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| An Awesome night-time adventure | Started by: Awesome on Dec 14, '08 10:15 |
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Awesome skulked. He did this because he didn't want to be seen. And because he found it fun. He was all about the having fun. If you can't have fun then why bother? A life without fun is like a box of chocolates without the chocolates. Empty, get it? So, there he was. Skulking. Oh, and did I mention he was not alone? No? Well, then, he was not alone. Someone was with him. Joining him in the act of skulking. This person was probably skulking for the same reasons as Awesome. Because he/she did not want to be seen. Because he/she found it fun. But don't ask me. I'm not one of those omniscient-type narrators. The bastards. How I hate them. "Oh, I'm so knowledgeable. I know everything. Nyah nyah nyah." But I don't care. I never wanted to go to their house parties. They're just a bunch of good-for-nothing jerks, anyway. "Are you quite finished?" Awesome whispered. Oh. Sorry. Yeah, I'm done. "Good. Because I want to get on with this skulking. It's kind of fun. I'm like a super-spy. Spying about, all super-ish and stuff." So there they were. Awesome and the other person. Skulking about the city streets. It was night. Dark and quiet. Which was why they had to skulk if they did not want to be seen. Well, more accurately, if they did not want to be heard. It's hard to be seen in the dark. But easy to be heard in the quiet. But, you never know. Someone might have keen eyesight. "Oooh, I think we go this way!" Awesome looked right, then turned left, and so continued to walk in the way they were already walking. Probably the best option seeing as they were in an alleyway with as-of-yet no turnings or branches. Despite being a superhero, Awesome couldn't yet climb buildings. Or walk through them. Or control time and space with a Japanese accent. But he's working on it. That he is. There was a sound. It came from behind him. Awesome turned. And came face-to-face with its cause. He tried to stifle a scream. But failed. 'Twas have been a girly scream. Awesome screams like a girl. It's actually a very useful trait. See, people are more likely to come a-running to the sound of a girl screaming. They want to save the day. Be a hero. Get laid, probably. But they don't come a-running to the sound of a man screaming. They go a-running away. Because if something is big enough and scary enough to make a man scream, then it's probably going to be a real threat. And there's no rationale in taking a risk for such a case. Risk being hurt and/or killed to save a man's life? No chance. He can die for all I care. But a woman? Well, as long as my hair is styled and I'm smelling sexy, then I will be there. Every time. And so would Awesome. Although he might not care too much if the woman dies or gets hurt. He'd probably film the entire thing and watch it in the evening with a bowl of popcorn. Or, if he's near a store, he'd buy some right there and then and watch it live. Awesome stopped screaming. Because a hand covered his mouth. The hand of the person with whom he was skulking. Yes, that's right. He screamed for nothing. What a girl. And probably ruined the skulkiness. People would have heard that. And come a-running. And then they'd get seen. Idiot. What an absolute utter (awesome) idiot. "Oops. My bad. Awesome is sorry. And Awesome thinks we should get away quickly. I don't want people to come a-running to my girly scream and see us. We're not supposed to be seen. If we get seen then we'll fail. Game over. And the boss will be all angry and stuff. Might shoot me with the water pistol I gave him. Oh, the embarrassment." |
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2ataTime had been walking around sulking, why well that was nobody's damn business, but she ran into Awesome who was also sulking, why she didn't know, but as they say misery loves company. Awesome and 2ataTime walk and walked. Suddenly for no apparent reason Awesome screamed. It was a horrible girly scream that hurt 2ataTime's ears. She slammed her hand over Awesome's mouth. "My God, that is the most girly scream I have ever heard. What are you doing? Here we were sulking buddies and now you want to get the whole city involved?" 2ataTime grabbed Awesome's very awesomely small hand and ran for the end of the alley. "We are going left when we get to the street" she hissed at Awesome " I know a place a few blocks away." 2ataTime figured they better hide for a little while before they continued on their sulking walk as she was sure every lonely man within a three mile radius was hoping to rescue the damsel in distress and maybe get a little action in the process. As they made it to the street Awesome hesitated. "LEFT..LEFT" 2ataTime could she the men arriving at the alley looking at her, questioning "Hi, excuse me in a hurry, have to find the girls room" She knew that if you implied that toilet duties where on the agenda men would move out of your way quickly. Two blocks away they turned into a doorway and she pulled open the door "Oh my, what has happened to this place?" She stood looking around, stunned. |
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| Reply by: 2ataTime at Dec 14, '08 11:11 | |
