The drunkard sat around his speakeasy and pondered. He was sipping a gin and tonic. Gin is the best angry drink. Gin or tequila, but mostly gin. Except for the Tom Collins. Those are an exception for celebrations. But mostly gin is an angry drink, and Drunky pondered over his gin.

Another new face was working behind the bar today. Drunky didn’t think he would risk giving any of the less common orders like a Tom Collins or an Emerson to a new guy. Lots of new faces around these parts, always looking for a couple days work.

Hey new guy, you gonna stick around here, or are you just sopping up five days of work and out?

Honestly, sir, I was just here for the paycheck. Another other crew out of Detroit had already caught my eye. I’ll be joining them in a few minutes.

Then get the fuck out of here and on the way out find me someone who knows how to make an Emerson. You’re fired!

The new guy shrugged his shoulders and walked out of the room without any protest. Obviously he hadn’t given two shits about Frank’s organization despite having voluntarily elected to work there.

Drunky looked around and burst out to no one in particular. What is with these guys? Sure, everyone wants to make a buck, isn’t it pretty much common courtesy to not show up for three days of training and then immediately quit the job after a bunch of money has been sunk into you?

There were a few nondescript murmurs in the back of the bar. The old sot had no clue what they were saying, but at least now he had an Emerson to swig. So swig he did.

You know what? I’m going about this wrong. In this here demented world, I guess I have to take a more active role in finding folks.

Frank looked in the mirror behind his bar and flexed. Fuck yeah, I still got this. So Frank went upstairs to his room and put on a form-fitting shirt that exposes his midriff, and tight cut-off jeans that highlight how well-endowed he is.

Hey, you! I recognize you! The drunkard swaggered over to a young child who looked distraught. You’re that kid whose dad just died right? You must need some work right about now. Those bills are going to be piling up fast. You know how much funerals cost? Thousands, if not tens of thousands. But don’t you worry, just come over here and work for me!

Frank practically dragged the child into his headquarters and set him behind the bar. You know how to make a Tom Collins, right? We’re celebrating here. We’re celebrating your new employment. This is going to be awesome, just trust me on that one. Here, let me go find a co-worker for you.

Drunky swaggers outside with newfound confidence, bringing his Tom Collins along with him. He sees a skimpy-dressed lass on the corner.

Hey you, you look like a working-girl type. You want a job? Come here. I’ve got one for you inside this bar. C’mon, the more the merrier. I’ve got money and trust me, plenty of guys in here would just love to pass you around.

Great success! Two workers in one day! All the drunkard had to do was swoop in at the right moment and swoop up grieving children and street walkers.

Guys, let’s celebrate this. Tom Collinzes for everyone here. Turns out all ya gotta do to get a helping hand around here is stoop down a bit and presto! Plenty of people will join. Why the hell didn’t I think of this earlier? Christ, I hope word doesn't get out to everyone that things are this easy. I don't want my competition getting ahead.

Drunky smiled as he sipped away at the pleasantly sour-but-sweet-and-savory drink. Nothing quite like a Tom Collins to hit every taste bud in just the right amount. 

Arya slipped along the wall of the bar unoticed. She grabbed a few cherry Tom Collins's off a table and ran into the coat room with them.

Timon randomly looks at the closest and prettiest girl he can find. He gives her a nod, smiles, and lowers his voice so that only she can hear it.

"Hey you, you look like a working-girl type. You want a job? Come here. I’ve got one for you inside this bar."

He was clearly trying to use the line he witnessed Drunky using and with confidence. She looked to Timon, raised an eyebrow, and walked away, leaving him standing by himself. She clearly was please by his introduction. Timon stood in silence for a moment before shrugging it off and looking around for another drink.

JackRyan happened to be sitting at Drunky's bar having a few drinks. He was busy sipping his rum looking at some lady standing in the corner. The bartender had no problem pouring the first two drinks for him. However when he looked up to order another there was no one there. 

Jack waited a bit and he saw Drunky walk in with a new bartender wrapped around his arm. Before he knew it Drunky was wondering off once again. Jack thought nothing of this. It was quite normal for the drunk to just be pondering about popping in and out. He ordered another drink and sat back in his chair. 

A few minutes went by and Jack sees Drunky walk in with another worker. This one was a fairly pretty lady. He again walked her behind the bar and put her to work. These two seemed like they were going to be there to stay unlike the temporary one that was there at first with no clear intention of staying around longer than he had to. 

Jack looked up at Drunky. 

How did you do it? I have been looking for someone to tend my bar for a week now. I get all these part timers in and out. They come and they go. They always have other places to be. How on earth did you get two full timers in such a short time?

Drunky puts an arm around JackRyan as they sit at the bar together.

Pal, it's all about realizing that old inhibitions and conventions have been totally shattered. You see a grieving orphan? Swoop that shit up. Easy targets. Head's going to be clouded by grief and destitution anyway. You see that pretty girl who winks at you when you say hi? Double wrap it, tap it, and keep it. She's probably got an addiction to feed and not many options aside your wallet.

