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| The Sugar Factory - Debut Issue! | Started by: Mane on Oct 27, '08 22:41 |
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The Sugar Factory! Issue one: The Debut Issue! Yes, finally here and starting small, The Sugar Factory will be offering hard competition to Tea Time with our amazing staff! Birday and I have set ourselves the target of matching Tea Time for quality, which will be a feat taking into account the one writer deficit we have. No doubt we'll add to our staff as we grow larger though, and you can look forward to many more Sugar Factory issues in the future! Interested in writing for The Sugar Factory? Mail Mane to show your interest and why you think you'd be a good addition to our staff. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "That ship has sailed." - Reporter: Cupcake. Spanish Inquisition sunk by the weight of a man's ego. Kinda. Premier and Briana_Arao both receive auth and only one survives. I would wonder why, if it weren't for my intuition that tells me that certain people don't like Premier. A Boss by the name of FatalRage decided that Premier deserved to die due to personal dislike and went rogue from Cab_Tufting's crew to shoot him. Is it possible that people are actually willing to stand up and do something about things they're not happy about?!? The response to this action was largely one of many chuckles and giggles, with the occasional groan to be heard from a couple of Premier's sycophants. Another casualty of this roguing session from FatalRage and Anarchy (also a former member of The Silent) was TheSpacePope, who was actually mourned by the community as their oldest member and a generally pleasant bloke. He was named as collateral damage by the rogues and they apologised for their actions. I guess that makes it all ok now, apologies solve everything. Of course, when I say they apologised, I mean they begged for forgiveness from every passer-by on the streets. Factually, the events unfolded relatively dramatically with the coffee shop members of #divinelunacy receiving news of the death first. Questions were asked about who the shooter was until FatalRage was seen strutting around in bold, and shortly after this the WS also surfaced. A generous $10,000 was given to the witness for his statement by the illustrious Briana_Arao. Tight-fisted bitch. Anyway, it was apparent that FatalRage had purchased an HQ in LA and taken the shot on Premier, hitting with apparent ease. This was shortly followed by Anarchy joining FatalRage's rogue crew and shooting TheSpacePope. Excitement coursed through the veins of the coffee shop dwellers but they were to be disappointed as no more shots from the rogues found their targets, with FatalRage rumoured to have tripped over a curb when shooting at stjimmy, and wildly shooting into the sky. Nice one Fatal, nice one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Doyle decimates. - Reporter: Cupcake. The Silent become... Well. More silent I guess. Yes I'm being sarcastic. The only thing he decimated was 24 hours of my life that I'll never get back. Thanks Doyle, you selfish bastard. Back to the stunning factual evidence and shit though of course. This paper isn't about me. It fucking should be, but it's not. So I won't go on about me. Much. Doyle waged war on Cab_Tufting, just one night after the relatively hilarious demise of Premier to make two consecutive nights of outrageously rubbish entertainment, and explained the reasoning to be because of Cab's attitude that his own members should not be punished as harshly as he expected everyone else's members to be punished. Life's a bitch eh. The war slowly unfolded, with the first wave being one of the least effective in my bloodline's recollections, with only the eccentric Caby falling to a bullet fired from The Wanderers. Despite Cab having a relatively decent hitsquad, fuck all shots were fired back (to put it bluntly) and Doyle took Cab apart one Wise Guy at a time. A dramatic turn of events (I say dramatic, I was already falling asleep from boredom at this point) involved one of Marietta's Made Men shooting at Cab's bodyguards, and Cab shooting the Made Man in retaliation, triggering Marietta to join in the war on Doyle's side. It is reported that Marietta was so outraged, she cast her high heels aside and screamed "Oink, oink, to waaaaaar!" Unfortunately, nobody is able to replicate the battle cry of our very own FlyingPig and unlike FP, Marietta only succeeded in striking fear into her pet chihuahuas (who swiftly soiled themselves and crawled under the bed). Alas, the war did not get any more exciting, as Cab curled up in his bed with a sarcastic smile on his face and he lost a few more Wise Guys. Good times. Eventually though, having missed Cab multiple times, Doyle threw his gun to the floor in a sulk and it discharged, the bullet finding it's way to Cab's head and felling the Consigliere Crew Leader of Chicago. There were many RUPs in the coffee shops and rejoicing as people realised the war was finally over. