Clearing her throat and without preamble, Ziva launches into her latest musical adventure.

If you're having VIP problems I feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but your eyes rolling ain't one.

I got the North side of CH as VIP #1
But West Side wanna think that contest's closed
My critics they say I'm a VIP whore,
I'm from North Side stupid, the Streets is home.

If you grew up with boring speeches
I can see why fun would elicit an eyeroll
But I'm like, fuck the critics, don't be an asshole,
If you don't like my songs, don't listen yo!
Got problems with my posters being up on show?
Or warnings of beaver invasions? Well SO?
Who don't miss Leroy twerkin' his ass
Shit if the Gods bring him back, they'd get more cash for ads.
I don't know what you take me as,
I guess underestimating the creativity Ziva has,
I have fun but it ain't cause I'm dumb,
I got 99 problems but rollin my eyes ain't one
ROLL EM!

99 Problems but rolling eyes ain't one,
If you're having VIP problems, I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems, you rolling your eyes ain't one.
ROLL EM!

The year is '29, your eyes must be rolled raw
Rolling them at my speeches like I'm breaking the law
I got two choices, I either start growing up, or
stand up here on the streets and take the floor,
Now, I don't give a fuck about no mapping race,
And it ain't about the tips, that ain't the case
But I still stand up here and do my stuff
And I hear "Ziva where the fuck do you get this from?"
Cause I'm a leader and I'm North Side and we lost VIP one
Do I look like a performing seal dude, I dunno
Free speech fuckers, so hang on some more
"You should be taking the streets more seriously in your position"
"Call yourself a leader, step off the soapbox"
"Are you gonna keep posting crap so North Sides #1?"
I ain't stepping down from shit, my speakings legit
"Do you mind if I look through your speeches a little bit"
Well most ain't serious and some is songs,
But last I checked, fun ain't outlawed
"Are you a total child or just some kinda idiot"
"Or completely crazy or some shit"
Well I ain't wrote a book or made an inspiring speech,
But I've done enough that what I've done is legit
"Well we'll see how smart you are when the public comes"
I got 99 problems but eye rolling ain't one
Roll em!

99 Problems but rolling eyes ain't one,

If you're having VIP problems, I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems, you rolling your eyes ain't one.

ROLL EM!

 

99 Problems but rolling eyes ain't one,
If you're having VIP problems, I feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems, you rolling your eyes ain't one.
ROLL EM!
 

Now once upon a time, not too long ago,
A leader like myself kept a straight face yo,
That ain't a straight face like we weren't any fun,
But I'm not pussy, shit like killing off Leroy'll push me!
I'm not gonna ignore, fuck Lord no,
Pray for me kids, I'm gonna sing again,
Y'know my type of craic, it's just good fun,
But offensive to someone desperate to be #1.
The only thing that happening is I'm having my fun,
Even as a captain, it's fine getting some craic in,
So here I go on the streets singing again,
Some of you all around enjoying it again,
Haters I'm sure will be eyerolling again,
I'll be chilling out laughing at them,
Cause I'm the one having fun again,
Half-a-mil in tips cause people laugh again,
All because of eye rolling yo!
Trying to play the high ground on the streets,
But ain't nothing low about creativity son,
I got 99 Problems, being a bitch... is one.

Trailing off slightly at the realization that she is, indeed, a bitch, she shrugs to herself, shoots the crowd a smile and a wink and lights a cigarette.

Frederic rolls his motherfucking eyes, before sprinting from the street as quickly as possible.