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new joke of the week Started by: Aang on Mar 30, '13 03:59

one day lil jonny hears his parents fighting. later thjat day he asked them what does bitch and basterd mean? they replied say they refer to jackets and coats. the next day lil jonny hears his mom scream fuck! after cutting her hand with a knife. he asks his mom what fuck meant. she said it refers to cutting. so on thanksgiving day lil jonny answers the door and greets the guests by saying hello bitches and basterds. hurry up we cant wait to fuck the turkey

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Harold suspected his wife of playing around on the side, so one day he took the afternoon off and comes home extra early. He entered his apartment, which was on the 3rd floor, and started looking around. Upon entering the bedroom he found his wife laying in bed. On her nightstand was a lit cigarette. In the ashtray on his nightstand, on the other side of the bed, there was another lit cigarette.

Harold went berserk. After beating his wife upside the head, he proceeded to search the apartment. It was not long before he spotted a pair of hands hanging on the window sill, outside the bedroom. He grabbed one of the ashtrays and pounded on the hands until the battered fingers let go. Despite falling thirty feet the cuckold was
still alive and trying to crawl away.

Now worried that he might go to jail if his wife's lover lived to tell the police, Harold ran into the kitchen and pushed the refrigerator into the bedroom and out the window. He was so worked up, and the refrigerator was so heavy, that the effort of pushing it out the window gave poor Harold a heart attack, and he died.

When Harold arrived at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter asked Harold what had happened to him. Harold told his story, and Peter let him in. Soon there after a second guy showed up for admission to Heaven.

When St. Peter asked him why he was there, he said "I don't know what happened, I was a window cleaner. I was working on the fifth floor of an apartment building when my safety strap broke and I fell. I caught myself on the ledge of a 3rd floor apartment. Then somebody smashed my hands and made me fall to the sidewalk. I was stunned, but okay. The next thing I know, I look up and there is a refrigerator coming down at me ..." He too was allowed in.

It was not long before a third potential angel approached the gates. St. Peter asked the third guy, "What happened to you?" The guy said, "I don't know. I was sitting in this refrigerator minding my own business ..."

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that is hillarious

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