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| Rourkeback Mountain | Started by: ThomasRourke on Nov 30, '08 01:34 |
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Thomas, Brian, Mickey, Quagmire, and Eddie Rourke were herding sheep in Wyoming that winter. They had decided that since the recent war with Doyle had claimed numerous lives, it would be best to get out of their respective cities for a spell and take in the fresh mountain air. The sheep herding was nice in its simplicity, but they had an ulterior motive. Strapped in the bed of their pick-up truck was the body of young Archie Rourke. His life had been claimed just after the war, and the Rourkes were stunned to see how deeply it impacted them. Without Archie's inferiority complex bringing levity to the rest of the Rourkes the mood was constantly somber. They did luck out financially though; given Archie's incredible physical compactness, they were able to save loads of cash on the casket which measured only about 5'5 in length. The five Rourkes had herded the sheep into a clearing that looked peaceful, and had enough space to satisfy their deceased friend's Napoleonic thirst that had so haunted him in life. They began the bare-chested digging of their friend's burial plot. Brian had suggested they lose the shirts for better mobility, which was strange but acceptable. It was when Brian suggested that they doff their pants that the other Rourkes took pause. Quagmire let out an uneasy "Giggity", and the Rourkes kept digging as if they hadn't heard anything. They had finally put their shovels down with the job completed, and stood solemnly around the grave. Then began an impromptu eulogizing to their fallen friend. Thomas cleared his throat and began, "I've known Archie for 3 years now. He was always a sprightly fellow with a nice word for about 2% of the things we talked about, which is better than no nice words at all I guess. He was smaller than the average man in height, but was large in heart. May he rest now and forever in the eternal kingdom of Bombay. To their surprise as Thomas wrapped up his speech and they were about to say a final "Rourkes fly together" chant to finish the burial, Brian dropped to his knees in tears. They were unsure of what was happening, but Brian kept reciting, "I wish I knew how to quit you, Archie!" The other Rourkes decided to go for a walk in the forest while Brian grieved really obnoxiously. They let the sheep scatter throughout the surrounding woods, because truth be told they had no idea how to herd animals and were unsure why that particular rancher had even handed over his livestock for them to herd to the other side of the mountain. Suddenly they were confronted with a huge, roaming timber wolf. Eddie recoiled in fear and yelped, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S A HUGE, ROAMING TIMBER WOLF!" In the panic, Mickey, whose father (a renowned hitman) had died during the war with Doyle, fired off several rounds from the pistol he had been carrying with him. Six shots all missed their target, and the timber wolf cocked its head to the side and gave a perplexed look as if to say, "I can't has sheep?" The timber wolf then plodded away like a sullen teenager and the danger was avoided. Thomas turned to Mickey and snatched the gun away from him. Thomas began speaking sternly, "I know your father had his fair few amount of kills, Mickey. And I know you are eager to fill his shoes, but for the love of all that is good and holy go to the shooting range! I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF NEWLY ORPHANED CHILDREN FROM THE WAR AGAINST DOYLE, MICKEY, BUT GOOD GOD PLEASE DO ALL THE TRAINING RANGES THAT YOU CAN!" Mickey nodded to affirm that he understood what needed to be done, "I WILL COMPLETE A COURSE OF SHOOTING RANGES BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO BECOME A HITMAN, THOMAS. THANK YOU FOR SETTING ME STRAIGHT." That issue put to bed, the Rourkes walked back to their pick-up and gathered up the weepy Brian. None of the Rourkes questioned his outburst as Brian had his wife, Belma, waiting back home for him. It had been a long few days, and many lessons had been learned on... Rourkeback Mountain (The name of the mountain being just as heavy a coincidence as all of them sharing the same last name and not being related). |
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I'm sorry to hear Archie Rourke has gone off to a better place now. I feel especially bad for that Brian Rourke who seemed to be taking in the worst. One can only tell that he will be visiting the gravesite once a week, and when the harsh winter falls he will go once a month to sit by the grave and just talk about life and how much he misses Archie. My condolences go out to Brian, may he find the peace he once knew within his wife again. |
