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| A Rourke Salute to Godfather Marietta | Started by: ThomasRourke on Nov 25, '08 22:59 |
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A group of Rourke-ian men wandered into a small room, all holding a candlestick steadily. The phallic candlesticks seemed to vary in size based on each mans comfort with their own manhood. Quagmire, Brian, and Thomas Rourke all had modestly sized candles lit, Eddie Rourke had his playfully protruding from under his robe, Archie had an unseemly candle that had to be tilted to even fit inside the small room, and Telkinrourke was given an unlit candle to which he chewed on the wax. Thomas looked around at the men who were not related, but had coincidental last names. They were all adorned with unfortunately short druid-ish robes that Thomas wished could've been a bit longer, but they were out of stock until next month. They decided that pants made the ensemble look garish so they suffered bare-legged until the new robes came in. Thomas' eyes glanced over the men. There was Quagmire who had spastic movements and couldn't seem to stand still. Then Archie who was rescued from a side show act as "The World's Not So Much Shortest Man, But Generally Shorter Than Other People", he was dwarfed by the other members, however he was still adored equally as a Rourke. Eddie Rourke's eyes danced mischievously in the candlelight and Thomas was surprised to see that Eddie was trying to pick a wedgie that could not actually exist as none of them were wearing underwear. Telkinrourke, who seemed to be hanging upside down from the ceiling clapping and giggling like a child, was their most sought after member. It was said that if the Rourkes didn't recruit him it would bring about the end of days. Finally he came upon Brian Rourke. Thomas had trouble locating him in ill-lit room as Brian was the lone black Rourke. So black indeed that it seemed night wore him as camouflage. Thomas had found Brian wandering the streets of Manchester and the two quickly found they shared the same last name. Together they gathered Rourkes from around the world who had vested interests in organized crime and formed this group... The Mighty Rourkes. Thomas banged a gavel on the wall to get the attention of the other Rourkes. He began, "I call to order the 76th meeting of The Mighty Rourkes, praise be to the Knucklepuck." The others murmured in response, "All its glory upon you." Thomas continued, "We have gathered tonight with special purpose, brothers not related by blood." They recited back, "Our surname gives us deeper ties." "For it is on this night that we celebrate the coronation of a new Godfather in the life of crime we have long enjoyed. A woman who has given us shelter and has been thusly rewarded by the power of the Almighty Bombay. We make her an honorary Rourke tonight by bestowing upon her the Rourke seal." Thomas looked at the men as they replied in turn. "Long live Godfather Marietta, short be the reign of asshole coaches, Iceland, and Eden Hall Academy," they chanted. "Thank you for coming at such short notice, gentlemen. I know you have busy lives earning for your respective leaders, keeping an eye out on the allegiance of Adam Banks, and..." Thomas looked at Telkinrourke "assorted other activities. There's danish out in the lobby, and try not to make a lot of noise, Brian's mom is sleeping upstairs, thank you notes for her letting us use the house are appreciated. Meeting adjourned. Thomas banged the gavel again and awaited the concluding words of his non-genetically collected ilk. The men exclaimed, "Rourkes fly together!" They slowly filed out of the room one by one to the danish table. Thomas was the only Rourke remaining. He summoned a messenger boy and entrusted him with the Rourke seal to be delivered to Godfather Marietta immediately. Their seal was the most important part of their group. It was a duck wearing a mask of some kind with crossing hockey sticks behind it. It was pretty impressive. Thomas nodded in approval to himself and joined the other Rourkes for danish. As he stepped through the doorway he noticed an unmoving body on the floor, impaled by the candle each Rourke was required to hold during the meeting. It was Telkinrourke. "Oh Jesus Christ... Oh Jesus... Who let him hold the sharp candle?! I thought we talked about this." Thomas shook his head and swiped a cheese danish, hoping Brian's mother, Veronicazotz, didn't get too offended by the blood stain. Thomas cleared his throat and gathered in with the rest of the Rourkes to make small talk. |
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How the hell are we supposed to eat these danishes with gimp masks on? *scratches his privates in the comfortable environment* I'd offer to give Marietta my own personal seal, but alas, it seems to have gone mouldy. Congrats Marietta! |
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| Reply by: QuagmireRourke at Nov 26, '08 02:25 | |
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| Congrats Marietta well earned i say well earned | |
| Reply by: Death-Knight at Nov 26, '08 08:02 | |
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Holds up a "Marietta OWNS" flag Congrats my good friend. |
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| Reply by: King_Cav at Nov 26, '08 19:27 | |
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| A most hearty and sincere Congratulations!!!! OMFG! This calls for celebration!! | |
| Reply by: Gambino at Nov 26, '08 21:50 | |
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| Congratz Marietta!! | |
| Reply by: Shadow at Nov 26, '08 21:57 | |
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| Congratz Marietta! | |
| Reply by: Bambi at Nov 26, '08 23:21 | |
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| Congratulations Marietta!! | |
| Reply by: pizza_guy at Nov 27, '08 01:55 | |
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Congratulations Marietta. As a Rourke I know all about success and hard work so I can empathise with your success. Congratulations again and may your reign be a long one. |
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| Reply by: BrianRourke at Nov 27, '08 13:17 | |
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Fu Man Jew stopped by on his way to shabbos dinner to make sure to get together with his brothers from different mothers and fathers and raised a L'Chaim to the Gatza Gevaldik Godmudda that is Marietta. Boobala... you should make your parents proud and they should shep lots of nachas! |
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| Reply by: Fu-ManjuRourke at Dec 01, '08 16:46 | |
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| Concrats Marrietta, on your rank. Good Luck and all the best in the future. | |
| Reply by: Shadow_Demon at Dec 02, '08 06:40 | |
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| Nice job, congratulations. good luck and see you around. | |
| Reply by: Don_Miguel at Dec 02, '08 11:27 | |
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