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| Piggy for Tyrant! | Started by: Hi on Nov 10, '08 23:23 |
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Hi steps out of his ivory tower to gaze at the pathetic creatures populating the streets. Ignorant, dirty, huddled masses begin to gather around him, hoping for a crumb of wisdom or perhaps even to touch his shoulder. Hi looks on in disgust, spits out at the crowd and begins to speak I have heard lots of talk lately about "so-and-so for auth", or "that bitch is a tyrant" (clearly I'm not talking about you, Marietta. Point that gun elsewhere. Towards Striphe, perhaps.) The funny thing is, that none of you are qualified to manage to wipe your own ass, much less manage a city. The savior has already been granted auth. His name is King Cav, and he will save us all. Next up, the throwing around of the word "tyrant". None of you would know a good tyrant if it bit you in the ass. We have not seen a real tyrant in eons. Probably not since the days of -mrevilman has anyone truly deserved that title. There is evidence to go along with my claim... What happens whenever a crewleader decides to take down another family? Shut up, don't answer. You might drool on yourself. Allow me to answer for you. They come to the streets and explain to all of you inbred twats their redeeming justification, which Jesus himself would approve of. Then they make a plea for you to spare the lives of the recently crewless. What happens whenever a crewleader decides to extend La Cosa Nostra to a new city? Do they auth someone that everyone hates? No, more times than not it is a popular choice, as evidenced by the deluge of ass licking morons who show up at their introductory speech. Obviously, this is in an attempt to please the masses and make themselves look good in the process. Pfffft. Do either of these occurrences sound like a tyrant to you? If so, stick around and hear what I will bring to the cities upon my election as the NEW TYRANT. At this time I would like to declare my candidacy for the (apparently) newest title to grace our fine cities. I am hereby making known my long term goal to become your newest tyrant. Not "next" tyrant, since there hasn't been a real tyrant in ages, as previously mentioned. As the new tyrant, I intend on shooting someone for absolutely no reason at all - at least every three days. This person will likely be a cute female that all the pathetic wimps fawn over, just to really get my point across. The point? That I don't like you and it makes me laugh whenever you get upset. You DEFINATELY shouldn't have a public wedding. It will certainly end in a bloodbath, as I shoot the bride minutes before the exchange of marital vows. Oh, lol. That would be like my birthday and Christmas, all rolled into one. I live for such things. As the new tyrant, I will make a speech following every war. BUT WAIT! I will not tell you what an awful leader the guy I killed was. Instead, I will preach his virtues but contend that he needed to die, so that I could stretch my legs out into another city. That's right, morons. I would be killing him to extend my power. As if that's such a terrible thing in the mafia. God, I hate you people. As the new tyrant, I will replace my conquests with the most idiotic mobsters you can imagine. Imagine it...Revan is Godfather of Los Angeles. Clipper runs New York. Striphe and Cav run Chicago. Errm...oh wait. Nevermind. REVAN WILL RUN EVERY CITY! Except mine. And until I decide to kill Revan and replace him with an even bigger tard. As the new tyrant, I will kill anyone who disagrees with me. What's that you say? Freedom of speech? What alcoholic whore of a mother gave birth to you? Do you think there is a "Mafia Constitution" with a Bill of Rights that states "the Don shall make no rule infringing on your freedom of speech"? You know, bad things happen when siblings marry. You are living proof of that. No mobster who is not brain-dead believes he can mouth off to the Don. Mouth off to me, and I will not kill you. I will kill the ten "innocent" people who like you, and then kill you. Lolz. As the new tyrant, you will not be allowed to join my family. Only those of competent intellect will be allowed such a luxury. That means it will be me and Zoey, and perhaps Tatiana when we are feeling freaky, spending all our days in the HQ, fornicating and taking shots out the window at the scattering mobsters who are ducking for safety. It will be a veritable Utopia for me and my ladies. (Yes, I have ladies. The rest of you women are just dirty crack whores.) Yes, a Utopia for us, purgatory for the rest of you. Perhaps if you live long enough and prove yourselves to be at least literate, you will be given shelter in an HQ. With Revan as your Boss. So there you have it. If you want to see a REAL tyrant, vote Piggy for Tyrant. PIGGY FOR TYRANT! Oh, wait. There's no voting in the mafia. So I guess you'll just have to accept it and deal with it. Morons. |
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| gets his ballot out to vote for hi as tyrant... shit, there's no voting... oh well | |
| Reply by: Sunshine at Nov 10, '08 23:29 | |
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| Wonders what makes piggy so special | |
| Reply by: King_Cav at Nov 10, '08 23:59 | |
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| I'm pretty tarded... let me manage something. | |
| Reply by: Dillinger at Nov 11, '08 00:04 | |
