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| RourkenRolla | Started by: ThomasRourke on Dec 10, '08 11:17 |
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As per usual, the Rourkes gathered in the house belonging to Brian's mom for their meeting. Since their last congregation, the group had metastasized in size and had added several new members. So there they sat: Thomas, Quagmire, Fu, Brian, OneTwo, Waffles, Mickey, Phatballz, Rourkey, and Eddie, all waiting for someone to say something. The tradition of first speaker was upheld when the eldest Rourke, Thomas, began speaking. "So, Marietta has informed me that we have a new Heroin supplier for Detroit. We're not sure if the stuff is legit, so we need someone to give it a test run." Thomas paused and placed a needle out on the table in front of the other Rourkes. "I know it's not the most ideal situation to be placed in, but it's vital that we know this stuff will be the best at market." The Rourkes began to buzz with nervous chatter at who would be chosen. Quagmire was spasming in uncontrollable tics and "Giggity"s. Thomas raised a hand to silence the other Rourke men. "I've already consulted the Great Bombay Statue for guidance. It has led me to the conclusion that it certainly can't be Fu, because he follows a mystical religion that none of us understand. Therefore, there may be guidelines on drug use that we are not privy to. So, with that it has been decided that Brian must be the guinea pig." The rest of the Rourkes nodded their heads solemnly at Brian. Brian meanwhile had begun looking bewildered at the turn the night had taken. He began to speak frantically. "Well now wait a second, you didn't even explain why none of the others could do it! You explained Fu, and then that was it. That doesn't seem right. And this is my house! Why do I have to smoke heroin?" Phatballz rolled his eyes at Brian, and spoke, "You're going to be injecting it, what is the matter with you?" Thomas nodded. "The Great Bombay Statue told this to me during deep meditation, I'm sorry man." "That is outrageous, guy! Why would it point me out?" Brian asked obviously flustered. Thomas replied calmly, "Because of what happened on Rourkeback Mountain, Brian. Where you... Questionably mourned for Archie. You need to re-prove your worth to your dear wife Belma. She's aged many years, my dear friend, many more than you or I ever could. She doesn't have much time left, so you have to try to make her happy while you can." Brian's jaw dropped and he asked, "How exactly does shooting heroin make her happy?!" Thomas chuckled and continued, "Oh silly Brian. Belma wants a RourkenRolla. RourkenRollas don't play by the rules. They shoot heroin to keep their edge. You want to be with Belma don't you?!" Brian nodded furiously. "Well then you need to become a RourkenRolla and play with guns while putting heroin in your arm." Thomas nodded as he finished speaking. "Did you ever have to do that to impress a girl?" Brian asked while fidgeting in his seat. Thomas scoffed, "No, I just ask them on dates, but you're the 2nd Rourke in the group, I'm the first, there's something to be said about the original print. Trust me on this, heroin will really up your sales value." Brian nodded and took the needle and injected himself. Within minutes he began moaning and drooling on his mother's furniture. "Well that's gross," Mickey said with a grimace. "Let's go to the zoo." The other Rourkes agreed this would probably be a good way to spend a Wednesday and left Brian to RourkenRolla all over Veronicazotz's furniture. |
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*Quagmire takes advantage of Brains catatonic state and 'giggety's' the bejesus out of him. OH! |
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| Reply by: QuagmireRourke at Dec 11, '08 07:21 | |
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| This is disturbing on many levels. Poor, poor Brian, you fool. As much as Thomas peer pressured you, I'm rather sure Belma will not approve. | |
| Reply by: Marietta at Dec 11, '08 13:04 | |
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Stares at the lot of them. Does this mean no Zoo? |
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| Reply by: MickeyRourke at Dec 11, '08 13:14 | |
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| I am more tasty than any animal you will find at a zoo damnit! | |
| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at Dec 11, '08 13:15 | |
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We don't need to go to a zoo seeing as we have elephant-sized BrianRourke to keep us all company. I've had a lot of distractions since I've been here in L.A. This is a distraction. This is a fire-in-a-barrel. This is a distraction-in-a-fire-in-a-barrel. Any questions? |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Dec 11, '08 13:21 | |
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| Put le fire out! | |
| Reply by: SirSammyRourke at Dec 11, '08 13:23 | |
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