CHICAGO UNION-TRIBUNE

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Publisher: Ariadne                                             Issue 7

Will Anonymous Never Learn?
 

Once again Anonymous came out and posted all over the streets, with foul words and deeds, touting his group as the “True Criminals”  While their attempt was long winded, it didn’t last long.  Their pathetic attempts to try and drum up support fell far short of their intended goal and once again, their city was taken by the strong leadership of Chicago. 

Parental Guidance Encouraged

Orithyia hit the streets with the popular topic of respect and how it’s taught to future members of organized crime.  Many individuals came forth to voice their opinions and, when there was dissention in the speakers, they grew more heated and yet, quite a bit cooler toward each other.  No shots were fired though opinions on the topic continue to vary to both extremes, and the overall debate was well spoken. 

A Chilling Quiz

Penquin toddled out into the streets to pose an interesting quiz to all and sundry.  Given a list of ten multiple choice questions, followed by a few bonus questions, asking about numerous aspects of mob life.  How do you rate?  The Chicago Union Tribune is intrigued by the list and looks anxiously forward to seeing what the locals answer.  By the next printing of the Tribune, we should have a good idea of what your fellow Mafioso are thinking toward hookers, old ladies, the Feebs and killing in general. 

Horoscopes

Aries – You know that emotional little voice in your head that tells you to follow your heart, Aries?  Listen to it today; take a sensitive approach to all people and situations.  Nurture your loved ones today and run away with your fantasies!

Taurus – Your mind is scattered today and you’re unsure which route to take.  Slow down today and sit back, observe, and contemplate.  Try not to disturb the flow in your mind by bringing up unrelated issues and hurtful gossip, but don’t be afraid to let your mind wander; you may come back around to the solution that, thus far, has eluded you.

Gemini –  You’ve probably been sitting quietly in the background, watching, observing and collecting data for quite some time.  Now is your time; come out of the shadows and let your conclusions be heard.  Don’t let others push you around; take a stand for what you know is right.  Your nurturing instincts are strong today which makes it an excellent day for you to air your opinions.

Cancer –  Remember that old saying that one shouldn’t judge another until they’d walked a mile in their shoes?  That should be your mantra for the day, Leo.  You feel a bit lost in the fog but strap on your compass and you’ll be fine.  Focus outward today and think more of what you can help with, what you can do for others, than focusing on yourself.  Today’s a day to be sensitive and receptive to others ideas.

Leo –  While attention to detail is very important today, make sure you don’t fall so deeply into detail that you lose sight of the whole picture.  Take care of anything that needs a broader perspective today; today is a day of reckoning in some ways.

Virgo –  Stay outta other peoples’ voodoo ritual space today, Virgo.  Respect their feelings and give them breathing room.  It’s a great day to pursue creative endeavors though, so do things that involve art or music.  Museum heist, anyone? 

Libra –  Today is a great day to take a stroll down old memory lane, Libra.   Get sentimental! Get mushy!  “Remember that time Izzy and the Godfather…”  those types of thoughts.  Be harmonious with the folks and situations around you.  While you may not achieve world peace, maybe a subtle shot at world dominance is in your cards.

Scorpio –  You should see what you can learn by tuning into others’ subtle messages today; the masculine and feminine sides of your nature are, for once, not at odds with one another so let them play nicely together.  Tonight seems to be the perfect night to stay in, relax with a nice cognac and your favorite music on the Victrola. 

Sagittarius –  Down be a pessimist today about everything around you; you have every right to be happy.  When you maintain a negative viewpoint about things, you’re only adding to the problem.  Put on your dancing shoes and kick up your heels; sometimes the best way to get outta the dumps is to hop into the local speakeasy, listen to the pretty lady belting out a lively tune, and have a couple drinks with friends.  You should feel a renewed sense of confidence today that should help anchor your emotions and give strength to your thoughts and ideas.

Capricorn –  This week may feel like you’re walking down a path of fire.  Give yourself the benefit of courage by sticking to your regular health routine.  Don’t give up your morning constitutional just because there’s a juicy raid on a trucking depot; you can fit the walk in after you do the raid. 

Aquarius –  It’s a great day to hang out with your favorite Virgo, Aquarius.  You’re both in a creative frame of mind so why not use those artistic bents to create something amazing?  You’re like a magician who has the power to bring fantasies to life so hop to it!  Also, it’s a good day to be charitable and generous to others so remember, even if you don’t love your mother-in-law’s meatloaf, smile and make sure you’ve got a large drink and a bottle of bicarbonate to wash it down as you smile and tell her it’s delicious.

Pisces –  Anticipate the problems that you’re likely to encounter and take actions now that will nip them in the bud; make sure you have everything in line so no monkey wrenches derail an important upcoming event in your life, Pisces, nothing is worse than last-minute details. 

Recipe of the Week:

In honor of my good friend Toberius, I’m putting up one amazing sandwich recipe.   This one is for your taste in yummies, but maybe not so much for your musical inclinations. (perhaps I’m not forgiving you just yet for earlier this evening.)

Toby’s Reubens

1 loaf unseeded and unsliced Jewish Rye bread
2 pounds corned beef, sliced (don’t skimp on the corned beef; using home cooked is the best route)
12 ounces Russian dressing, recipe follows
12 ounces sauerkraut
12 slices Swiss cheese
4 tablespoons butter, melted
 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Sprinkle the corned beef with a little water, wrap it tightly in aluminum foil and steam it in the oven. Meanwhile, put the whole loaf of rye bread (unwrapped) into the oven. Bake the bread until the crust is very crunchy, about 15 minutes. Set the bread on the counter and let it cool for about 5 minutes.
When the rye bread is cool enough to handle place it on a cutting board. Hold the bread knife at a 45-degree angle and cut 12 slices.
Take the corned beef out of the oven and unwrap it. Spread each slice of bread with Russian dressing. Layer half of the slices with corned beef, sauerkraut and slices of Swiss cheese, then top the sandwiches with the remaining slices of bread (dressing-side down).

Heat 2 large heavy skillets over medium heat. Brush the bread with butter. Put the sandwiches in the pans and weight them with a lid or heat proof bowl topped with something heavy. Cook until the first sides are crisp and golden about 7 minutes then flip the sandwiches. Cook until the second sides are also well toasted and the cheese is melted. Lift the sandwiches onto a cutting board. Cut each in half diagonally and serve.
 

The best dressing to properly make these awesome sandwiches is always the homemade stuff so here you go:

Russian Dressing for Reubens

3/4 cups mayonnaise
1/4 cup plus 2 to 3 tablespoons chili sauce
2 tablespoons sour cream
2 teaspoons chopped curly parsley leaves
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon minced Spanish onion
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon minced dill pickle
1/2 teaspoon fresh lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon grated horseradish
1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

Combine the mayonnaise, chili sauce, sour cream, parsley, onion, pickle, lemon juice, horseradish and Worcestershire sauce in a bowl and mix well.
 

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As always, if you have an ad you would like printed in the next newspaper, feel free to forward it to the Union Tribune, care of Ariadne

Toberius throws the paper down in disgust. 

I told you that recipe in confidence! My grandmother will kill me for giving out our family's secret recipe. Its a good thing she can't read English, and is in Ireland, and blind, and deaf... 

You know what, never mind. I don't think she'll notice. 

Dom hears his friend Toberius ranting about his grandmothers recipe.

"Tell her I told, I'll take an ear full from granny for you."

He then chuckles and reads the newspaper, which was very well written and an enjoyable read. He then goes off to find the publisher.

JakeLuciano laughs to himself as he reads about the pitiful attempt by the North Side in Chicago 

Another fine read Ariadne keep up the good work