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm watching you... - Cupcake's fashion column. And what the fuck are you wearing, you moron?! It's at the time that we need to ridicule other people for their appearance ladies and gentlemen!! We all enjoy a good battering of the public, and this is where I laugh at you for looking like an imbecile. IShotTheSheriff - As if it wasn't bad enough looking at her normally, reports say that she ventured out of the Riot HQ with a yellow top, green skirt and red shoes. Colour-blind much? Ask Marietta for tips love, she has class. StripheCorelli - Spotted wearing nothing as he wandered the streets of Detroit. That's not bad fashion though, that's just not pretty for everyone else. You really need to stop selling everything to pay for your casino addiction. Seek help. Numbers4Glory - Seen parading around in a pink shirt with the slogan "Be my friend, jump on the HMS Friend Ship!" Come on, it's the 30s! Pink shirts aren't cool, just relatively camp. I burned my pink shirt when Premeir flaunted his one all over his profile. Son_Of_Mafie -Lying in a coffin with a purple baseball cap? Not quite the crown of thorns man. 1-0 to Jesus I think you'll find mon frere. We await your resurrection you amazing prophet of Sprozzlam. Heyoo indeed. And finally... Hayley - Seen out of her HQ for once. Maybe she got lost. Anyway, she was reported to be wearing a skirt with the slogan "Enter here" written on the back. I'm told that's a new music band, but I don't buy it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ BATTLE OF THE EDITORS Here at The Sugar Factory, we have decided to bring you a new form of competition, but not amongst the readers - between the two editors of this up and coming production. Battle of the Editors is here my friends, and this is where Candyfloss and myself write articles on the same topic but from our very different viewpoints! After that, we allow you to draw your own conclusions from what we have written. This week is based on underground groups and loyalty, which is topical because of the recent proposed activities of the "DA", who are rumoured to be a new underground group who have had a relatively heavy influence on our world recently. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Article 1: TDA? - Reporter: Candyfloss. The Dumb Asses? With the recent events of FatalRage and Anarchy still fresh, a question of loyalty and "underground groups" has arisen. What is an underground group you ask? An underground group is usually a group of people that are dissatisfied with the current situation and they take matters into their own hands and seek to end the regime. The key to these groups is secrecy and talent, and examples of groups which exhibited these qualities would be Project Mayhem more recently, Team Good Guy, Ironfist, Genepool Cleaners, and Who-err if we go back in time. Now while some of these groups have done quite a bit "misdeeds", there is one thing that they all have in common and that is the exhibition of some sort of loyalty to their past leaders. This current batch can't even show that, not even dropping their past crew tags and generally showing such utter disrespect to their leader. While not shooting Cab themselves, this batch of rogues was the nail in his coffin as he was shot down the next day by Doyle after many.....MANY attempts. The new breed of underground groups has no secrecy or talent though. They go by the name of "The Devils Angels" (I still prefer The Dumb Asses). This particular group is extremely talented with names such as Brianna and Scarface22 leading up in the experience department, and Romeo leading up the group. Even in death you can see quite the all star line-up forming. This self-serving group is taking over one IRC room at a time. Taking in all the past rejects of Manovanni and Fuckerish Mob Inc to form something even more ridiculous than your normal group of rejects, with the death of Premeir and TheSpacePope they have made their ground, but where is the next stop in this group's journey? I hope the dumpster but who knows. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Article 2: The "Oh so violent" DA. - Reporter: Cupcake Coffee shop pals strike fear into the Mafia public. Well, Devils Angels, let me start this off by addressing you and telling you that your coffee shop antics do not scare me. Oh no, I will not be scared by you and your ilk! You are all the same, you people. You sit in your coffee shops, all smug and friendly, until one of you goes rogue. Then, you establish yourself as an underground group because a friend or two who happens to be in the same coffee shop as you starts helping you. I am onto you!! Yes, possibly the most sarcastic paragraph I've written to date? I'll be blunt, does a set of three friends who helped each other out during one roguing effort comprise an underground group? Considering the rest of the group sat there like "Nice shot FatalRage, Premeir