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| The Bloody Tissue, Special Edition?!?! | Started by: KingOfOnePercent on Jan 08, '09 20:42 |
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A Letter from the Editors What's this? Two issues in as many days? Surely these will shut our doubters up but sadly, knowing the average IQ of our doubters, we just can't see them piping down soon. In a first ever Bloody Tissue special edition, we will be analysing Detroit's new policy, as well as exploring the good and bad contained therein in an effort to give our readers the most unbiased and impartial insight as we can. We hope you enjoy our hard work and savour this historical moment, and we'd like to thank Ganelon for stepping aboard once more as our Celebrity-Editor-in-Chief, Love, The Editors ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fucking Hell. She is Alive. I have said this before and I will say it again. The Bloody Tissue provokes a response. Good or bad it always gets something and what a response we have got today. I am going to put this on it's own so no-one misses it. GODMOTHER MARIETTA HAS DONE SOMETHING. No, this is not THE GOSSIP QUIZ (see Issue Two) but this is in fact the truth. It's real. No bullshit. She has finally done something that may possibly be something a Godfather would do. She actually listened to her fave paper and not the one she shadow 'edits' but to us and came up with a idea of her own (read 'Is it really that new?' later on) Mind, it is a whole crock of shit really. The Detroit Death Tax. That is exactly what it's gonna be. Detroit will die. No-one will visit and it will become as dry as your nans vagina. You see. $2,000,000 may not look like a lot for a crewleader. Hell, it probably isn't UNLESS you're a small family. A small family that is without a proper Hit Squad yet and does not feel the need to have open access to Detroits sleeping few when there are 6 other cities to choose from. Look around. Practically every family out there is a small family. We have a few big ones knocking around but most are small and compact and $2 million is a lot of money. Can you see them paying it. Really? Especially when they themselves need Bodyguards and that doesn't even count the Right and Left hands. Why would they pay before they, and their hierarchy, are surrounded by 50 Bodyguards? It is also highly amusing that she is choosing to focus on killing. Why can she not do something that will promote a way to get a lot of people into Detroit? She says she is skint but she takes a cut of every petty crime you do. Every drug deal is witnessed by her and she takes a cut. If everyone goes to Detroit to do their business she will make a fortune. But no, instead she decides it would be better to sanction people. To try and wind people up. Fuck, the rumours are she is looking for a war just to prove how serious she is taking this. First person to fuck up is going down apparently. What a great way to be. Introducing something to try and antagonise people. It could have all been so rosey for her. She could have been hailed as a visionary. Instead she is seen to be stirring the pot and 'borrowing' ideas. Anyways, I am off to puppet control our Godmother again then I must travel out of town. It is important go get away from this world every now and again. Meet friends out of town and let your hair down. Some people get far too wrapped up in things. Lock, Stock and the Two Smoking Cocks. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What a Ray of Sunshine! Seriously, I'm not being sarcastic. I actually mean it this time. This afternoon the new Detroit "Death Tax" was unveiled which, despite numerous similarities to Anita's shooting tax of olde, Godmother Marietta has made her own; fucking Bravo on her I say! We are assured that there is no correlation between this new initiative and The Bloody Tissue, and that it did not come to pass as a result of the article we printed yesterday; but I am not here to discuss this convenience and bloody fortunate timing. No, for a bit of a change I am going to try and focus on the positives of this situation, though it will be difficult personally as I normally try to focus on both sides of the argument, after all, a special edition calls for special behaviour. First up, and perhaps most obviously, Godmother Marietta has done something. Frankly, anything is a welcome change from the perpetual lethargy I had long come to expect from the Motor City; and this will certainly act as a catalyst for activity, if only in the short run. In addition, we cannot ignore that if this is a catalyst for activity, surely it will be for excitement also. If memory serves, Anita imposing a similar tax untimely led to many a war, and history does have a habit of repeating itself. No doubt I will be ostracised for many (ignorant morons) for stating that war is indeed a positive repercussion of this policy; but ultimately it sates the desires of community and proves the best way of defending in your interests. Good in moderation, I feel. And of course, the un-ignorable fact is this: Godmother Marietta is starting to act like the quintessential Godmother. Only hours after her announcement, there have been murmurings of disquiet and disagreement both on the streets and in the coffee shops; but the simple truth is that Godmother Marietta is exploiting the cards in her hand as best she can, as all good criminals would seek to do. If you ask me, Godmother Marietta is finally coming out of her shell and starting to implement her own ideas, and I sincerely hope we see more in terms of originality and deliverance from Detroit in the future. The only surprise? That we haven't seen this far, far, sooner. KingofYerNan ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Old Ideas for the New Guard? We wind back to the Old World. The last reign of a Godfather. Anita was head of Philly and ran the world with a vice like grip. She could and did whatever she wanted. However, remember she came up through the ranks and was once a Don. Even then she knew her power and knew she could demand what she liked. At Don an entry tax was implemented on Philly. If you entered that city without paying her then she shot you. No messing about. It was done. This tax cost the leaders $10k for every member of their family to travel freely. This was paid for a 7 day pass. But when she hit Godfather she changed that. Why not? She got a cut of everything everyone did in the city anyway. So she decided to implement the Philly Death Tax, my that rings a bell, and began charging leaders and their members to even let off a shot in her city. They could not even deal with their own members without paying the charge. The charge was as follows: $100k at Thug and an extra $100k for every rank higher. So to pay $100k at thug is you planned on training a gun was a good investment. She went with this and it was successful. There was much bitching and moaning about it but at least she was original and did something with the rank she had been