The faithful crowded around Mr. Pickles the Tyrant as he stepped onto the balcony to deliver a speech to the masses.  Others who haven’t fully come to accept the new ruler also stop to listen.

The whole crowd chants his name “PICKLES!  PICKLES!” until he raises his hand for silence.

“Greetings, my dear citizens of NWCOBLDGTDAN.  The committee still hasn’t got back to me on anew name.  First order of business, some of you have not affixed your lapel pin to your suits.  Again, you may go to my tailor and he’ll fix you right up.

Now, onto business.  First, sales of the recent Tabloid were a little low, but they were still better than other publications.  Thank you to some, and let’s do better to the rest.

Now, I didn’t want to have to do this, but many of you have not complied with my rules and will be sent to a Pickles Re-Education Resort until you learn better.  It’s for you own good, really."

You find yourself in front of a large gated area.  A man is waiting in a bus to take you on your way.  You find yourself in a large building.  You can’t help but notice the guard towers and sentries.  This isn’t your normal summer camp.  The walls are a calming soft colour.  Portraits of the great and powerful and beloved Tyrant Pickles line the walls, but there are no windows.  The admitting clerk hands you a small pamphlet of Resort Rules and Regulations, and on the back is a reminder of the original rules Pickles set forth.

Resort Rules and Regulations
    1)    Don’t forget why you’re here.  To learn how amazing Mr. Pickles is, and why you should appreciate him.
    2)    Curfew is 10pm sharp.  You’ll want to be well rested while you’re “encouraged” in the ways of the new world.
    3)    The tennis courts and swimming pool are open from 10am-6pm.
    4)    Fraternizing with other resort inmates is highly encouraged.
    5)    All other rules will be learned as you go.

Tyrant Pickles’ Rules
    1)    Everyone will send me $1 to fund my empire.  Crew leaders will send me $2.
    2)    All HQ bars will be renamed “Pickles Memorial Bar.”    
    3)    All sentences will end with “If Pickles allows.”
    4)    There will be no watering the seeds of liberty with the blood of tyrants!  Thomas Payne be damned!
    5)    And, for the heck of it, all of my subjects shall wear this lapel pin to show their love and loyalty to yours truly.

A nice looking lady leads you to your room.  It looks nice enough, you think.  You introduce yourself to a man named Little Page.  He’s your new roommate.

“Why are you here, cousin?” He asks.

“I forgot to end a sentence with “if Pickles allows.”  He didn’t allow that.”

“Well, I don’t think that Pickles guy is really all that great!  I mean . . .”  And that’s the last you hear of him as he is taken away from the room screaming.  You pick up a copy of the paper lying on the night stand and look in the back.

Littlepage's Funeral     Started by: God at Jun 26, '13 08:12

*From the entry of the church a black casket that holds the recently deceased can be seen. And though it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the dim light, you see a woman in a black veil place a white rose on the casket. You watch as she wipes a tear from her eye. She lights a candle in remembrance of the deceased and walks down the aisle wiping the tears that are now cascading down her cheeks.

The only light inside the church is from the flickering candles on the altar. The candlelight casts an eerie glow across the priest's face. He hangs his head as he starts to read...*

"Friends, we are gathered here today to pay our final respects to our friend, Littlepage. May he rest in peace. Those wishing to pay their respects may do so at this time."

This was printed earlier today!  How?  Why?  Sure Pickles is one very powerful Tyrant.  You think to yourself that you might want to start obeying the rules.  At that moment, a man comes around handing out ice cream cones (which may or may not be drugged) to the residents.  Maybe this won’t be too bad?  If Pickles allows!

Lord Voldemort is intrigued by Mr-Pickles so he decides to give this resort a try... unfortunately Lord Voldemort prefers a room to himself so he kills his roommate and throws away the top bunk. making himself at home he puts away his things and proceeds to go get some food... If pickles allows.

Mr_Pickles?

More like Mr_Loser.

ty

indeed pickles...now that i have been fed lets see what this resort has to offer...

Lord Voldemort is at this point very intrigued he walks around to explore the resort in his free time...if pickles allows

tony sits rocking back in forth in a nearby corner as the new arrivals come pouring in mumbling incoherently to himself

If Pickles allows, God save the Pickles, NO PICKLES NO!