For quite some time now, Ziva had found herself, for lack of a better phrase, going through an existential crisis. Her whole life had felt like a cat and mouse game of life and death. It'd been that way for her whole line for quite some time now.

Her bloodline had lost a great many friends from this world in the previous months, some forever, some hopefully not so. She received regular postcards of family friends retired on beaches, Christmas cards of the growing families and children of friends, invitations to weddings and christenings and all kinds of indicators of their lives moving on without the involvement of the mob. Without the brief moment of wonder upon closing ones eyes at night as to whether they'd open again in the morning. About her own daughters, granddaughters, even beyond that, feeling free of an obligation to follow in her footsteps, as she had her family before her. Of them knowing something other than the ways of their world. Real jobs, houses and cars they worked hard for, graduations, living to an old age and having grandchildren running about on their lawns. She knew it was all out there. She knew that maybe she could have a taste of that. And sometimes, she even thought about leaving the keys to her HQ on Cab's desk and hopping on a plane.

The hole that the departure of so many of her friends had left had been brutal, painful, difficult to bounce back from. Some of the faces that'd come to be the most reassuring, the most trusted advisers, confidants, friends were forever wiped. And holy fuck, Ziva had found it harder than her last few ancestors to cope with.

There had been bright spots, of course. Friendships which had endured despite the best efforts of some, that'd grown stronger since the loss of so much of her own inner circle. And those had been what'd kept her going so long.

Sure, to some, admitting as a crew leader to struggling might be a sign of weakness. To Ziva, it was part of the catharsis. She knew now that she'd got her shit figured out.

She knew the enthusiasm for the life was back, the enthusiasm for the scheming and scamming, the day to day routine.. for mixing things up and making it fun. Only being able to put it down to one thing, she decided to step up on the streets and speak.

A little shyly now, stripped of the indifference and bluntness that'd plagued her of late, she begins.

So... I'm here today to do something that's maybe a little unusual for a leader. Most certainly a leader still standing - this is perhaps the reserve of those who are falling or have fallen. Well, I'll assure you all here and now. I have no intention of falling any time soon.

I'm here to say thank you.

A a crew leader, I absolutely could not be here without the support of my Godfather, my unbelievably patient and long suffering right hand, and my crew.

You all have helped bring me back into things. It'll be repaid.

I love you guys.

Not wanting to get disgustingly over-sentimental, Ziva leaves it at that.