A well dressed man pulls out an old soap box from next to a pile of rubbish, a pile of rubbish which smells of rotten flesh, just the thing BrickTop wanted to discuss. Stepping up he throws a paper cup onto the pile of rubbish as he pushes back his golden hair, which is turning grey, and straightens his thick black rimmed glasses.

Good day ladies and gentlemen, i have seen many dead bodies lying in out streets, in bins, in ditches, its not healthy. Fuelled by the past war the funeral homes just cant keep up! So today i bring you BrickTops help on how to remove dead bodies!

Most the people shooting on these streets, I'm sure, just shoot and run off, don't care about the body, but others out there, they do it stealthily, and need to get rid of the target once the contract is complete. Now, you're always going to have problems lifting a body in one piece.

From what I hear that the ideal thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and put it together in a pile, now don't do this on your kitchen table, find somewhere quiet, and use sheets to stop the mess getting everywhere. When you have your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, it's no good leaving it in the freezer for your mum to discover, now is it? Then what I hear is the best thing to do is feed them to pigs.

Pigs!?! hear you ask? Pigs eat people? Well this is how it goes. BrickTop has a shift look in eyes, like he is trying to sell you some moody gold, but for once, he is actually trying to help.

You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? The pigs will go through bone like butter. You will need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. The pigs will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Now, you can thank me later for this sound advice, but i didn't tell you this, you got that? I was never here.

BrickTop walks off the street and into a local cafe for a cup of tea.

You must be referring to the animal, because I know the old cops are grimy as shit at the best of times; but cannibalism seems beyond even them.

I will bare this in mind. In this business we can't exactly keep down the mortality rate, so we do the next best thing... and make sure Larrylips gets the message that what happens behind closed doors stays that way.

An old friend of mine once said no one misses what they never knew.

Thanks BrickTop this is handy. But there are some guys even there mothers wont miss them

Awesome way to get rid of a body. No will never know.

Can somebody tell me the fuck this guy is apart from a man who feeds people to pigs of course...

After hearing this speech, Satan takes note of the pig farmers he knew.

He smiled, 'seems like a fool proof plan... I got some bodies I Need disposing of anyway...'

Kittie listens to the advice, trying not to wrinkle her nose.  

"Well, in my family we just made a special sauce once a week.  Onions, garlic, fresh picked tomatoes and a healthy dose of ground up mystery meat. Of course, grandma never let me eat from that pot." 

Much easier than loading a body into barrel and dumping it in the river, who knows who might be casing the docks.

All this talk of pigs was making JakeLuciano hungry. 

"BrickTop my friend, let me buy you some lunch whilst you tell me more about these pigs of yours, you in the mood for some ribs?"

Solastalgia unlocked the final door of a heavily secured, private building that he had rented out under an alias; he had kept the location a secret for years.  Giving a light push of his shoulder on the large metal door, the smell of swine was surprisingly absent; the squeals weren't audible to his ear, and as he flipped the switch of the light that illuminated the large, loft-like area, he felt his heart sink.

The pens he had filled with pet pigs over the years were empty; completely barren of any swine.  The water containers were full, and the mound of pig feed in each pen remained a formidable to any pig that reared their head towards their would-be meal.  But none of it mattered; they were all gone. 

Solastalgia slumped against the wall in utter shock mixed with heartbreak; his rivals had finally found a way to make him hurt.  He felt the familiar sense of emotional numbness he had grown accustomed to over the years that had immediately followed after traumatic events start to take effect as he glanced towards the private office area, when he heard a high-pitched squeal.

Springing into action, Solastalgia nearly smashed the door open as his eyes darted to the desk, where a ribboned gift basket sat in the center.  Moving closer, the baby miniature pig Solastalgia had nursed back to health only a week prior lay strewn across the blanket, squealing helplessly next to a red brick that had what appeared to be a small note taped to the other side of it.  Flipping it over, he felt a sense of fury as he read the note.  

Way to bring home the bacon, eh? I can assure you that I won't be taking good care of them.

-- BT

Solastalgia lowered his brick-holding arm as his blood boiled.  In a moment of frenzy, he threw the brick as hard as his arm would allow him, watching it smash into the nearby wall before dropping to the floor in several pieces, causing the lone baby pig to squeal loudly.

"BRICKTOP!"

A cold blooded killer listens to an inspirational speech on the streets and applauds.

Thank you for sharing this important information with us, BrickTop. I hope we hear more speeches like this in the future. This topic is very near and dear to my cold heart. I've been feeding fish for years. I didn't know pigs were a better option to get rid of corpses. I will definitely invest in a pig farm.

I've cut many many bodies into six pieces as you mentioned. I suggest taking the bodies to a butcher shop. They have fantastic bone saws that get the job done in minutes. If you bribe the butcher enough he might even do the work for you. Why get your hands dirty when you can pay someone else to do it?