The muzzle flash lit up the alleyway like the 4th of July, but it was no good. The intended target had already been hustled by his bodyguards into a waiting Buick which sped away into the night. A white knuckled grip on a pistol was released and the firearm clattered noisily to the sidewalk, useless. The noise snapped the young man out of his reverie and, sweating and shaking, he fell to his knees; silently rocking back and forth. It wasn't that he'd missed the shot, it was the startling realisation that he'd been wrong all along. He was an angry boy, and it was all directed in the wrong place.

"It's not your fault" came the voice from the quiet, bearded man nearby

"Yeah, I know that." was the reply from the young man

"Look at me son,"  the voice was slightly sterner this time, "It's not your fault!"

A shrug, "I know."

"It's not your fault."

An unsure smirk, this time. "...I know."

"No, you don't! It's not. your. fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault."

"Don't fuck with me."

"It's not your fault!"

Finally, the young man's facade breaks. The bullish nature and arrogance is gone, the tears come freely and he embraces the bearded man in a fierce hug, sobbing into his shoulder as he hears the words 'it's not your fault' over and over again.

An interesting tale mes amis, no? Relevant, perhaps, to the events of the last few days. For those of you who are the blissfully ignorant types, I will lay out a nice little timeline for you:

- A couple of weeks ago Philadelphian Godmother was forcibly retired by her compadres in the city of brotherly love because they didn't like her shoes. No, no. There was a serious and legitimate reason but frankly she was a figure of such anonymity that I cannot honestly recall it. Either way, she got her face shot off. No open casket there, chums"

- Two days ago, the revised Philadelphia leadership was likewise subjected to what some may call an aggressive merger and what others would call a great deal more shooting of the faces. There are conflicting accounts as to why. Detroit and the new Philly leadership maintain it was a result of Mr. Hunt's comments in the coffeeshops. Others still maintain it was somehow connected to the late Bianca, or it was a straight up power grab. Either way, I'm not here to discuss the reasoning as there has been enough tedious discussions on this already

- The most recent entree to the 'Shot in the face Philly Hall of Fame' (catchy titles? Not a strong point for me) was Goten. Well, the Detroit/Philly collective who ensured his face did not remain in an un-shot state are losing out on $4,000,000 a week don't you know?!

There are many common denominators between these events, one I have already touched upon (lots of shooting - normally in the facial region), but the one that is really relevant to this speech is that Chicago have not been involved in any fashion and, more specifically still, The Loop have not been involved in any fashion. In fact, to find an event that directly involved Harris one must go all the way back to Frank Sinatra getting his face shot off. As an aside, I am relatively surprised that his name has not been mentioned amidst this hubbub as his foul shadow seems to have lingered over Philly like the smell of shit on a farm until very recently, but I digress.

The reason I bring this up? Since the death of the old Philadelphia regime, someone or someones (?) have embarked on, as has become a rather open secret, an amusingly inept (touch wood a million times) war of attrition with The Loop; shooting at Harris and his cohorts. Stealthy little fuckers to be sure, but ultimately they seem to be aiming for the the 1% rather than relying on any skill, not unlike a group of disenfranchised unemployed Philosophy graduates. My question is why? I do not understand it at all, as far as I see it there can only be three possibilities:

1. The cunning little perpetrators erroneously believe that the Captain is some sort of omnipotent figure who gleefully makes the world dance on strings for him. I suppose this is a compliment, insofar as your face being shot at can be deemed complimentary. Either way, it is pretty idiotic.

2. The not so cunning little perpetrators have finished weeping after the loss of their family/friends/colleagues in Philadelphia and have opted to direct their impotent rage in the direction of a totally uninvolved party. Much like the abused go on to be abusers, these people are just misdirecting their anger which may well stem from poor self esteem as a result of their inability to save their city. Misguided :(

3. The maybe cunning but possibly also not that cunning perpetrators actually have zero to do with recent events and this is all a delightful coincidence. Perhaps they weren't ready (they certainly don't seem it!) but didn't want to seem upstaged by Detroit's much vaunted (if only by themselves) 2 district takedown of a city. Or perhaps they were inspired by Detroit's ballsy antics and decided to create their own fireworks, no doubt saying "Yes! Let's embark on a path which we are very unlikely to see the end of because reasons!"

If the scenario behind door number three is closest to the truth, perhaps this speech serves no purpose other than to provide my district with a delightful little publicity boost; but it would be charming to hear your collective opinions.

Wandering down these here Streets so I am. I stumble upon a man who likes to talk about shooting people in the face. He sounds like my kind of guy. I love nothing better than a facial.

Ah Shite. You're not talking about that kind of shooting are you?

Blank looks greet this statement. Perhaps I got away with it then... Best cover anyway

Shooting people in the face, with a gun, is a most wonderful past time Cantona. I'd be most amazed if anyone could honestly come out here and tell me they didn't enjoy it. So I bet Philadelphias hit men are in a state of bliss following the recent bloodshed. However, it's at this point they must be careful, so they must. That feeling of invincibility can become addictive, better than any drug, and at that point the sights go a wandering, targets seem more attractive and then you end up ... shot in the face. So all they work, effort and time is lost because you couldn't keep it holstered. That is what seperates a man with a gun from a hitter. It isn't his aim. Thats for sure. It's his brain. Knowing when to shoot, the consequences and the reasons.

Moving to the Capt being well popular. It's the same sort of thing in my opinion. Some Stealthy bastard is hoping, praying that a bullet finds his mark and he gets the ultimate high. Now perhaps this is some fucktard who couldn't be arsed putting in the effort to be a proper hitter and is hoping if he fires enough times he'll hit. He won't. I have seen Harris dance. and he uses the same technique when dodging bullets. It's an impressive salsa.

Either way be sure it's some little bastard hoping to get lucky. I don't reckon they got the brains to think they could create a diplomatic situation that would benefit themselves and their associates. That would be the smart thinking hitters first thought as as this fucker cannot hit he obviously ain't no hitter.

I'll be leaving ya good folks now. All this talk of shooting a load in to someone has left me all hot and bothered.

- The most recent entree to the 'Shot in the face Philly Hall of Fame' (catchy titles? Not a strong point for me) was Goten. Well, the Detroit/Philly collective who ensured his face did not remain in an un-shot state are losing out on $4,000,000 a week don't you know?!

You say one thing the wrong way and you're doomed to get shit for it forever, apparently. It was a pitiful attempt to make a sarcastic comment about the fact that they went ahead with the meeting days later and went through the trouble of discussing future plans(including weekly tribute amounts, yes). That's all. The amount mentioned was irrelevant.

I'll fully admit though, that really, the entire argument shouldn't have even been brought up because OF COURSE they went about business as usual before going back on the deal they offered. I was mad about the lies and spoke before double checking what I was about to say.