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Ummm, excuse me Mrs. 2ataTime's narrator, but you've got it all wrong! They were SKULKING. Not SULKING. To skulk is to move about with stealth. And they were skulking about for a while before Awesome screamed like a girl. Like, they were partners, and stuff. See, it does say so in my previous narration. Oh, and it was also expressed indirectly that they were doing work for Awesome's boss. Yep, true story. "Wow. This place looks like my home. How nice." You're an epic failure as a narrator. That you are. You should be fired. Who's your agent? We should have words. We might be able to come up with some kind of arrangement. Like, I take on the role of your supervisor. Audit your progress and all that. "I said, "Wow. This place looks like my home. How nice." Come on, man. You, yourself, are failing here. Do it right! Show her how it's done. This story doesn't get anywhere without you! So get moving!" Oh, right. Yeah, anyway, where were we. The place was a tip. The tables had been overturned. Papers were strewn across the floor. The radio had been smashed. The bathroom door was hanging loose; just one remaining hinge intact. Yes, very much like Awesome's home. He likes chaos. Much more interesting. "So, do you live here? I like it. So much better than most places I visit. They're usually so tidy. And clean. And ... ordered." Awesome cringes at the word. It causes him great emotional pain to think of such a state. "It's lucky we were so close. We could have been in trouble. Those men looked kind of big. And they looked like the type to fight back were I too intentionally walk into and shove them. I don't like those people. They're not very fun. I like the kind I can hurt and/or kill. Good times. Good stuff." |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 14, '08 11:44 | |
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eeeeeerm awesome? |
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| Reply by: QuagmireRourke at Dec 14, '08 12:00 | |
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2ataTime had been so depressed she had not noticed Awesome was on a mission until he said "What the fuck, are you stupid? I am skulking." but no time for that now. "wwhhhattt. wwwhhoo.." she had to pull herself together "No no this is not my place it is a friends. I watch it for him when he is out of town. It did not look like this when I left early this morning to sulk. I was so sad." Awesome, although he thought the place looked lovely, said "Maybe you should look around, see if anything is missing." 2ataTime had not had any real adventure in a long time and this was all rather exciting, her heart was racing. "I don't.. well he didn't keep much in the.. um" she was at a loss as to what to say she knew her friend hid drugs and cash in the house but she didn't think she should check while Awesome was there. "You stay here." She pulled out her gun that had been strapped to her leg and hidden under her skirt. 2ataTime walked stealthily down the hall to the study. Snuck around the doorway, following her gun, into the study to see if the wall safe had been discovered. Not only had the study been ransacked but the safe was empty, and worst of all there was a unknown person lying face down on the floor. "Um Awesome, can you come here?" "This is the most awesomely decorated place I have ever seen." said Awesome as he walked into the study "Do you know this person?" asked 2ataTime as she flipped over the body on the floor. |
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| Reply by: 2ataTime at Dec 14, '08 12:33 | |
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As 2ataTime flipped over the body, Awesome's eyes widened. The sight was too great to describe. So I won't even try. "No, I don't, but wow, look at that. What ever happened to his face? That is so cool." Awesome took out his camera and started snapping shots. Snap, snap, snap. He was bouncing around like a child at Christmas. But then he stopped. Because he heard a sound. And this time it wasn't the sound of his partner, but of someone else. And then of another someone else. And then another. Awesome wondered if these men were criminals or police. And then he stopped wondering. Because one of the three who were making a sound made their profession known. "Stop! Police!" "Ah. So, you're the police? And we're two random people with guns standing over the body of a man who's face has gone missing. I can see how this could look bad. For us, at least. Probably a field day for you. With that in mind, I think it best that we leave." Awesome turned to 2ataTime. "Wouldn't you agree?" Awesome turned and ran towards the window. Then jump up and through it. It smashed. Which he found a relief. The last time he'd tried to jump through a window he'd been a little too soft and had ended up just hurting himself, leaving the window intact. So today was a lucky day. But he did suffer from a few minor cuts as he crashed through it. But he didn't mind. He's a bit of a masochist. And a bit of a sadist, as has been previously established. "That was awesome!" said one cop. This cop was smacked around the back of the head by one of his colleagues. Then the three turned the guns towards 2ataTime. "Freeze! Don't you go trying any funny business, missy, like your friend there. I'm warning you!" |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 14, '08 12:54 | |
