Top Threads:


3. "Debate" by: SirSammyRourke. (8.5/10)

Sir Sammy brings one of the most difficult questions we've ever had to the streets. Who's the Sexiest Rourke? Despite nearly 30 responses to this question, a definite answer was never determined. However, we try to answer that question later...


2. "I Hate Marietta" by: Awesome. (9/10)

What started with a small announcement of personal opinion, quickly turned into a plot on one of the Detroit HQs. After much planning, the Anti-Marietta Pro-Midget-and-Goat people launched a toilet-paper stealing raid on the Godmother's HQ. It turned out to be a hard-fought battle, because DarkKnight grannied-up the HQ. You'll have to read it to find out how it ends!


1. "The Bloody Tissue, Issue 1" by: KingOfOnePercent. (10/10)

A great community paper. Due to the fact that this is a... newspaper, no review will be listed here. Excellent work though Mr. Percent.


Terrible Threads:


3. "Marietta - An In-Depth Interview" by: RourkeyRourke. (4/10)

Judging by the title, you'd guess this to be great. A Rourke interviewing the most powerful person in the world. Well.. it turned out to be very disappointing.


2. "Awesome gets to shoot someone in the face" by: Awesome (3.5/10)

Yep. You guessed it. Awesome shoots someone in the face. However, before shooting an innocent young woman in the face, he kills her daughter by throwing her off the local dock. Awesome, you're evil.


1. "Upside Down" by: Todd_Murk. (1/10)
Todd_Murk brings quite a charge against the community. After claiming our world to be "Un-Mafia like", Todd then continued to call out back-stabbers in the community, and ended with this: "In summation, start acting like Mafiosi already. I'm disgusted." We only put this one at the top because he managed to get so much of the site involved. Oh please Todd, give us your infinite wisdom. Oh wait, all you did was whine and give us "I'm disgusted". Thanks for helping us sooo much. But we accept your apology.


Keats - Keats was a Well Protected Capo serving under Guardian. However, he lost motivation in the Mafia and tried to get out. He was killed and now his son, MacLeod, has risen up to try and fill his father's shoes.


Sammy - Sammy heard that someone tried to get into the mafia, but then took a very suspicious 7-day break with no activity. So, he went to the man's house. Upon entering, he searched for the man, and found him sleeping in his bed. As Sammy entered, he slipped and fell, firing a shot into the roof, and awaking the man. The man grabbed his pistol and shot Sammy in the chest. Sammy's body was found laying on the road, missing his wallet and gun. Everyone mourned the loss of The Silent Don. Rest In Peace sir.


Malc_The_Alc: In a sudden and unexpected move, Malc_The_Alc, a leading Capo of The Fallen Angels, retired from his life of crime. It is as of yet unknown what urged him to go legit, but it is speculated that he found no happiness as a criminal and that he felt it that his future lay elsewhere. May we wish him the very best.


Kurt_Cobain - Kurt's death was an apparent mystery for a few moments, until Marietta made this statement at his funeral: "You were not a bad man, merely made a mistake." I'm certain that each of you can understand, this is the mafia. Things like these happen. However, that doesn't make the passing of such a man easier to take. R.I.P.

Ares: First, why were the Stool Pidgeons created?


Squishy: They were originally created as a test project. The goal was to figure out the proper ratio of killers to victims in the 7 cities. If that ratio on a day to day basis should fall underneath the proper ratio, then the right amount of stool pigeons would be created to make up the gap.


Ares: So, if there weren't enough targets and such to go around, you would create stool pidgeons for people to shoot?


Squishy: Yep. I.E. let's say we think that the average killer should be able to get 1.5 kills a day, and there are 50 wackers, that would mean that there should be 75 targets to be killed that day. However, lets say only 70 are available. Then 5 stool pigeons would have been brought to life, to make it hit the proper ratio of 75 targets to 50 wackers. The next day, say there are 80 targets, then that is above the ratio, and the stool pigeons would sit idle and do nothing.


Ares: Sounds cool!


Squishy: However, we scrapped the project.


Ares: Awww... Why?


Squishy: Because there are plenty of targets to go around, each and every day, to match the required ratio, and it has been that way for a while. So there's really no need at all for it.


Ares: Thank you very much, sir!


Squishy: No problemo.

Information arose today to light up the secretive background of Awesome's life before his of crime. He has often claimed to have shot and killed his father, on Christmas day no doubt, but the reasons for this are as of yet unclear. This reporter can confirm that a statement made to MickeyRourke by Awesome at the time of the latter's induction to Relentless, that this resulted from nothing more than a game between father and son; the one shooting the other with a water pistol, the other shooting the one with a beretta.


However, there may be underlying motives behind the second shooting. It was brought to light today that relations between Awesome and his father may have been more than just paternal. In a statement made by the late JohnnyAbdul regarding Awesome's liking to shoot people in the face, it was claimed that "the last person [Awesome] shot in the face was [his] Dad ... [and that he] did this with ejaculate."


In a response to this claim, Awesome denied the accusation.


"I would like to categorically state that I have never shot my dad in the face with ejaculate, am not shooting my dad in the face with ejaculate, and will not shoot my dad in the face with ejaculate."


He also demanded that Mr.Abdul rescind his statement and that he and his children be banished from the seven cities.


Whether or not Awesome's reply was in all honesty, or a hasty attempt to defend his character and reputation, is unknown. It should be noted, though, that this reply fails to take into account that his father is dead, and provides evidence for the case that his response was a quick attempt to protect himself from defamation with little thought to the true state of affairs. If this was indeed the nature of Awesome's relationship with his father, then the shooting which ocurred on that fateful Christmas day so many years ago may have a more sinister motive behind its execution. For now, one can only speculate, but should more information arise regarding this issue, you, the readers, shall find out first here.

