No stands in front of the gathering crowd of males, all waiting to hear what advice he has to give. Crowds of women are having to be held back by his bodyguards.

Friends, Romans, Countrymen lend me your ears!... Wait sorry, wrong speech. Scratch that.

Everyone gathered here today, listening to me talk... I promise once I'm done you will be much better with the ladies! Here is my advice on getting women.

Rule number ONE: Come prepared. You must first analyse the situation, your wingmen must neutralise any threats before you take action. Women are mysterious creatures, they usually roam in packs. One by one your wingman must draw them away from the pack so that you can take action. Once all threats are neutralised, you must strike fast and hard. Go straight over there, looking sharp and confident. Always start with "Are you single?" this takes away the chances of you buying her 5 drinks, chatting and pretending you're listening for an hour and then finally finding out she has a boyfriend. This however brings me onto rule number two!

Rule number TWO: If she has a boyfriend, have him removed from this earth. However you decide to do that is up to you.

Rule number THREE: Always act richer than you are. Make sure you have just over $1,000,000 in your car outside, this makes you appear RICH!

Rule number FOUR: Get one of your wingmen to approach you, hand you a bottle of champagne and say "Congratulations on your BIG poker win last night!" pop the champagne, pour her a glass and wink. Right about now she is going to be wanting to jump on you and ride you like a bicycle. 

Rule number FIVE: If she rejects you, sleep with her sister. 

Now for the last rule: Never use a chat up line, ever. The only prepared line you can use is this "I am good friends with No!" That line works a charm, almost guaranteed that you are getting laid.

So let me sum it up for you. Pulling women is like a military operation, wingmen must neutralise any possible threats. Then you strike with charm and white lies. We shall pull them in the clubs, we shall pull them in the coffee shops, we shall pull them on the streets! Be free my fellow males, may your wildest dreams become reality. Do me proud!

Rule number FIVE: If she rejects you, sleep with her sister. 

If she doesn't reject me, can I still sleep with her sister? Maybe both of them?

Rule number THREE: Always act richer than you are. Make sure you have just over $1,000,000 in your car outside, this makes you appear RICH!

how do you bluff it if you dont have that kind of money?

Ok NO i used your last rule on Alabama i told her i was friends with you now i have been slapped with a restraining order what do i do now?

No approaches Stan and shakes his head.

Alabama is a exception to every rule, ever. Nothing seems to work on her. No matter how hard I try, I have pulled every trick out of the book... It never works.

She is a wild creature, born to be free and single. There is no taming the beast... 

No then turns to Perrin, handing him a cigar.

Perrin, ALWAYS sleep with her sister if you can. Better yet, go for a threesome! If you don't ask you don't get.

Tony you have brought up a good point, the trick there would be to pretend you have things that you don't really have. See that nice car outside? Point at it and pretend its yours. She won't expect you to get in it as you will be drunk, therefore the lie is hard to unravel. Win-win situation my friend.

Can city call remove this dance of crass stupidity ASAFP?

* City Hall

Why in God's creation would they do that, Shouty McPartypooper?

TM looks at Walter with confusion and shock, then quietly nods to No and approaches Walter, escorting him away and down the block.

Mate you have lots to learn about this thing of ours, and how to present yourself to ranking members of our society without looking like a complete dunce.  Now, I know for a fact that that man up there is a forgiving man, and is willing to overlook your disrespectiful attitude if you walk away now and not return until you've learned to show a bit of respect.

TM directs Walter the other direction, away from the crowd.

If you venture to OOC Avenue, I will be happy to discuss this with you.

Cheshire overhears No speaking in front of a crowd and decides to stop and listen.

About rule #5, what do you do if she doesn't have a sister? Do you sleep with her best friend? Is that guaranteed to work in the same way as the sleeping with the sister?

As for your last rule, I find telling them about my cat obsession works surprisingly well. I guess they have a thing for guys who like to pretend they're cute, fluffy animals. Though now I can't help but to wonder what would happen if I said that in addition to telling them about the cat thing.

Cheshire quits talking as he gets distracted thinking about the possibilities.

I am a big fan of getting an associate to try and mug them till i waltz in save the day.  so i get to take them home, and take advantage that way and as i got to find where they live i don;t have to see them again if i don't want too.

I only have one rule, and it is pretty simple.

Always make her feel like she is the only woman in the room, and everything else will fall into place.

Rule number TWO: If she has a boyfriend, have him removed from this earth. However you decide to do that is up to you.

Corky had a boyfriend when I met her. He was my first +1

Wouldn't saying "I am good friends with No!" make it easier for a girl to reject to poor lad following your advice?

I mean if a guy used that on me, I'd simply say "If you're such good friends with the word 'No' then this won't be such a novelty for you. No."

Although this conversation has me worried about all those times BackToShootPeeps just happened to be around when I was getting harassed or pick pocketed...and all those times I felt like someone was watching me through my bedroom window...next time ring the doorbell instead of being a creeper!

Good point Cheshire! Yea No what if she doesn't have a sister but instead has a brother? Could sleeping with the brother still give the desired "fuck you" effects to the initial woman for rejecting me?(Not that she ever would). Just trying to see my options here.

looks innocently over

"a lady of your class would never fall for such trickery"

whipping a rose out of thin air for Zmeika he smiles

"but if you need someone to scare off whoever is creeping round your place, you know where I am"

walks away with a grin on his face

Corky had a boyfriend when I met her. He was my first +1
Reply by: Cray at Oct 14, '13 05:16

True story!  Our first date was feeding fishes, it was so romantic... A lovely evening out on the water, with a beautiful star filled sky.  Nothing says "Be Mine" to a sweet lil mafia gal, like killing the person she's currently with then taking her to help feed the fishes.

Corky sighs, as she lights a cigarette

Ah, sweet, sweet memories.

Perrin , I already asked this to Timon .. he said he swings both ways .

wink wink

....Picking up women,

I seem to recall doing that when I was younger...

oh yes.  It went this way.

Dedshot chants 

"I PICK WOMEN UP AND PUT THEM DOWN

 I PICK WOMEN UP AND PUT THEM DOWN

 I PICK WOMEN UP AND PUT THEM DOWN

 That is how I get so strong"