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2ataTime struggled to keep the contents of her stomach down as she looked at the body on the floor. It would not be advisable for a woman in her position to punk all over the body and on her new shoes, especially with Awesome taking pictures. She was so distracted trying to figure out what had happened to the man's face she had not heard the noises in the house until "Police" Awesome's reaction was well, awesome. It also provided the distraction she needed. As Awesome leaped through the window 2ataTime dropped her gun to the floor. Not one of the policemen noticed. She then assessed the officers as they watched Awesome's figure disappear. These men were more criminal than she was and they just hid behind the badge. They were lowly, dimwitted, disgusting men. She knew how to take care of these men. 2ataTime was glad Awesome escaped she knew she could get herself out of this, but she didn't know how she would have explained him. "freeze..." said an officer. 2ataTime ignored this 2ataTime stepped over the body with her right foot and pretended to trip on it with her left. This effectively pushed her gun under the body and let her fall into the first officer. "Oh you saved me from falling, you're wonderful" she said as she batted her big blue eyes at the scrawny unattractive officer. "I don't know what happened I am watching this house for my friend, Mr. Jordan. When I left this morning everything was fine. When I got home the house was ransacked and the body was on the floor and" she let her eyes mist up here "that man" she pointed at the broken window "was here." She acted as if she was straightened up her skirt but in reality she was moving the slit to better show her legs to the officers. The third officer grabbed 2ataTime by the arm. "Calm down miss, come with me, as these two look around" 2ataTime could feel the officer leering at her as he lead her to the living room. "Tell me what happened" said the policeman as he sat down with 2ataTime on the couch and put his hand on her knee. The feeling of her stomach contents coming up was overwhelming. She had to hide her disgust. "Well, when I woke up this morning, I was feeling blue, so I went for a walk...." started 2ataTime as she wondered how Awesome was fairing. |
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| Reply by: 2ataTime at Dec 14, '08 19:07 | |
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Awesome landed with all the grace of a ballet dancer. A very fat and ungraceful ballet dancer, to be precise. In other words, he landed poorly. On his face. Ouch. That'll hurt in the morning. "Never mind the morning! It hurts now." Yes, well, moving on. Awesome got to his feet and brushed his clothes clean. Realizing that he was supposed to be moving quickly, he moved quickly. And away from the window from which he had jumped through. Because the people he was escaping from were still there. And so might follow. And Awesome did not want to be followed. At least, not by those men. He'd like it if the girl followed, though. They were, after all, partners and stuff. He swiftly escaped around the side of the building. He back-turned, crouched by the corner, and raised his gun. He raised it in the direction from which he came. Waiting. "Come on, miss. You can do it. It's as easy as pie. Just jump and dive. And roll. That's it! I forgot to roll. No wonder I fell on my face. Silly me." He waited some more. Nobody came. So he got up. And walked back towards the window. He reached it and poked his head through. Inside he saw his partner talking to the cops. They were looking at her eagerly. And she was showing off her leg. Awesome could put one and one together to get all sorts of ridiculously awesome answers. So he decided that those officers might enforce try their luck with the lady. Which wouldn't do at all. Not because he was adverse to the idea of a woman being hurt by three big balding men. But because they were a team. And there's never an 'I' in team. Or so the saying goes. Awesome wasn't one to disagree with sayings. There's a reason they're sayings. Because they're useful and true. So he had to help. "Excuse me, officers, but would you mind letting my friend go so that we can escape and go do criminal stuff? See, we're on a busy schedule, and things will be all bad and stuff if we're late. And even more bad with even more stuff if we fail. See, I'm asking nicely. Pretty please?" They looked stunned. Frozen for a moment. Then one of them unfroze and raised his gun. He shot, but Awesome evaded the shot. He withdrew from the window. And the man who'd tried to shoot him followed. As did a second. The third stayed behind with 2ataTime. The previous two reached through the window and climbed through. They turned to see Awesome holding a gun towards them. "See, that was stupid. You knew I was just here. And yet you climbed out anyway. You guys need a demotion. Seriously." He took a shot. The bullet hit an officer in the knee. He fell. Awesome shot again. The second bullet hit the second officer in the opposite knee. He fell. Awesome towered above them with all the awesomeness than can be used to tower over two policemen. They looked scared and in pain. Because, unsurprisingly, they were. "Kiss." Awesome said. "W...w...w...what?" mumbled one of the men. "I said kiss, and if you speak or hesitate again I shall shoot you in the face, so do it!" They looked terrified. But realized the severity of the situation and so did as Awesome commanded. They started to kiss. Awesome pressed the barrel into the back of one of the heads and pulled the trigger. The bullet cracked through his skull and through the face over the other. They fell dead. Very dead. Like, really very dead. "Heh. Two birds with one stone. See, sayings are useful and true." Awesome liked that he had done a proverb. And done it awesomely. So took a picture with the camera he had on him. "That's one for the scrapbook." There was a crack, a bang, and a wallop. It came from within the building. Awesome quickly moved over to the window and took a look inside. |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 14, '08 19:42 | |
