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| BrianRourke's Untimely Demise (RP) | Started by: RourkeyRourke on Dec 12, '08 11:29 |
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BrianRourke awoke one beautiful Sunday morning to the sounds of birds chirping and squirrels singing lovely lilts outside of his window. He lumbered out of bed and into the washroom to clean up before starting his usual daily chores of cleaning the Godmother's shoes. Brian suddenly heard a knock on his door and thought to himself, "I don't have any friends, who could this be?" Brian casually sauntered to his front door and opened it. To his amazement, RourkeyRourke stood there with a gun pointed at his head. Brian wet his pants in fear. Rourkey pulled the trigger and BrianRourke collapsed in a giant heap on his doorstep. Rourkey quickly holstered his gun and left the scene. A few hours later a stray dog came across the corpse and bit off BrianRourke's penis. The dog quickly scampered off with the cold, dead member in his mouth until he was able to bury it in a nearby vacant lot. The dog was disappointed in the small size, but was pleased to have a sacred treasure hidden underground should he ever need it. No one noticed BrianRourke's disappearance as he was quite unpopular with ladies, men, and lampposts. |
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Word has it that an archaelogical team of experts on the findings of unpopular tiny penis' is starting an excavation already. They intend to clone and reproduce as the cocktail weiner market has gone belly up. or something. |
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| Reply by: QuagmireRourke at Dec 12, '08 11:47 | |
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A few years go by and no one misses BrianRourke. Rourkey polishes his plaque to commemorate the execution of Brian and pours himself a celebratory glass of cabernet sauvignon. |
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| Reply by: RourkeyRourke at Dec 12, '08 11:50 | |
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Aurora hears the news that her beloved BrianRourke has been gunned down in his own home. Unable to form a proper sentence she collapses to the floor. This can't be true. There's no way. I refuse to believe it. After this small breakdown, she picks herself up off the floor and grabs her gun. I will find the man that did this and end his life. That guy who said girls can't shoot, obviously hasn't seen anything yet. |
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| Reply by: Aurora at Dec 12, '08 19:23 | |
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Brian awoke on the Pathologists table. A bullet slowly exiting his brain back the way it had entered. Further down from Brians head (below his belt line) something much more exciting was taking place. Where the nub of his once small penis stood was growing an enormous beast of a schlong known as "Goliath". Tattooed down one side of the penis was the phrase "Welcome aboard the good ship BrianRourke. Please enjoy your visit. Breakfast will be served at 8am sharp and then you may retire to the aft of the ship for games and a movie. We will be returning to Dock when yer nan wakes up. Thank you for reading". It was a magnificent tattoo. Your mum loved it. "Well fuck me running." He exclaimed using all the exclamational prowess that people have come to expect from a 57 time RHM. Slowly, Brian got to his feet and made his way unsteadily to the door. "Where is Rourkey?" The enraged Giant screamed at the top of his voice. "I'll do his nan for this!" Brian exited the door in a flash and started to make his way directly to his house, stopping only to stock up on condoms (he'd be needing these later). Aurora just HAD to be there. Brian had a horrible feeling that something terrible had happened to his 'your mom'. (Thanks for the help on that word Belle, greatly appreciated. Really goes nicely with the rest of that paragraph, that's what I love about it. You spoil me.) He had to save her. |
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| Reply by: BrianRourke at Dec 12, '08 22:11 | |
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