is a bit a cunt," but didn't actually do anything to assist the rogue? I repeat for those who are a slightly vision impaired: Only three people took part in the roguing effort. So three people in this mythical group, who have been tagged DA by the public, have struck a certain level of paranoia into a minority of our community. Devastating news, that really is. I'm heartbroken for the minority. Yes it was disloyal of them to do what they did, and if they were totally loyal to their CL then they wouldn't have done it and I believe that they shouldn't have done it. However, they did do it. Ironic really, considering Premier's bloodline did exactly the same thing to CommodumPerfectus and Numbers4Glory. He didn't like those people in power, he stepped up and did something about it. So did FatalRage. Notice the differing reactions. Project Mayhem was an underground group because they'd been planning to dislodge those who were in power. FatalRage reacted to the auth of Premier, no plans were formulated. You tell me, does the DA even exist as an underground group? I hardly think so. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Mafia prophet? - Reporter: Candyfloss Or "just another Jesus"? A new saviour has appeared on the shores of the country this past Friday, introducing yet another religion! Sprozzlam as it called made a quick appearance in the world, lead by the one and only Son_of_Mafie. It quickly grabbed onto many members with hymns such as "DL: 1-5" Give us this day our daily meds And forgive us our typos as we forgive those who typo against us While many people did enjoy this new religion the question on many peoples minds was, "How long this so called 'saviour' was going to last before he wackbacked on some poor sleeping roman?" To all our surprise the glorious leader was cut down early into his life. While the period of mourning commences we all check the horizon to see if he also rises on the third day in all his clichglory. Update to come next week! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is not a fucking disclaimer, this is me telling you that if you got upset in any way by this then you need to not be so fucking sensitive. Have a nice day. |
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| And would you look at that! All my articles were semi-on time! Go team Sugar! | |
| Reply by: Birday at Oct 27, '08 22:43 | |
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A young woman stands a few feet from the newstand, a paper in hand. Her eyes scanning quickly over the words, a smile slowly breaking across her face and soon turning into all-out laughter. Thank you for that, it gave me a real tickle. You just made my day and got your first loyal reader in one fell swoop. :]<3 |
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| Reply by: Lolo at Oct 27, '08 23:35 | |
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| hehe great cant wait for more if theres more hehe | |
| Reply by: Yoyo at Oct 27, '08 23:50 | |
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This newspaper has claimed that many shots where fired to have killed Cab. My sources being trustworthy have reported that only 2 shots where fired upon which the second hit Mr Tufting. Doyles lawyers shall be contacting your papers lawyers for false information. |
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| Reply by: JimmyTheLionHeart at Oct 27, '08 23:51 | |
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Many = multiple. Multiple = more than one. More than one = two. Have a nice day. |
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| Reply by: Mane at Oct 28, '08 00:12 | |
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Go team Sugar! Definitely, go Team Sugar. Since Tea Time has an already established reporter named Sugar. |
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| Reply by: Tatiana at Oct 28, '08 00:52 | |
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She slips each of the "sweetest" reporters she knows a bag of chocolate covered cupcakes and smiles. Not bad, not bad at all. I look forward to seeing more of your sweetness in our Streets. |
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| Reply by: tiggy at Oct 28, '08 01:12 | |
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Great read, I enjoyed it. Cant wait to see the next one. |
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| Reply by: SaulSilver at Oct 28, '08 04:27 | |
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Execellent first issue and I look forward to future issues of this publication. Folds up his copy and smiles |
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| Reply by: StripheCorelli at Oct 28, '08 05:16 | |
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"Ironic really, considering Premier's bloodline did exactly the same thing to CommodumPerfectus and Numbers4Glory. He didn't like those people in power, he stepped up and did something about it." Not really the exact same thing, unless they exploited a glitch for their success, is it? Other than that, I think you will find my wardrobe consists of a green shirt with a red heart on it. You'll also notice that my friendship making garb is all the rage, it is like popularity + 10 or something. Nice work, friends. |
