The idea to ask this question came to me when a cousin of mine came to Serbia from Germany yesterday. His mother and my mother are sisters, but he doesn't speak a word of Serbian even though his parents are both Serbian. He speaks German and poor English. This greatly annoys both my mother and her parents as they think their nephew and grandson should be taught the language of his blood. My aunt's argument is that they taught him German because he's gonna live and work there and they want him to become German, not Serbian and therefore he doesn't need to know Serbian.

Now I don't really know what to think on this matter. On the one hand, I think one should never forget their true heritage and where they came from and should pass it down to their kids. On the other hand, if I'm going to raise my kids in a foreign land then it's a little disrespectful to put that country's culture and language after my native.

What are your thoughts on this? Should children of immigrants be primarily taught their native language or the language of the country they chose to live in?

I think if possible, children of immigrants should know their cultural language. Several of my friends shunned their cultural language as teenagers and is only now starting to learn it as adults. It's great to learn different languages, and if you have a personal connection to it, even better. I think it would only enhance your cousin's skills and give him more depth if he knew both languages.

"...and they want him to become German, not Serbian and therefore he doesn't need to know Serbian."

You can never deny who you are...he may be German in nationality, but if his mom thinks just because he doesn't speak Serbian will make him more German, that's not good.

I don't think it's a matter of putting anything first or second. It's not uncommon for children of immigrants to speak one language at home (or a mix), and another outside of the home. Maybe I see it differently because I'm American, and stuff like this is not uncommon where I live.

I grew up learning my mother tongue in the house, and english at school and round the neighbourhood due to the multi-cultural nature.  Since have picked up bits of other languages but is something i enjoy and have worked in Germany, Greece, Spain, Portugal and france for bar and hotel work picking up enough to work with and a few profanities.  I enjoy it, but see no harm in both