"He was only little, maybe 5'5" or 5'6" and bald, proper bald"

...I looked up at that. It wasn't often that there was a tall tale being passed around The Peach Pit. My interest was partly piqued because the things usually being passed around the Pit were attached to a gentleman's groin and partly because the description of the main character of the story sounded awfully familiar to me. I moved from my customary position, back to the wall, eyes down and hood up, watching the world go by whilst I idled away my final days in the dank squalor of a tavern so filled with the dearth of society that even the air felt tainted, nearer to where a fat, ugly, old bastard, with long hair and a shitty beard was sharing the yarn.

Camazotz continued his story "this little shit, used to give every fucker the eye, like he had the biggest set of balls you've ever seen. He'd wait until guys were about, working, chatting and what not, then the horrible little bastard would bite them without warning. It got so bad that eventually, a couple of fellas cornered him, pinned him down, fitted a bell around his neck and locked a heavy clog on one of his feet."

This definitely sounded like a guy I had met. I hunkered down near the fat knacker, or as near as his tremendous bulk made it possible to get.

"The thinking was the bell might let everyone know wherever he went and the clog would slow the little Munchkin down so that he couldn't bite anyone anymore and run off. Only, the problem was, the horrible turd grew proud of his bell and clog, used to run through the street, his heavy foot dragging behind him as he dinged about. We all got a right fucking laugh out of that, he didn't even realise, the j-bag thought he had been rewarded."

Even I started to smirk at that and Camazotz was enjoying the attention he was getting, ever the showman, always fat and smelly, he continued.

"Until, one day, as he was running about, an old bastard shouted to him 'why do you make such an exhibition of yourself? That bell and clog that you carry are not, believe me, orders of merit, but, on the contrary, marks of disgrace, a public notice to all men to avoid you as an ill-mannered dog.'" Camazotz roared with laughter at this, his belly shaking wildly in time with his mirth.

"I wouldn't laugh so loud if I was you fat man". I looked around to see who was talking and nearly shit my pants when I realised it was me who had said it. So unlike me it was too, to be standing up, doing something, out of the shadows and into the limelight. I barely realised that I had him by the throat and that I was laughing now, the only one too. Camazotz quivered, his belly rolls quaking like a prisoner's sphincter on the morning of his first shower.

"Sit down lad, I think I'll tell the stories from now on" I said, understanding the irony as Camazotz had been stealing everyone else's material for years.

I let go of Camazotz's throat and he fell to the ground, a plume of dust rising from the impact. Over the crash, I heard the faint jingle of a bell and the heavy drag of a clog. Turning, I saw all 5'6" of that mischievous dog, Roberto Carlos. His eyes burned from years of shame and everyone was looking at him, taking in his humiliation. Camazotz pushed himself to his knees and towered over Roberto, his slack jaw falling open as he realised the story he had been telling was true.

The silence stretched; there was nothing unusual about a man being on his knees in front of another man in the Pit, especially Camazotz being on his knees in front of another man, but there was a horrible tension until Roberto finally spoke.

"Notoriety is often mistaken for fame" He mused, before turning heavily on his heel and jingling out the door. Camazotz curled up into a ball and began to cry. But me, I knew I had found my calling as I looked about the room, this would be the first of Donbot's fables. The attention and the adoration in the tired, washed-out eyes of the drunk and drugged up listeners was addicting and I could feel myself craving another hit.

So I kicked the snivelling form of Camazotz as he wailed from the floor.