Yep, my life sure has gotten easier since I cast off those old morals of the past. The best part is that no one seems to care anywhere. I've been at this for days now and no one has even so much as complained at me.

This is way better than setting up a listing in the classifieds and hoping that someone will show up and actually be interested. You know how many people I've found that way? None. Just had people suck up my money. You know how many I've found this way? All of them. It's pretty great.

So I'ma propose a toast here. A toast to the old-fashioned street-walking. I never seem to find anyone unless I'm out actively hunting down prospects.

Drunky raises his glass, then realizes it's empty. He fills it up with a long island iced tea and re-raises it.

As he stood sliding Ameretto Sours, Gimlets, Dark and Stormy and Rusty Nail's down the bar, he sighed as he sipped from his Salty Dog he sighed.  He had noticed how to get in to some families he had heared reports of never working for an organisation, never contacting an organisation yet an invite sat waiting for them to join a family even though they were an unknown to them.

He moaned to himself as he finished the Salty Dog and realised he would have to work a bit more as he pondered how the members would turn out if they never had contact with a family after realising how vetting employees can still result in an idiot getting through.  Mixing up a brain eraser and a fire ball he looked further, "hell, what about the crews that recruit from within a crew and how they are getting someone who couldn't be loyal once, so why would they be again" he grumbled.

"Getting work once was a challenge, is a feeling many now will never know with half empty or mostly empty crews and a high number of people on the payroll who haven't worked for months and some crews don't give a damn who they get or how it turns out, so even their enemies can slide back into their city"

"as for people sponging of this and other businesses with no desire for a future here then i am happy to see drunky play midget toss with them as is a system that will still need tinkering for a while to come as people take advantage of it, just wanting to save towards drug cash or boosting the,selves, not where they work"

Nods to the skimpy dressed girl, i need some help here, can u grab that on the bottom shelf,

mutters to himself "oh yeah, we have a winner"

"Frank i think she needs to organise the cellar with me, back soon"

Jack listens to Drunky talk and thinks to himself for a moment. He then takes a sip of his rum and sits it back onto the table. 

You are right. Times sure have changed. I remember back when I stumbled upon these shores. I got offers from all over the country to work for crews and help them out. They told me they would protect me and find me a home. It was then later I was reading letters from my grandfathers grandfather that I realized things sure had changed around here. He wrote in one. 

"To whomever it may concern. Times in the states are tough right now. I was sent letters from friends that finding work and people you call family would be easy. However no one has approached me and I feel as if I need to walk into a bar and ask around. I might even talk to a lower member of an organization just to get some odd jobs. Hopefully I can work my way up." 

Letters like that make me wonder why things are so different now. Oh well it is an easier way of life now I guess. 

Jack raises his glass up to Drunky. 

I'll drink to that. 
 

Arya, eavesdropping from the coat room, took umbridge at the statement that orphans were weak. She darted over slipping behind Drunky who was half falling over on JackRyan, reached around him and snatched his drink then ran back into the coat room and downed it.

Drunky is taken aback so far he actually drops his whiskey sour on the ground.

BackToShootPeeps, that's genius. Why should I confine my head-hunting to the slutty homeless, newly orphaned, and otherwise jobless? Here, help me with this banner. This is going to be great. You've just opened up a whole new market for me to work in. There must be hundreds of discontent people whose bosses underpay them and make them pay way more in taxes than me.

Drunky unrolls a banner and splashes down paint on it. When he's done there are a few blurred lines, transposed letters, and misspellings. The banner reads: TURNCOATS WELCOME -- NO TAXES!

Help me get this thing thrown up under our sign. Oh man, I bet I can fully man this operation overnight this way!

JackRyan saw what Arya did. He quickly helped Drunky get onto his feet. 

What do you think we should do? Do you want to chase her down or just let her be alone in the coat room?

JackRyan grabbed his drink and finished it waiting for a response from Drunky. 

Dusts himself off and pours up a cosmopolitan.

I say we let her drink that. It was a good drink, and she clearly wanted it more than me. Let's see how fast she can take this one from me. I might catch some pointers about how to sneak a few wallets out of pockets this way. That's always a fun way to make a buck in between tricking people into joining our team.

Frank takes a sip of the cosmo, remembers how much he hates them, and waits patiently hoping Arya will return to claim it.
 

Looks at Drunkys banner and wonders whether he is drunk, cynical or sarcastic before sliding caffeine into his drink to sober him up,  he knew his taste senses had gone before giving him the strangest look.

Looking Drunky in the glazed eyes, he quickly shot down his black orchid before slapping Drunky "what sort of two bit, retard led, idiot organisation would work that way.  What sort of back stabbing, swill stealing, non-alcohol drinking, treacherous, inbred sons and daughters of bitches we want in this company"

"This is the Suburbs, and chicago, not some two bit nebraska moonshine operation where anything will do, have some pride man, you don't build a reputation to watch it get torn apart in minutes."

