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| It happened one (Awesome) night | Started by: Awesome on Dec 13, '08 05:03 |
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It was a dark and stormy night. And there was rain. It was also cold and windy. One of those horrible times that all reasonable people rightly dislike. But in his awesome apartment, and in his awesome bed, Awesome slept like a baby. He even wore those one-piece pyjama suits that babies wear. And he had a baby mobile above his bed. Little toy sheep hung down from it and appeared to run around in circles. Because they did. Well, not quite run. They only appeared to run. But they did, as their appearance suggests, do whatever it was they were actually doing in circles. These mobiles were an awesome invention. Designed just a few short years ago in good 'ol '31. That man deserved a medal. The sound of footsteps echoed slowly across the room and stopped. Heavy breathing could be heard if one were around to hear them. The figure reached slowly into the folds of its cloak and removed from it the shape of a handgun. Well, to be perfectly precise and grammatically correct, he removed from it a device shaped like a handgun. But I, as the anonymous and impartial Narrator, hope that it is not a handgun. Hopefully just a water pistol. Because if it was a handgun then it might soon follow that the figure will shoot Awesome in the face. Which wouldn't be a good thing. Mainly because I'd be out of a job. But also-mainly because I like Awesome. He's like, all awesome and stuff. Brings joy to my heart. But, that is sadly what this mysterious figure decided to do. Or accidentally did. He shot at Awesome in the face. And my fears were true. T'wasn't a water pistol. T'was a real handgun with at least one real bullet. But, hark! The herald angels do sing ... and smile kindly upon the sleeping figure of Awesome; the bullet missed! BANG! The shot shook the room with a sound that could wake a sleeping elephant. But, Awesome, not being a sleeping elephant, did not wake. He slept on. And on. And on. And the figure who shot at him ran. And ran. And ran. |
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It was just a few short hours later. It was still dark and windy, but luckily for those who might still be awake and outside, the storm had died, and so the rain had stopped. But the coldness remained. It often does in winter. The bastard. And in his bed, still sound asleep, lay the sleeping Awesome. A thumb in his mouth. An arm around a fluffy bunny rabbit. Not a real, living, breathing bunny rabbit, of course. That would just be odd. Awesome wasn't, after all, a nut case who slept with real, living, breathing bunny rabbits. It was obviously dead. He looked content. No doubt dreaming good dreams. Dreams of oranges, perhaps? Or of little children falling off docks and into the sea, maybe? Or of setting fire to bunny rabbits, possibly? Or if tonight was a truly special night, of all three. T'would be a night to remember, all through the house, with not a creature stirring, except for the dark and ominous looking figure that had secretly and silently slipped into both Awesome's house and bedroom. Wow. I didn't see that one coming. The appearing-to-suddenly-appear-out-of-nowhere-but-actually-having-appeared-from-somewhere-but-done-so-without-appearing-to-do-so figure approached the sleeping Awesome. In his hand was a gun. Whether or not this figure, and indeed this gun, was the same figure, and the same gun, was unknown. Except by the figure, of course. But not the gun. The gun didn't have knowledge. But it did have bullets. Which is scary. For me, at least. Slowly, the scary figure pressed the barrel of the gun into Awesome's temple. And this is a moment of tension. A close-up shot. What will happen? How will it affect the following events? Will Awesome die? Will he live? A key moment here in the story of Awesome. And with that in my mind, but not in his, the figure pulled the trigger. Pfft. Heh. No bullets. What a silly fellow. And he ran. And ran. And ran. Hopefully, he's crying to himself. Sad at how pathetic he is. And at how awesome Awesome is. That's how I would feel. Being him. Terrible thought, I know, being that man. Like, a nightmare to the dream of being the sleeping fellow who's life had come close to an end twice just this very night. You know, Awesome? Yeah. You'd agree. Obviously. And you'd do so eagerly. Also-obviously. 'Tis understandable. And Awesome slept. And awoke in the morning feeling fresh and recovered. And, drum roll please ... ... ... feeling awesome. |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 13, '08 05:03 | |
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