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| Reply by: Aurora at Nov 30, '08 06:06 | |
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Eddie's sweaty pectorals gleamed in the sunlight, it's rays reflecting into the eyes of civilians as his chest puffed out with each breath, temporarily blinding them. He gazed longingly into the distance, as if expecting to find the criminally undersized corpse of Archie being tossed playfully like a rag doll amongst a pack of wolves; the thought bringing a smile to his face. Oh that Archie. In his heart, though, Eddie was fully aware the corpse was buried just 6 feet beneath him. Deader than Brian's marriage, he was, the poor sod. Oh Archie... |
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| Reply by: EddieRourke at Nov 30, '08 06:28 | |
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| My condolence on Archie's passing Rourkes. But god that Mickey needed to be set straight. He's a loose canon!!! | |
| Reply by: Tither at Nov 30, '08 10:16 | |
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*notices the Rourke's while attending to his marijuana gardens in the valleys of Wyoming* Hey. You guys no about this place?!? *thinking their coming to steal his Ganja plants that grow wild in this forebidden area* *notices them burying the young fallen Rourke and steps in to pay his respect as well* RIP my friend |
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| Reply by: Bossman_Marley at Nov 30, '08 11:26 | |
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mmmmmmmmmm sheep herding. and when I say 'sheep herding' I mean................ well, you can guess. *Hurds uber sheep to try to cover my feeling over my Rourkish loss* Can we go skiing next year? |
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| Reply by: QuagmireRourke at Nov 30, '08 16:33 | |
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Fuman stopped by to pay final respects to his brother from a different mother and father, he bowed his head, said kaddish and then scream outloud.. OOOOOOOOOOOY GEEEEEVAAALYT!!!!!!! I came here without my shnaps and gefita fish! Say, any of you menches got any stashed away? |
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| Reply by: Fu-ManjuRourke at Dec 01, '08 16:42 | |
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*Quagmire utters an audible 'giggety oh'* OY VAY FU! *hands over his emergency rations* *gesticulates wildly* |
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| Reply by: QuagmireRourke at Dec 01, '08 16:53 | |
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mmm.. oy...this is good stuff... but I need a bissle cracker! I know. got any of those wafers? you know, back when I was a kinder, I sang in church to make a living and I always was hungry... man, I loved those wafers that I found in the back room.. but the wine was really bad. |
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| Reply by: Fu-ManjuRourke at Dec 01, '08 17:13 | |
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*Quagmire takes Fu back to Rourke HQ for his welcome feast* The wine still sucks I'm afraid fella. |
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| Reply by: QuagmireRourke at Dec 01, '08 17:23 | |
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Thomas puts a finger to his lips as they enter the Rourke HQ, which doubles as the house belonging to Brian's mom We have to whisper, Brian's mother, Veronicazotz, is sleeping. |
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| Reply by: ThomasRourke at Dec 01, '08 17:58 | |
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| To be honest, I think that Belma chick is pretty freaking sexy. Maybe BrianRourke should start appreciating what he has at home, instead of fantasizing what could have been... | |
| Reply by: Marietta at Dec 03, '08 16:01 | |
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Wondering what exactly Miss Marietta is really up to. One would think that a none breeding realationship between Rourkes would fall right into what it is she wants.... Woman, what is it that you really want? Charly falls off his stool that he has been resting on, put was it out of confusion or his own drunken fault. |
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| Reply by: Charly at Dec 06, '08 11:27 | |
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A tear stained face appears After days of endless sobbing I can finally say that I miss you Archie. More than you will ever know. My heart hurts when I even begin to think about the loss the 7 Cities (mostly me) has felt here. Hopefully Belma can step her game up and become more like the man you were. Rest in Peace fair Archie. Brian breaks down once more |
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| Reply by: BrianRourke at Dec 06, '08 13:28 | |
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