  Turns his back, grabs the kettle and slides a non-alcholic double shot expresso to Drunky

JackRyan quickly grabs the whisky and spikes the double shot expresso before Drunky has a moment to spare. 

I don't think we should listen to BackToShootPeeps on this. Everyone else is doing it. Why should we not? 

JackRyan points to the bartender and then the glasses in front of him. 

Fill them up. We have more drinking and more bad decisions to make. How else is Drunky going to live up to his name. 

Drunky frowns as BackToShootPeeps speaks. This was not the sort of encouragement he had wanted from his right hand man.

Oh come on. It will be fun. We'll have one big party together in tax-free land. Plus this Arya gal seems to like my drinks. I bet I could get her to join us. I'll just mix a few cosmos and when she's good and drunk she will think it's what she wants! And the best part about it will be that once they've left their other families, they won't be wanted back. They'll be doubly stuck here!

Come on, you even gave me this idea in the first place. It's your idea you are shooting down here. Aren't you man enough to stick up for your own idea?

Drunky looked over at BackToShootPeeps at this point. If looks could kill...

Oh. Fine then. I'll keep it to just the young and impressionable. Not even that Arya one. I'm sure I could have snagged her. It wouldn't be any challenge, though, so not even a point in proving it.

The drunkard puts away his "turncoats welcome" sign and goes back to accosting the unemployed in the streets.

Looks over at drunky and now particularly Jack as he swills his latest concoction called the Good and Plenty, the lovely angry red builds up within him and the vision of steam coming from his ears as in the funny toons could become a reality.

"Just coz other people are lazy, usless, scumbag sponsors who their leaders are incapable of supervising in their recruitment procedures or worse encouraging it does not mean we operate that way.  We watched one district in Philly collapse due to some of these problems and we do not want to be in the same boat"

pauses as the ouzo does it's magic.

"your only as strong as your weakest link"

Arya listens to the men at the bar talking about her. A COSMO? As if she has use for that frilly girly drink. She wonders if she's somehow being confused with her sister. That whiskey and espresso on the other hand...

Arya slips out of the coat room and behind the bar. She ducks as she runs along side it and reaching the area where the two men are seated turned listening to BackToShootPeeps she reaches her hands over and slides the Cosmo from in front of Drunky to in front of JackRyan, grabs the Irish/Italian/beautifulmonstrositycoffee and runs back to the coat room.

smiles watching arya, as he thinks of something special for her grabbing the ice cubes. amaretto, coffee and hazelnut liquors he starts toying with the bottes as he adds them with a dash of this and that, pouring in the vodka and irish cream. Giving them a swift mix and pouring them in to the glass.  It's called an international incident, is what Drunky reacts like if someone takes a bottle off him.

Maple decided it was about time to check in on Drunky. Frank, geez would she ever remember his real name? Wouldn't matter, he answers to both, probably more so to Drunky really. She wandered down to the speakeasy, opened the door and sat at a table near the back. She looked around and noticed quite a few people drinking in the place tonight. She sat and waited and waited. Finally she yelled at Drunky to get his ass over to her table.

I have been sitting here for twenty minutes. What is wrong with this place? No wait staff? I see you have two new tenders which is great but I am not about to walk up there and get my own drink. I want it served to me here. You need to stop all this drinking and get out to the streets and find some more people to employ! I heard how you came about the last two, go do it some more. Stop sitting around here talking about it all day long.

Maple called to JackRyan to bring her a drink. He walked on over with a Cosmo and smiled at her.

Drunky overhears Maple's rant about the understaffed wait service at his little operation and calls over BackToShootPeeps. The two bring over dry Manhattans for themselves, and a refill cosmo for Maple. They sit across the booth from their godfather's right hand woman and begin with boring small talk about whether the skimpy outfit suits the old sot. Eventually the conversation lags and Drunky seizes the moment.

Well, Maple. I couldn't help but overhear you defending my job-finding practices. BackToShootPeeps here doesn't really appreciate my most golden plan. Maybe you will. I think it's a great opportunity to expand our market share.

Drunky unfurls the massive banner which reads "TURNCAOTS WELCOME -- NO TAXES!" and waits for Maple's response to his brilliant plan to expand operations at an even faster pace.

Maple sips her drink and wonders how long it will be before Drunky falls off his chair. He's always felt the need to lean back so only the back two legs are on the ground but tonight he must think he's magical. Tonight he has only one back chair leg on the ground. As drunk as he is Drunky is swaying back and forth, to and fro. Maple starts a countdown in her head, 5, 4, 3 CRASH! "Damn it, I didn't even make it to 1", she thinks to herself.

She gets up to help her friend up off the ground just as the sound she's heard him make too many times arises from his stomach. Drunky pukes all over his brand new banner.

So times the best ideas are just not meant to be Drunky ol' pal. Sorry about your banner, you seemed so proud of it. I don't think that will come clean. Where did you put the number for that cleaning lady I gave you the other night? Looks like you'll be calling her soon.

As Maple tries to keep a straight face, she takes another sip of her drink and no longer able to hold it in, bursts out laughing at the scene that had just unfolded.