recognized more than the traditional Funeral.
Armani, a Made Man under Marietta, was found dead in his home at 11:39 on Oct 17. He is believed to have been smothered by his bodyguards when he tried to get his coat out of his closet.
MightMouse, a Wise Guy under Bi-Polar_Bear was found dead in an over-sized rat trap at 12:15 on Oct 17. We'll all miss ya bud.
TheRealJimShady, an Earner under TheSpacePope is still alive, but sadly left our community in a puff of smoke. I guess he really was The Real Jim Shady.
WindowsVista, long time rival of LinuxMandrake, a Wise Guy belonging to the Bi-Polar_Bear, was found, crashed in his home. Cause of death? Ha. We saw it coming. He didn't invest in the updates.
Questions?
Anyone? Hello?
I understand that this issue is....quite...small, but I must say, we are eager to do anything we can for this community. So, please, send in any questions you have for us. (No matter how absurd or awkward.)
Contact Us
YES! You CAN talk to us.
Apart from the questions, you may speak with us in/for a number of ways. You may mail any of the names listed at the beginning of the paper, on IRC avenue, you can catch me in #UT.
If you would like a friend or family member to appear in our OBITs section, you may write a short (very short) bit about them, and we will publish it. That's just how nice we are.
|
