Cursing her choice of clothing, Ziva picked her way through the trees to the spot she was supposed to meet SnidelyWhiplash at. A strange place for a meeting, yes, but there was something she just couldn't shake off, a number of strange occurrences that had left her more than a little perturbed. She needed someone she could trust to help her with this, and who better than one the newer members of her trusted ranks? Snidely, she was sure, would be more than capable of dealing with the issue at hand.. after all, it was, surely, such a small problem.

FUCKING HELL OW!

Ziva threw a hand out to catch hold of a tree break her fall. She knew that heels were a bad choice for a jaunt into the woodland, but she somehow felt that she wasn't dressed to deal with the day unless she had a proper, businesslike outfit on. Besides, once she reached the clearing, the ground would be less bumpy, and something told her that she wanted to look as sane and normal as possible when she spoke to Snidely. Hearing a sound behind her, she whipped around, her eyes searching all over the bushes and behind the trees. Taking a deep breath, she muttered something about focus to herself, and continued walking, til she caught sight of Snidely waiting atop a mossy rock. Looking around her once more, she hurries over to him, and drops her voice.

Snidely, I'm so glad to see you. We have a problem. And, I'm NOT crazy. It's the beavers man. Have you even seen those things? I swear, they're bigger, they're tougher, and they're EVIL. I saw one sat outside the HQ yesterday, I mean, you know what it's like at the HQ, people coming and going all day, it's never just quiet, and beavers are supposed to be timid and shy right? Not this guy! He just sat staring at my office window all day! I think they're out to get us. I don't know who sent them, I don't know why, but these things are up to something!

Hearing a twig crack, Ziva draws her gun and spins around, but trips over a stone and lands on her arse.

See what they're doing to me?! I can't take it anymore, we have to put a stop to this!

Brushing the dirt from her fall of her dress, Ziva smooths over her hair.

I knew I should've brought an associate over to take one for the team and check.

Ziva pulls out her gun and fires off several shots so as not to feel outdone.

I have my suspicious Snidely, I do, and I'll be honest with you, I'm sure it's one of our competitors! I've heard Solastalgia making all kinds of strange mumblings lately, about... flash bangs? Rocket launchers? He had a whole list of things I've never heard of, and he told me he was carrying them around in a duffel bag, it sounded most odd! I mean, if he's capable of going on about these bang flashers, I wouldn't think that liaising with the overlord of a dam of beavers and convincing them to rise up against our crew would be much of a stretch of the imagination!

Shuddering a little, she takes a couple of deep, calming breaths.

A plan.. yes.. we need a plan.. I say, we get ourselves a nice big sack, and chase the beavers around the woods until one of them jumps in the bag, then we take it back to the HQ, tie it up in Midol's office, shine some lights on the fucker and get some answers!

Seeing the slightly incredulous expression on Snidely's face, she clears her throat.

Of.. course... beavers don't talk. But these bastards have such expressive eyes! I swear, they know what we're SAYING Snidely! But um.. I'm definitely NOT crazy. Definitely not. I am not consental to being called crazy!

So.. we follow one! We follow it all day, and we wait and see if it goes back to Solastalgia! And if it does, we'll know he's finally done it and enlisted the beavers to help him take over the world!

Snidely, you gem! A body bag in your jacket! Genius! But now you said don't ask, I mean, I HAVE to ask! Are you always so prepared!?

Now, as for bait... I think you're quite right! If Solastalgia really has been training these devious little critters, they'll definitely be going back to him regularly with progress reports! Right Snidely, I'd never ask you to do something I wouldn't do... I'll be the bait! I will happily lay my life, my future down on the line, anything to beat back the evil beaver from hell tide! So, once we have our bagged up beaver... wait, what are we doing once we bag it? OOOH, can we retrain it and keep it as a pet!? I could call him Prince Nigel McBeaverson the 4th!

Right, Snidely. I'm ready. BRING ON THE EVIL.

Taking a deep breath, Ziva lets out an almighty scream, falls to her knees, shaking and yelling, grabbing on to Snidely's shirt and in a choked voice, gasping out

Tell Midol to feed the goldfish in my office. She's the only chance Prince Nigel McFisherson the 4th has!

before flinging herself to the floor, eyes shut.

Almost shaking with excitement at the capture of one of the beavers, Ziva practically floats to her feet.

Of course I'm still alive! Nigel McBeaverson the 4th would never hurt me!

Sticking her hand into the bag, Ziva begins to mutter to the captured beaver.

Who's the cutest little Prince Nigel McBeaverson in the world? You are! Yes you are! You...ARRRRRRRRRRGHRRRRR!

Ziva yanks her bitten hand out of the bag, and gives the bag a hard kick for good measure.

Snidely, Nigel just fucking bit me! The bastard! I think you're right. I think we have to expect the worst Snidely.

She turns to Snidely, and looks him somberly in the eyes.

I think we might have to prepare for the fact that war between ourselves and the beavers has broken out. Hope for the best, my friend, but expect the worst, for beavers are one of the most ferocious of foes, most fearsome of fiends! We will fight them from every corner of the Loop! We will fight them out of the cleaning cupboards of the fort! We will fight them out of the stashes of hubcaps! WE WILL FIGHT.