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2ataTime was bumbling through the explanation of her day. Taking her time and trying to ignore the policeman trying to slowly move his hand up her leg as she tried to push it back down without him really noticing. Suddenly she heard gunshots. Her companion got up and ran into the study and she was hot on his heels. She was glad the policeman was too stupid and too eager to get her alone to search her. She pulled out her second gun. It was small but effective. As the police officer stopped in the middle of the study, right next to the faceless corpse, 2ataTime raised her gun and shot him. "What the...." he said as he fell to a knee "you bitch you shot me in the ass" She was now mad because she had not aimed and was now going to have to shot him again, of course he needed to be shot twice. She wanted to lecture him on how to treat a women and she wanted to tell him what a failure he was. "You are disgusting" was all she managed as she shot again. He fell next to the first corpse. As she looked at the corpses side by side she hoped it was Awesome who had fired the gun, or she was in real trouble. She walked over to the first corpse and retrieved her gun from under him. "Hiya" Awesome said as he looked in the window "What happened and what do we do now?" asked 2ataTime as she went to climb out the window. |
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| Reply by: 2ataTime at Dec 14, '08 21:16 | |
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As 2ataTime climbed through the window, Awesome holstered his gun. Reaching into his Pocket of Awesomeness, he removed from it a piece of paper. And writing was written upon it. So he read it. Turning to 2ataTime, he grinned. "Right, then, we need to head over to the docks. Apparently two small-time gangs are having some kind of big get-together and there's going to be drugs and money changing hands, and all that malarkey. Our bosses, Jimmy and Mickey, being such awesome friends and stuff, want in on the action. So here we are. According to this plan, we have to go to the docks, take out the drug dealing mafioso-type people, steal the drugs and the money, and get it back to the safe house. Then, hopefully, we get a big cut and a big promotion. 'Twill be fun!" Awesome folded the paper and put it back in his pocket. Then un-holstered his gun. There might be more cops. And Awesome likes to shoot things. He beckoned for 2ataTime to follow, and headed down the alleyway. Looking around the corner for anyone to shoot, he found himself disappointed. But at least that meant they might get to the docks quickly and without hassle. He continued on and took a left. Then a right. Then another right. Then another right. Yep. He had taken them around in a circle. The silly little man. So he took a right, and then a left. And there, before them, lay the entrance to the docks. "Awesome. We're here." But something caught his attention. 'Twas two men. Standing either side of the entrance. Looking like mobsters. And holding guns. Big, fast firing, guns. Awesome got all scared. "Ah. That might be construed as somewhat of a predicament." He turned to his partner. "Any ideas?" |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 15, '08 05:28 | |
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After climbing out the window, 2ataTime listened to Awesome' plan. She then followed him around in a circle *what the hell is he doing* she thought, and then they went to the docks. "Any ideas," Awesome asked as they noticed to gangsters guarding the docks. "Oh I think I can handle this give me a minute, and be ready, but keep it quiet I am sure there are more around." 2ataTime knew that policemen and the lower ranking gangsters in this town weren't much different. As 2ataTime walked up to the gangsters, she could tell by their suits that they were not important. She pulled both a piece of paper and a tissue out of her purse as she approached. "sniff... I.. sniff.. was supposed to meet my boyfriend here and he hasn't shown up..." She dabbed the corner of her eyes with the tissue "Can you tell me if this is.." she repeated the address of the warehouse that she had left Awesome standing next to. "Oh no ma'am that is that building over there" said the larger of the two as he pointed in Awesome's direction. "Which one?" asked 2ataTime as she looked wildly around and pointed at a different building "That one." said the gangster as he once again pointed "I just don't see which one you are talking about and it is so dark over there, do you think you could help me. I know I really shouldn't be out here alone and I am so sorry to disturb you. I can see you are important for your work and I was sure he would be waiting for me and I just got out of the taxi right over there and I really need to find him and...I" said 2ataTime rapidly with a hint of panic in her voice as the gangster interrupted her "Ma'am I really can't leave my post." "Just get her out of here." the second gangster finally spoke "and quickly, if she attracts too much attention it will be our heads." The first gangster handed his big gun to his partner "Follow me miss." he grumbled. 