We've all seen it. What started with "ThomasRourke", a lone mafioso defying Gordon Bombay, quickly expanded, now boasting nearly 20 living members. However, some questions arose a midst the public about who is the best Rourke? Well, we're here to determine that for all of you! However, during our deliberations, an anonymous source informed us that RourkyRourke was taking Rourke-enhancing drugs. This would have disqualified him from the competition, however we had already decided half of the awards, so he still got some stuff.

Funniest Rourke

Although all of the Rourkes are genetically humurous, we had to give this title to...
RourkeyRourke!
Rourkey, you contninue to amaze us each and every day. Keep going strong bud.

Scariest Rourke

By "Scary" we don't mean 'horrifying', we mean 'scared to go out in public with this Rourke'.
ChuckieRourke!
Chuckie, stay away from us. Seriously.

Most-Jewish Rourke

This was an easy one. Everyone can figure this out. We really just wanted to give this guy an award.
Fu-ManJuRourke!
Nice work? You managed to out-jew the other Rourkes.

Most-Powerful Rourke

This is a very important award. It is based on: Fear Factor in the Community, Rank, BodyGuards, and all-around Power over other people.
MickeyRourke!
Has his own family, and an obscene amount of BodyGuards. He wins.

Sexiest Rourke

This is the most debated, most discussed, most annoying award we had to give out. Without further ado...
BrianRourke!
Ironic? Yeah. We just wanted to piss off Rourkey.

Rourkiest Rourke

This is what you've all been waiting for. Its time to decide the... ROURKIEST ROURKE.
ThomasRourke!
This was one of the hardest choices we had to make. However, when the drug testing came through, the Fouding Rourke, Thomas, had to be it. He was the first. He set the standard for every other Rourke. For that, we thank you.

Least Rourkiest Rourke

This person was so.. un-rourkey, that he disgraces the Rourke name.
SirSammyRourke! Wait....AND JayRourke!
This wasn't nearly as hard as the Rourkiest Rourke award. As we viewed the list of Rourkes, we noticed SirSammy and Jay shows no evidence of feelings against Gordon Bombay. They're both morons, and we wished they wouldn't disgrace the Rourke name. Jay must have been adopted. Disgusting.

Who's Marietta? I hear some of you asking this. And it is a reasonable question. Little has been heard from the mysterious Godmother of Detroit in some time. Some fear she may be gravely ill. Others that she is taking a holiday. Not a vacation. A holiday. Not all of us speak American, mkay? Anyway, it is indeed true that her voice is quiet these days. But why? None have known. Until now! Shock shock, horror horror!


A recent mole has informed us that Marietta is busy planning a 7-city wide take-over. The fact that only 4 cities are currently "active" can be ignored. Because then it seems more sinister and evil. But, yes, this is the word of the underground. And not only does she plan on wiping out every other family, but she also plans on wiping out her own! And by this, I mean not just her fellow Detroitian associates, but The Riot! itself! She will kill them in their sleep. This is true, unverified fact. We believe her means of achieving this will be by utilizing the many MAGs left in Detroit after our attempt to defeat her and leave Detroit without a Godmother. She has stolen our midgets and our goats and, after having brainwashed them through... pleasurable indoctrination... plans to set them loose once more. Mayhem and destruction will follow in their wake, I'll have you forewarned.


With this in mind, this reporter can only conclude that each and every mafioso/a in our world must unite under the AMPMAG banner and ensure her despotism comes to none-too-early end. Or we shall fall under her riotous wrath.

Ares: In your opinion, do you agree with the current 48-hour Rule? Do you find it effective?


Hayley:So the 48 hour rule. I can see why it was put in place, as a way to help new players, and keep users here. This rule has been around for as long as I can remember. We all follow it because its what we were taught. I have gone back and forth with this issue, and have a hard time choosing a side. I would say I'm more neutral on it. I am quite new user friendly, always attempting to help them out. Two days is quite a long time for them to be roaming around without a sponsor. I understand that many do not know the rules, or even to join a family. Which is where some of the older players step in, pointing them in the right direction. Now I will never encourage people to go out and start shooting these young gangsters. I believe they deserve a chance as much as anyone else. But there have been a few occasions where someone has taken a shot at them, quite unintentionally. In these instances, my thoughts are not to kill the person. They will be talked to, given a chance to learn from their mistakes. If people are abusing this, they will be punished. So its not that I want to completely abolish the 48 hour rule, more make a few slight family changes regarding it. I like to see new faces around here, and will do what I can to help them.


Acute: I feel the 48 hour rule is effective. Maybe a little *too* effective. I wouldn't say I disgree so much that I moan about it, but if I had the choice I would like to see it go back to 24 hours, definitely.


OtisDriftwood: Personally, I am ain agreement with it. Yes I do find it effective.

Ares: In your opinion, do you find "HQing" to be a good/bad part of the current CL's abilities? Do you like it?


Hayley:On to the wonderful HQ button. I think in certain circumstances it is useful. For me it is more of a last resort button, only there if I really need it. I am never quick to make a rash decision and just push it, and try to sort things out before resorting to that. You do occasionally find yourself in a place that it is your only option though.


Acute: HQ'ing I feel is a good ability, in my opinion. You sometimes get the odd bad apple that just has to be dealt with right away. If one of the Leaders in Detroit (or any city with a Godfather) were to go a bit psycho one day and decide to have a free-for-all and there was no option to HQ wack, it would lead to quite a lot of bloodshed which could easily be prevented by this little feature.


OtisDriftwood: "HQing" should be a last resort effort on the part of a CL or RH, demotion, removal of the offenders gun should be first, if that fails, then let the family hitsquad get ahold of the offender. Do I like it? only had to use it once, and it pained me to do so.