Ziva looks up to the skies heroically.

Snidely, sacrifices will have to be made. We will fight, but we may not all survive. And, I'm afraid, the first sacrifice, will be Midol's office furniture. That will most definitely NOT survive, because Prince Nigel McBeaverBastardson will be taking up residence there. We will get to the bottom of this mystery!

Let us take him back to the fort, lock him in the office, and stand guard for the inevitable rescue attempts his brothers in evil killer beaveryness will make!

Nursing her incredibly swollen, beaver bitten finger, Ziva makes her way into the kitchen to dig out some ice, or at least run it under some cold water. Silently thanking god that Prince Nigel McBeaverson the 4th had bitten her and therefore she was unable to go and explain to Midol why, exactly, a demonic beaver from the darkest reaches of beavery hell would now be taking up residence in her office - at least, unable to go and explain for the time being, she stuck her hand under the tap and silently debated whether or not it might be worth heading over to the bar to see if the ice bucket was full.

Deciding that the matter of dealing with the rest of this evil beaver clan was more important than running around after ice, she decides to face the music, as it were, and explain to Midol. She just about reaches Midol's office door in time to hear Snidely give his manner of explanation and high tail it out the door. Calling after him, she shouts

Snidely, my office, we can't leave this job half done!

Turning to Midol, she gives a big smile, which only falters slightly when she sees the look on Midol's face.

Y'see Midol, what it is - and I am definitely, one hundred percent NOT crazy, but, we are at war.

Seeing Midol's hand twitch down to draw her gun, Ziva hurries to give her some assurances.

Not that kind of war, no! This war is silent, this war is hard, this war, is small and furry!

Catching a glimpse of the downright incredulity written all over Midol's face, she hastens to add

I'm NOT crazy! Honestly Midol, you haven't seen them! There was one just sat outside the building yesterday, I could see it from my office window, just staring at me! They're out to get us! I'm quite sure Solastalgia has been liaising with an evil beaver dam, and they are preparing to kill us all! That little guy in your office - Prince Nigel McBeaverson the 4th, he's a tricky little bugger! I'm going to keep him as a pet. But uh... perhaps in Prozac's office rather than yours?

Ziva flashes Midol a winning smile and grabs the kidnapped beaver's sack, dragging him outside the HQ before flinging the bag through Prozac's open office window, and running back around to meet Snidely in her own office before further questions can be asked.

Slight change of plan Snidely. McBeaverson will be living in Prozac's office for the time being! Now, as for the rest of them. There has to be something we can do.

Ziva sighs, starting to lapse into deep thought about how to solve the terrible tribulation that had been brought down on her crew, her head idly turning to the window.

HOLY FLAMING HUBCAPS OF BACON!

Outside, staring through her window, with unholy sized teeth and expressions of barely contained fury, were two large beavers - clearly enforcer types. Always one for the rational reaction, Ziva flings herself under her desk and points her gun at the window.

Snidely, quick, look! They're coming to take their revenge!

Slightly offended at the suggestion she had been taking some kind of odd medicine, Ziva shakes her head profusely, muttering to herself

I'm NOT making this up and I'm NOT crazy. Those beavers are real man! As real as real can really be! They're hear, and they don't care what damage they do! We're all going to wake up dead, mark my words!

Hearing the strange sounds of tiny little beavery feet wreaking havoc in the downstairs part of her head quarters; the part which housed the bar and the family meeting rooms as well as the large kitchen, and the slightly feminine screams of some of the big, tough men of her crew, the kind she may expect more of a controlled reaction from - Prozac, Eddy, Tommy, and the like - as well as the sound of a gunshot shattering through a window followed by a scream of "GODDAMNIT!" that sounded suspiciously like Torgo_Nudho, Ziva hurried out after Snidely to investigate.. from a safe distance, of course.

Running to the top of the staircase, she notes the large hole through the front door, which had been a highly polished mahogany affair, and now was a highly polished mahogany demented beaver chew toy. Letting out a bloodcurdling scream, she high tails it across the landing and flings herself into Midol's office, pulling a more than a little astonished Midol out of her chair and into a corner, a cushion hiding her face and her gun poking out over the top.

As the door bangs open again, Ziva squeaks in fear and peeks over the edge of the cushion, and upon catching sight of Snidely, her face melts in relief. As he begins to speak, she pulls him over into the corner.

Momentiraly distracted by the fate of several of her prized sofas, obtained on a boredom induced trip to hijack the moving truck from a house a couple of blocks away, Ziva stomps her foot and murmers something about cursing beavers to the blackest pitches of hell; a sentiment that it appears Midol shares following the news of the ornate end table. The things those beavers could do with their teeth! Unable to stop a delicate shudder, she considers Snidely's words about the next move for the crew.

Snidely, you know me. As much as I'd love to stay here and hide, we can't lose anymore ornate end tables or other assorted pieces of fine furniture to this fight. For the sake of everything antique and there to hold our drinks, we must hit back. Spread the word to our hitters; they must hunt down these nefarious, malevolent hellions! And you and I, we will pay a little visit to Solastalgia, and see what he knows...

