Heavily breathing Dexter woke up from a nightmare these dreams were now becoming more and more frequent seeing blood everywhere flashbacks of his past kills and his mother murdered in that old storage container many years ago right in front of his eyes. Dexter saw the figure of his father which he always consoled in put this time he had some choice words.

"Why am I like this , you created me taught me a code but does it really work?"

"Dexter you needed the code , it kept you safe allowed you to live these people deserved to die."

"Deserving , what makes them different than me because I kill those who hurt people I am a "hero" I am just like them I want to hurt people I need to see blood this is my addiction I hide behind a mask pretending to be something I am not all I am is a monster in the shadows waiting to strike."

"Dex , you will never be like them you have a conscience you know right from wrong the code keeps you in check it feeds you , you bring justice to those who hurt people and don't get caught."

"Keeps me in line , I wake up and all I want to do is hurt people this is my heroin I cannot control it , the code will no longer be able to help me in this life you made me into what I am , Why couldn't you let me become what I was supposed to instead of trying to turn me into something fake like all these people out here!"

Just as Dexter looked up Harry was gone again , Dexter leaned back took a breath and posed the question again. Am I a hero or am I a monster hiding behind a mask just a front so people cannot see what I really am a savage like all the rest the ones I hunt and clean the streets of.

Sometimes, our constant struggle with our inner demons falters and they get the better of us - which is a particularly dangerous thing, in this line of work.  

Sometimes, though, our problems are exacerbated by the occupation or lifestyle we choose to lead.  Perhaps this desire to take life can be channeled and sated in a different path?  

Serenity, nature, solitude and frequent use of axes, saws and slicing tools used for the purpose of taking life;  have you considered a job in the lumber industry?

Dexter looked up and let off an odd smile before beginning to speak

Well the lumber business is booming in some areas it seem and well cutting bone and cutting wood isn't all that different in the end you are killing something born from a seed something so natural and innocent , yet in some sense can be some harmful ugly and destructive in the end.

The result is ultimately the same I guess , maybe when I need to finally step away I will have an option to fall back upon that will remind me of the life I once lived.

Lawrence scratching the back of his head.

So what does keep your mind busy Dexter? Is it what you have been taught to do or is it the fact you can't resist to do this over and over. Apperently you are addicted to such acts?!

What would you consider yourself if you had to choose between Hero or a Monster? I think the odds what other people think are spread over to a 50/50 which makes it pretty difficult for yourself to confirm with one of the answers to choose.

Can you make something positive out of it?

 

I don't know about anyone else, but I really want to hear Sexecutioner's speech. 

SPEAKING about monsters in ones pants...

I'd like to plagiarize (as any self respecting goomba would) the words of the poet to be known as B52.

Monster (in my pants)

there's a monster in my pants
and it does a nasty dance
when it moves in and out
everybody starts to shout
monster AHHH!
monster ahhh..
get out of here monster!
monster!
monster!
get out of here monster!
there's a monster in my pants
and it does a naughty dance
when it sees the light of day
you can hear the people say
oh no a monster!
oh no a monster!
oh no oh oh oh no a giant monster
monster!
monster!
oh no a giant monster!
Shut the window bolt the door
don't wanna see that monster no more
Shut the window bolt the door
don't wanna see that monster no more
there's a monster in my pants
and it does a modern dance
when it comes into a room
people hit it with a broom
take that, monster!
take that, monster!
take it! take it!
take that you awful thing!
take that AAAAH!
take that aaaah...
take that you naughty thing
they don't wear pants on the other side of France
but they do wear fleece to protect them from the beast
monster!
monster!
oh gee a pregnant monster!
there's a monster on the run
and it wants to have some fun
when it flies into the air
all the people stop and stare
the guys give a yell (uuuuh!)
and the girls start to shriek (AAAH!)
when they see it's giant claws
and it's razor sharp beak
guy: gosh will you look at that thang!
girl: and I thought dinosaurs were extinct!
(brüllen und schreien)

It would seem that DeadlySpikeS has extorted this poor lad's brains as well as his money for gambling. 

Poor little scamp. 

Well lawrence I cannot be a hero justice is about harmony revenge is about making yourself feel better an excuse to hurt someone to validate something as right in your own mind the things we do in this life are never right they are always for personal gain you pull a trigger for money or to get ahead I am just a man outside of myself looking at the monster within myself.

Dexter runs his hands down his face.

I will always be the thing my father tried to stop me from being he thought he was helping me all he did was create a bigger and stronger dark passenger within.

Dexter with a puzzled look , takes a breath.

That is odd Sexecutioner but I am glad you like what I do but my kill rooms are my pleasure rooms I am a perfectionist and my rooms show this I prepare them very carefully and they allow me to stay controlled get my addiction out and feed the beast inside me without the worry of being caught which gives me more pleasure then any woman could I am not one for interaction with others I keep to myself in my apartment so this might explain why.

But I thank you for sharing your private moments out here on the street as I have it really helps keep the small conscience I have "Good".

Maybe Sexecutioner but I try not to think of a kill room as a bad place it's like my church where I clear my conscience and allow my victims to clear theirs they can have their final thoughts and make things right and I can feel as if i'm doing something good and clear my mind and body of all the sins I have committed in the past.

Dexter makes his way to find his next prey.

It would seem that DeadlySpikeS has extorted this poor lad's brains as well as his money for gambling. 

You do not know the half of it, you all might want to check out what I was talking about before: http://mafiareturns.com/comm/thread/372077/page1#post-1275418