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| CP Calls Out Judas Ex Member | Started by: JudasCP on Dec 07, '08 20:00 |
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CP Calls Out Judas Ex Member: Throws 20 Pieces of Silver in his Fat Face "Then after about an hour had passed, another confidently affirmed, saying, "Surely this fellow also was with Him, for he is a Galilean." But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!" Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And Peter remembered the word of Jesus, which said to him, Before the cock crow, you shall deny me thrice. And he went out, and wept bitterly." Lk 22.59-60 This evening, the group of individuals known as The CP (Cock Pushers) have announced that for the first time in their colourful history, an individual member has been expelled from the society in the interests of upholding internal standards, particularly Bye Law 14 of the CP Rules, entitled "Not Fraternising with the Enemy." Camazotz Johnson, formerly known as CamazotzCP, received notice of the expulsion while playing Guitar Hero and taking photographs of bolognaise sauce. Upon reading it, his eyes filled with tears but for a brief moment, until his sobs were drowned out by a chorus of "GAYZ0R!!!" and "AMIRITE?????????" Speaking at a Mr_DW remembrance service, FakeManCP (founder of the group), was heard to remark, "He's a fannying Judas. We knew his time in the group was numbered when he started greeting numerous members of the hated #divinelunacy coffee shop with such niceties as 'Hi Guy.' To be completely honest, I hope he gets syphilis. Like the other one." The formal statement from the group, signed by remaining members (FakeManCP, El_NinoCP, AntonioCP, TeslerCP, gregz0r, TallienCP, BooeyCP, BrianArao, FullMetalCP), was received by all the major news networks at approximately 6pm this evening. It read, "It is with great sadness and disappointment that we have been forced to take this drastic decision in respect of the membership of Camazotz Johnson. However, his actions, and in some cases his inactions, have left us no choice in the matter. Cam, you go back years with every single person in this group. We have all wacked together, lived together, and died together on numerous occasions. But in recent months, you have turned your back on all that. And for what? For the seasonal adoration of the bilious masses which, like the leaves on the trees, will come and go with each changing wind? CP have never been particularly popular. We have never been particularly admired by the ruling class. But one thing we have always been, is united. We cannot allow your behaviour to go unremarked upon or unchecked. Despite numerous requests from the inner circle for you to reinstate your CP on your name on IRC avenue, and indeed a formal warning on one occasion, your impropriety has prevailed. This, combined with reported indiscretions on IRC avenue (see Appendix A) has forced our hand. You are no longer a CP. You are banished from both the inner circle and the general group. We remain your friend in shores far from these. But no longer can we sustain such insubordinate behaviour from within. God speed, old friend. To the remaining members: Unlike the replacement procedure that followed Mr_DW's accident, there will be no new member incoming to fill the significant void left by Mr Johnson. A period of reflection and meditation on the future is the most appropriate course of action for us now." It is thought that some inner dispute has emerged in recent days, following the refusal of one titaCP (General Group Member) to sign the statement. Speaking while having sex at a bus stop, gregz0r (Inner circle member and former table, cheese and fox during his CP playing days) assured reporters that the next Inner Sanctum meeting would review her behaviour and decide sanctions as appropriate. Appendix A <optimus> Just finished packing up my room. Still having back cramps though. <camazotz> What? <optimus> Never mind. Btw, tell the rest of that CP lot to get back on IRC. <camazotz> Man, I don't even know who you're talking about. Is that a cock crowing? <sprozz> Hey guy <camazotz> Sup man? <sprozz> Not much, just back from a date with Megan Fox. <camazotz> Nice work man <sprozz> Yeah, I'm looking for people to PM about it. Btw man, check out that shit in #divine. It's fucking terrible. <camazotz> You're right. Someone should say something. <sprozz> Yeah....so...Seen any of the other CP guys around? <camazotz> I do not know them. <sprozz> What, aren't you one of them? <camazotz> Man, I'm totally not And Jesus saith unto him, Verily I say unto thee, That this day, even in this night, before the cock crow twice, thou shalt deny me thrice. <belle> Hey cutie <camazotz> Easy <belle> Any word on me joining CP yet? <camazotz> What, why would I know anything about that?? <belle> Because you're certainly with them, right? <camazotz> I don't know what you're saying!! Cock-a-doodle-doo.</camazotz></belle></camazotz></belle></camazotz></belle></camazotz></sprozz></camazotz></sprozz></camazotz></sprozz></camazotz></sprozz></camazotz></sprozz></camazotz></optimus></camazotz></optimus> |
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| I did shag Megan Fox right up her poo shooter as well in all fairness. | |
| Reply by: Oasis at Dec 07, '08 20:04 | |
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I lol at Oasis... The closest he got to Megan Fox was his hand and some pictures. I bet it was still fun tho... <3 |
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| Reply by: Ganelon at Dec 07, '08 20:51 | |
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| Who needs pictures when you have an imagination as vivid as mine? | |
| Reply by: Oasis at Dec 07, '08 21:56 | |
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Sounds like this has been a long time coming. It seems like the best move for the betterment of your group. Hey cutie. |
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| Reply by: Aurora at Dec 08, '08 00:54 | |
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Massive Lolz at El_NinoCP. You forgot however, HoopiCP, MikadoCP, TitaCP and its top top top top member ZebedeeCP |
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| Reply by: El_Nino at Dec 08, '08 02:15 | |
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| And SkorpeonCP | |
| Reply by: Skorpeon at Dec 08, '08 09:24 | |
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| I feel dirty. | |
| Reply by: Guy at Dec 08, '08 09:50 | |
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| Thank goodness no one mentioned SprozzCP... | |
| Reply by: Fu-ManjuRourke at Dec 08, '08 12:36 | |
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| What about EepsterCP and BelleCP. | |
| Reply by: Sebastian at Dec 12, '08 23:06 | |
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| BirdayCP was the worst of the bunch. | |
| Reply by: Zoey at Dec 12, '08 23:26 | |
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I disagree. ross89CP was far worse. |
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| Reply by: Vicodin at Dec 13, '08 09:27 | |
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| I don't know I thought KendraCP was the true killer of the group | |
| Reply by: TheJackal at Dec 14, '08 21:08 | |
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| Has everyone forgotten the mighty PremierCP (Yes CP even got him to spell his name right MADNESS) | |
| Reply by: Necrosis at Jan 05, '09 06:39 | |
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