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Applauds Wait, was that the cue for the applaud sign? I don't know I thought I saw the sign light up letting me know when to do so! Piggy, please tell me if it is time to applaud oh Tyrant!... In all seriousness, I couldn't agree more. But I guess it comes down to simple societal behavior Hi - If you give a beggar money, he will buy food or crack and perhaps even bite the hand that fed him. Too bad beggars can't be choosers huh? Points to Hi What HE said... I'm too tired to rant anymore |
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| Reply by: GoodFeIIa at Nov 11, '08 00:24 | |
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Bi-Polar_Bear sits back and quietly enjoys Hi's speech, thinking to himself... "Goddamit! Why does he always gotta out cool me!" |
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| Reply by: Bi-Polar_Bear at Nov 11, '08 00:48 | |
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Hi, With all due respect, I fail to understand why your posts continue to get more and more derogatory to anyone and everyone. Only needing the last line, you call everyone idiots. Since when is this respectful or a way a respected member of society should act? I love you to death, don't get me wrong, it's just something I've noticed. |
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| Reply by: AngelaBaker at Nov 11, '08 01:40 | |
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Ponders Angela's comments Maybe you are right. Do you think I should have used "fucktards" instead? |
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| Reply by: Hi at Nov 11, '08 01:45 | |
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| If he is going to be a proper tyrant, he can't start being nice to people now. | |
| Reply by: Tonia at Nov 11, '08 01:58 | |
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*shakes his head dissapointedly losing all respect for Hi only killing every 3 days, am so dissapointed now letting no one live past thug that was the piggy i used to know and respect :( |
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| Reply by: Captain_Tycho at Nov 11, '08 02:57 | |
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maybe you could even entice in the thugs just to execute them. *grins thinking about it |
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| Reply by: Captain_Tycho at Nov 11, '08 03:17 | |
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| Nice thinking, but that would involve allowing them into my HQ, and that is completely out of the question, except under the circumstance outlined in my campaign pledge. | |
| Reply by: Hi at Nov 11, '08 03:20 | |
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| then i guess you have to do the other route, if they survive that long they get into your or ravens HQ(as in your pledge), then you have to take there money and execute them. Maybe you can call it a loyalty fee to prove they want to join and their commitment to you. | |
| Reply by: Captain_Tycho at Nov 11, '08 04:08 | |
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| Heh, ever the biggest bad tyrants have a soft spot. Wither it's for classic films or the captive cuisine of a loving mum. | |
| Reply by: Telemachus at Nov 11, '08 10:23 | |
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| I will be a tyrant with Piggy too, no problem... | |
| Reply by: Ganelon at Nov 11, '08 10:45 | |
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No guys... I broke the dam... GoodFella walks off leaving some individuals perplexed |
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| Reply by: GoodFeIIa at Nov 11, '08 11:30 | |
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AngelBaker in response to your post, the reason is because quite simply he can. Very few people will stand up to this Pig no matter what he does or says, many would rather give him a little pat on the tummy or play with his tail than question him, which is why he would make a great tyrant. People love to hate him, but they just won't show it. Gives Hi a little pat on the tummy |
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| Reply by: TesleR at Nov 11, '08 11:55 | |
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Zoey sat at her desk in the Riot HQ and wrote a letter. My Dearest Hi, With every sweet elegant word that escapes your bold kissable mouth I fall more madly in love with you. I dream of the day when we can be together and give this thing of ours the true tyranny it deserves. Until then I wait with breathless anticipation. Yours Truly, Zoey After putting the letter in an envelope and sealing it with a kiss Zoey gave it to one of her bodyguards standing outside her office door. Take this to the post office. Hurry up or I'll shoot your fucking face. |
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| Reply by: Zoey at Nov 11, '08 12:00 | |
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| Don't open that letter Hi, it's a trap! | |
| Reply by: Telemachus at Nov 11, '08 12:05 | |
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What Hi doesn't know is that Zoey really has every intention of Ruling with me... The Silent, Sneaky, Shadow Nightmare that will soon enough be a Tyrant of Tyrants But what Zoey doesn't know is that I also have no intention of sharing power with her I laugh at the thought of calling Zoey and Hi tyrants. Their practically care-bears compared to what I will be |
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| Reply by: GoodFeIIa at Nov 11, '08 12:07 | |
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