"Welcome to the first ever edition of "You just got schooled" where me, yes me WiggleButt the all sexy, will share some knowledge. We all know a good schoolin' every so often does the soul some good."

After Wiggle pulls out a black board and some chalk he turns back to the masses

"Today we address a very important matter. One I think all should be properly schooled in. No I'm not addressing Underdog's claims of flight ability, that will be saved for another time. Instead, I bring to you Rank and the Sex appeal behind it. Some may seem confused about the topic so that is why I'm breaking this shit down not just for the men but for the women as well. After all being bias gets you know where. So let's break this down for you by rank to show exactly what kind of sex appeal you may carry without having to use effort at all. This is simply a guide to follow for those that seem to lack in the romance department."

The masses watch as Wiggle begins to write on the board

The breakdown - Male's

Civilian/Thugs - You get no hoes move on

Gangster - You get the hoes with furry nips

Goomba - You get the hoes with shaven nips but furry legs

Earner - You get the hoes with less fur but more meat

Wise Guy - You get the hoes that don't wash and wear out of style clothing

Made Man- You get the hoes that look decent enough to show to your mother but hide from your bro's

Capo - You get the hoes that don't hesitate to urinate behind a dumpster in an alley, without toiletries

Boss - You get the hoes that like to brag about their man's size, except your not that well endowed

Consig - You get the hoes that your Don had last night

Don - You get the hoes that are left over from your Godfather

Godfather - You get all the hoes

Breakdown - The Females

Civilian/Thug - You get no dick

Gangster - You get the dick that at random times smells his hand after "adjusting"

Goomba - You get the dick that experiments with fruit

Earner - You get the dick that doesn't care for fruit but will show a steak a hell of a good time

Wise Gal - You get the dick that is short in size but a little plump

Made Gal - You get the dick with no balls. Literally

Capo - You get the dick that's good looking but expects you to pay for dinner

Boss - You get the dick that is good in bed, but has that one surprise that eventually comes out, like dressing as a hoe

Consig - You get the dick that smells funny but looks like Humphrey Bogart

Don - You get the dick, and it's a good dick 

Godmother - You have dick everywhere you turn. Even as you read this there is a dick staring directly into your eyes

 "Simple knowledge ladies and gentlemen. It can't get any easier then this. Just keep in mind, this is the simple setup, almost what your guaranteed without you showing some moves and making it work. With a little practice and hard work you can always pull out that one person you can't live without. Now if your having issues with that I can lend you a hand. Men I speak to you because I can relate. Ladies, if your into your own gender, then your more then welcome to take the following advice and use it as well."

You see a beautiful lady buying fruit at the local stand, approach her carefully. Nonchalantly bump into her grabbing her attention. Instead of saying excuse me simple state, "Your excused." When she looks at you with her confused look, simply state "I am a friend of Wiggles"

When you see a lady walking down the street in front of your apartment simply say, "Excuse me miss, but your legs are fabulous." When she bashfully responds with "Why thank you," you once again simply state "I am a friend of Wiggles"

Last but not least if you happen to land someone out of your league, direct them in Wiggle's direction. Nuff said.

"Well there you have it people, another outlandish and mind baffling experience with your's truly. This is me departing back to my lodge by finally saying, "if it don't jiggle, then it ain't worth it to Wiggle." 

Fiora listens intently as she grasps her overcoat tightly, crossing her arms in the process. She perks her neck, glancing upwards into the grey sky, anticipating the ghastly weather.

"What is this spectacle?" she mutters to herself.

"The mention of hoes and the genitals of other men? Have our streets become a playground?" her voice, rising.

Fiora takes another glance at the darkening sky, shaking her head. Before letting out a sigh, she reaches for her umbrella.

"I suppose there is a reason I conduct most of my business indoors these days."

Listens to the woman express he greif

"I suppose if I referred to someone being an asshole I would be talking about rectums? I'm sorry you don't like the humor I display, but I am who I am. There are plenty of good speeches in the streets, don't let mine turn you away from them. They all are worth a listen. Diversity is a needed balance in life. From your neighbors explicit music, to a drunk streaker running 5th avenue, to the cross dresser at the pie shop all the way down to the short fouled mouth old man on the corner. It's in every day life but if it makes you uncomfortable a simple ignore followed by gossip with the friends will suffice."

Point being, to each their own. That's why ice cream comes in different flavors. Some people prefer to eat vanilla ice cream off my bare chest, other gals, chocolate.

Sexecutioner smokes a cigar because he is in the mafia and puts a fedora hat on his head which is currently wrapped in a black leather gimp mask