"Faster, faster!"

Solastalgia directed his bodyguard, Hamchop, to speed up his painfully slow process of throwing box after box of documents that were compiled as evidence against Solastalgia in his impending counter-suit with Mr_Pickles;  the small of fresh paper burning wasn't something he relished in, but desperate times resorted in Solastalgia taking desperate measures, even resorting to the hiring of a personal army of paper and metal-hungry beavers in an attempt to destroy what little evidence remained combined with the hope of fearful dissuasion, and while Solastalgia wasn't quite sure what they would accomplish with the entirety of Fort Hubcap as their target, part of him hoped that in the absence of evidence destruction, the beavers would at least inflict severe bodily harm on the self-styled tyrant of East Chicago; just short of killing him, at least.

As documents that shed light on the more unsavoury aspects of The Long Island Enqurier burned in the incinerator, Solastalgia's bodyguard, Larry Lance Jr., descended down upon the two.

"There's someone here to see you, Godfather.  From Fort Hubcap. She seems like she was bitten by something - she looks a little rabid."

"Ah, shit.  Why did you let her in? This is a consental office, Lance.  You let people in when I say so."  Solastalgia shrugged, as he lifted himself up from his chair and found himself in reception.  As much as he enjoyed the company of Ziva on normal occasions, the forced smile on his face couldn't have been more out of place as he fully knew that an army of trained beavers had more than likely ravaged part of her kingdom in The Loop. But, alas, Solastalgia thought - it was for the greater good.  He was well on his way to finally winning his prolonged war with Pickles.  As he greeted Ziva, he noticed a small loop of gauze slung around her finger, wrapped around what appeared to be a cotton pad that had blood partially soaked through it.  Without so much as missing a beat, he tried his hardest to dismiss what he just saw before segueing into conversation.

"Ziva! So happy to see you, my dear. What brings you to North Side?"

Eyes full of fire, Ziva stalks into Solastalgia's office and flops herself down on the desk. Seeing Solastalgia falter a little as he noted the dressing on her beaver ravaged finger, she decides to change tack. Looking utterly worn out and defeated, she starts to sob out her tale of woe.

Sola, you wouldn't believe it. You really wouldn't. Things.. well.. it's.... it's just.. it's terrible!

Ziva takes a handkerchief and dabs at her eyes.

I'm not crazy. It's not my imagination. It's not my mind playing tricks on me. It's a gang of malevolent hell-sent demon beavers. Even Prince Nigel McBeaverson the 4th turned on me. You should see the teeth, see the eyes, full of rabid insanity... it's terrifying! My head quarters is in shreds, my right hand woman is just about ready to have me shipped off to some sort of institution, and Snidely here is just about to declare hunting season open.

You have to help me Sola. They're indiscriminate, they're crazy... and until something can be done about them, I'm hiding right here! Yes!

Ziva can't help but let a tiny smile creep out as she notices the expression of horror on Solastalgia's face; it seems her suspicions could be right on the mark, and that the presence of Hubcapian's here will lead the rabid crowd of beavers in too.

Infact Snidely, I think you should gather some of the other too... and some teabags. And milk. And perhaps the bottle of whiskey I keep in my desk draw for accounts day. And a few of the newspapers on my desk too. And the signed photograph of Cpt-.... er, forget that last one.

Sola, thank you for taking us in and keeping us safe!

She gives her astonished and slightly shocked looking friend a quick hug before settling herself down in a comfy looking armchair, and producing what appears to be the start of a knitted wollen scarf. With a look of deep concentration on her face, she begins to knit.

The sudden and horrific death of her mother had left Susannah shocked to the core, and having taken a few days to settle in to the world her mother had left behind, she felt she was finally finding her feet. There was, however, the tiniest of hitches. She seemed to be being followed by a somewhat demonic looking beaver. Surely though, she was imagining things? Taking a walk through the winding streets of Chicago, she happened upon SnidelyWhiplash, ducked in a back alley, gun pointed at what must surely be the fiend to have been stalking her earlier. Knowing her gun would be of little help in this situation, she took a deep breath, and snuck up behind the beaver, giving it a swift roundhouse kick to the head. As the fiend lay unconcious on the ground, she turned to Snidely and held out her hand.

Snidely, what on earth is happening? I'm sure this very beaver was stalking me around earlier today, and I can't imagine why! Perhaps we can grab a cup of coffee somewhere less exposed and you can tell me what the hell is going on? Is it perhaps... something to do with.. my mother?

Susannah bowed her head slightly at these words. In a way, the girl was clutching at straws, desperate to understand the events that had taken Ziva out of this world so swiftly and unexpectedly. Although officially, it was an act of the Gods, she couldn't help but wonder... were these beavers involved? Could the act of the Gods have been to set these beavers on her mother? She hadn't actually seen her mothers body, after all. The funeral director had advised her that events had left the corpse in such a state that a closed casket funeral was by far the most advisable option. Turning to Snidely, she lowered her voice, feeling it break a little under the weight of her words.

I'm afraid Snidely. I don't know how to handle rampant beaver attacks, I'm too new to this world for this!