2ataTime lead him right to the waiting Awesome, who cold cocked him and he went down hard. "It's like shooting fish in a barrel." said 2ataTime in honor of her partner. "I know this isn't your style" apologized 2ataTime as she gagged the gangster with her scarf, "but the other big guy will be here in about 5 minutes when his partner doesn't come back. Peek around the corner and don't let him see you, I bet he is starting to fidget and look around." 2ataTime looked around for a place to take the gangsters once they were out. They would have to shot them somewhere where the sound wouldn't travel. "How's our other gangster looking." she asked as she checked to make sure the first one was still out. "I think he's about to move" Awesome answered "I am ready and waiting." 2ataTime went to the nearest door to see if it was unlocked. No luck. She looked at her partner to make sure all was still well as she walked to the second door. It was locked but she could feel it was not very secure. She pulled and turned the knob and lightly shook the handle and then yanked. Just as she had thought. This lock had recently been broken and the owner had not fixed it yet. She hurried back to Awesome. "We have access. How is he doing?" she asked as she nodded toward the second gangster. "He'll be here any second now. He just set down sleepy's gun." replied Awesome |
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| Reply by: 2ataTime at Dec 15, '08 21:08 | |
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Awesome watched as the second man headed their way. Behind him he heard 2ataTime dragging the other into the building. Awesome was having fun. He gets to shoot people in the face. And hit them in the back of the head with his gun. Awesome, thinking over how easily 2ataTime had managed to trick those men, decided to try it out for himself. He jumped out of the shadows. But not in a threatening way. "Hey, man! You seen my girl Jane? I'm supposed to be meeting up with her around here, but I can't for the life of me find her. I'm all worried and stuff." The man looked taken aback for a moment. He looked as though he was deciding whether or not to shoot Awesome. I hope he doesn't. Awesome's a great guy. No doubt realizing how awesome Awesome is, he decided against shooting him in the face. Thankfully. "There was some broad walkin' aroun' here and talkin' about meetin' up with some guy. That'd be ya, then, eh? My boy is with her tryin' to find ya. Jesus, we're really busy and ya two are just gettin' in our way. You betta not cause us any more trouble, ya hear?" The man looked a little angry. "Oh, yeah, I'm so sorry. We won't cause you any trouble. It's just that, we want to steal all your money and drugs and kill you, you see?" The man froze. "What'cha say?" "I said, I am going to shoot you and your friends in the face, steal your money and your drugs, and take photos of the entire occurrence." And with that, he roundhouse punched the guy in the side of his head. With the hand that was holding his gun. The man went down hard. Awesome picked up the body and dragged it into the building, following 2ataTime's lead, closing the door behind him. |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 16, '08 06:06 | |
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Inside was quiet. It was unnerving. Awesome didn't like to be unnerved. It wasn't awesome. He looked around, and couldn't see his partner anywhere. He dragged the body slowly into the centre of the room. It was a bare and empty room. Bare and empty, besides the dead body lying on the floor nearby. "Oooh, did you shoot him?" Awesome dropped the man he was holding and went over to the body. Then stopped. Then tears formed at his eyes. He felt a little sad. Sad, because the body was not that of the man whom he had knocked unconscious earlier, but of 2ataTime. His partner. A bullet in the back of the head, by the looks of her lack of face. A shot rang out across the room and a bullet found its way into Awesome's left arm. He dove and rolled and managed to hide behind a big crate the was conveniently lying near him. He looked at the blood flowing from his arm. He looked over to the body of his friend. He looked pissed. And, wow, was it scary. "That's it. I'm pissed. And I am scary." Reaching into his pocket of Awesomeness, Awesome removed from it a bandana, which quickly tied around his head. He picked up his gun. And then unholstered a second he had hidden away. "It's Awesome time!" Awesome jumped out from behind the crate and began to fire. Despite the pistols being only semi-automatic, the bullets were firing out like an automatic machine gun. Yes, he is that good. The first few bullets found their way into the body of the man whom Awesome had brought it. The others went everywhere. Left and right, up and down. Then he heard a shout. "Ahhhhh!" See? A shout. Awesome looked over behind him. A body had fallen to the floor. The body of the man who had killed 2ataTime. Awesome was confused. He hadn't fired behind him. That was odd. But before he could ponder this, he heard a sound. The sound of footsteps. Because that's what they were. And with that, a figure stepped out of the shadows. |
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| Reply by: Awesome at Dec 16, '08 06:17 | |
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