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| Reply by: Numbers4Glory at Oct 28, '08 05:18 | |
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| This is great whens the next one going to be | |
| Reply by: Ireland_123 at Oct 28, '08 07:19 | |
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| It's ok Abacus, this guy clearly translates dreams to reality as a directly result of a complete lack of success in any way whatsoever. Also called "being an idiot". | |
| Reply by: linuxmandrake at Oct 28, '08 07:20 | |
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An entertaining read, to be sure. Tho I have to say, I think I would have enjoyed it far more, had I been mentioned in it. Maybe next issue! Hrmm, tho I suppose I might have to actualy DO something to warrant a mention :/ |
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| Reply by: Bi-Polar_Bear at Oct 28, '08 10:48 | |
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Not Bad at all, Would like to see some more community interaction, but other than that I really enjoyed it. Keep up the good work boys |
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| Reply by: Cherokee at Oct 28, '08 11:26 | |
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Not a bad read atall. *Smiles and wanders off* |
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| Reply by: Drexler at Oct 28, '08 11:31 | |
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On the way to Giovanni's to meet the girls, Marietta stumbles across a newsboy with a new paper in hand. "EXTRA EXTRA! New humorous paper!" he yelled towards her, and with a raised eyebrow the woman approached him. I'll take one, she said, pulling out some pocketbook change and passing it over to his free hand. He hands her a paper with a smile and walks off down the streets once more, shouting loudly over the rumble of cars to sell his wares. The woman allowed her eyes to narrow upon the title. Sugar Factory, eh? she mutters, placing it underneath her arm and continuing on her way. When at last she reached Giovanni's she was greeted immediately and warmly by the owner himself. With a smile she was led to her usual back booth, only to discover the girls weren't there yet. Giving an exaggerated sigh to herself, Marietta unfolded the paper and began to read, sipping at the glass of water that was placed in front of her. She made her way through it silently, only pausing here and there to allow her eyes a moment to rest. When at last she was done she folded the paper back up and tucked it next to her on the red vinyl of the booth. Clicking her fingers against the table top she mutters, "Not bad," to herself, pulling the menu towards her and switching her mind to making up more important matters: lasagna or the usual. |
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| Reply by: Marietta at Oct 28, '08 12:39 | |
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After IShotTheSheriff did her morning stretches, drank her morning tea and stared at the pictures of Numbers4Glory she had ripped out of newspapers for a significant amount of time for her morning tradition she opened her door expecting to beat away some bums. To her surprise there were no bums, just a glorious bouquet of flowers and underneath the flowers was a paper. Sheriff raised the print to her face and smelled the fresh ink. Mmmm She moaned to herself and slammed the door behind her. Taking a seat at the kitchen table with another cup of tea Sheriff got down to business. As she picked up the paper a note fell out. To Sheriff: May the best entry win! The names Candyfloss and Cupcake were written in cursive at the bottom in thick black ink. Ahhhh Talking to herself again she grabbed a pen and paper and made notes on the hot press that lied in front of her. As she read through it Sheriff's face grinned, smiled, she frowned and she twisted her face at some of the articles. Over all she came out triumphantly with a smile Laying the paper down as it had lost it's fresh smell and no more use to her, Sheriff picked up her phone and dialed Marietta's number, she desperately needed to talk about shoes! |
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| Reply by: IShotTheSheriff at Oct 28, '08 12:41 | |
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| Good read for sure. You should try a best dressed list too. Check out my new suit, Antonio_Macelli. | |
| Reply by: Antonio_Macelli at Oct 29, '08 03:20 | |
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| Great read, absolutely blows Tea Time out of the water! They can take that with a grain of salt... i mean sugar, i'm sure | |
| Reply by: Telkin at Oct 29, '08 22:28 | |
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