given. I would also like to point something out. While Anita was implementing these taxes she was also street active. She was always in the street. Despite accusations that she did not write her own speeches she still kept coming back for more. Not only that but she reacted to the things levelled at her and usually won the arguments. Proving the claims made against her were false and that she actually took it personally when people said she did not deserve the rank. I would like to point something else out as well.She was warred constantly. She was never left alone for more than a month and lost everyone close to her on a regular basis. Now, let's compare for a second shall we? Marietta has been sat there for the last few months. She has had no-one challenge her nor has she really lost anyone of worth and she is very rarely in the streets so what has she been doing? What makes it really weird is she had a prominent role in the newspaper 'The Tea Time' and then dumped it as soon as she reached Godfather obviously feeling the effort had been made. Not only that but she has been unopposed. She has not had a hard time of it, constantly fighting people off who wanted to take her down nor has her reign been questioned anywhere near as much as Anitas. It does make you wonder whether this tax is a knee jerk reaction to an article in this fine paper. Has she hoped that no-one would notice that this has been done before and tried to pass it off as her own? I hope not as she must really underestimate the intelligence of those on the streets and their memories.. Now, I am very lucky to know a descendant of Anitas and I had the chance to ask her a few questions. "Do you think Anita would be pleased to see this tax back?" I believe she would. Anita was a woman that saw this life of ours as a business transaction. She enjoyed every opportunity she had to make profits, because that would benefit her family.It has been a long time since we've seen true businesses being made around our streets, considering that was what Anita was all about, I think she would be very pleased and find it exciting. "Do you think it will be as much of a success as the old tax?" I can't see why it wouldn't be. They will either get a lot of cash every week, which they can use to make sure they are more protected, or they will have a lot more bums to shoot at then other families. It's a win, win situation for the mobsters of Detroit. The success of such tax only depends on strict control, and I believe GodMother Marietta will nail it. She has two good families working under her, which represents a large number base of our current world, so control should never be an issue. "How many families do you think will pay it?" That's hard to say to be honest. The bigger families would surely have no issue paying such tax. However for the families that are still slowly growing and currently have around 15-20 members, the tax could have a major impact over the family finances. In the end, is all a matter of calculating what's more beneficial to each family. There are a lot of factors to consider: numbers of hitters in the family, numbers of Ia's in Detroit in each week, even the time the IA's will turn in comparison to what times hitters of the family will be around. You cannot forget that even though Detroit is the city with most IA's, it's not the only city, there are hitters that don't even shoot in Detroit currently; so all those things must be taken into consideration. I'm pretty sure that some families or individual hitters may pay one week, when there are more IA's, and when there is less, they might not. "Can you see someone feeling that angry about the tax that they attempt to hit the Godmother of Detroit?" I don't think I would use the word angry. Will there be people that will dislike this? Obviously, after all, we are all here with the aim of growing and seeing our families get stronger. Despite that, GodMother Marietta is within her right to do with Detroit whatever she wishes, even if it has consequences to all the other families in other cities. They are either spending a lot more money to train their hitsquads, which surely is a money that before was being used on bodyguards or possible HQ upgrades, or they might end up training a lot less then they were before. So with that in mind, yes it could cause some people to be unhappy about it, however I doubt that this single tax would lead to a war. "Do you think Anita would find it amusing that she is being copied or angry?" I'm not sure if copied is the right term here, even though this was a tax that Anita implemented in her days, there are some differences. I would even say that Anita was a lot harsher with her tax, considering her own tax didn't only include Inactives, leaders couldn't even shoot their own members if they didn't pay for the tax. But either way, I believe she would find it amusing. Knowing her, she would find it even more amusing if people disliked it and cried about it. "And finally, will your family, or you yourself, pay this tax or go elsewhere?" I cannot comment on any family decisions right now. I'm sure that once my boss, FrankieFigs, returns from his afternoon meeting, we will discuss what's more appropriate for our family. And myself? Are you implying I'm a hitter sir? I've never touched a gun in my life! — A big thank you to Ire there. Some interesting answers I am sure you will agree. Now you can see why the Bloody Tissue fucking despised her. But she is right in a lot of what she says. Anita probably would appreciate this because she worked hard with her rank and would like to see other doing the same. But notice how this person feels that the points I came up with are actually relevant? Although they are put much more nicely they are still pointing towards people being angry, not paying it and it being something, although not identical, that has been done. However, I will choose to ignore it because I am a massive C and think that is going against me too much. Therefore, and I quote as Anita contacted me from the dead, "KILL MARIETTA THE COPYING BITCH, GRHS".** So, I leave you with this. Nice start Marietta but you gotta do better than that. Try something new next time eh? (**This may be total fabrication rather than Ire making any insinuations.) Lock, Stock and the Two Smoking Cocks. |
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Thomas sees the ghost of sims challenge the ghost of Anita challenge the corporeal form of Marietta to a fight A rumble for who had the best tax surely! |
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| Reply by: ThomasRourke at Jan 08, '09 20:53 | |
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That reference will be lost on everyone apart from Premeir sadly. Walks away shaking his head, it's the done thing! |
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| Reply by: KingOfOnePercent at Jan 08, '09 20:55 | |
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a) Mr King, you proved that not only Mr Prem got the reference, you did as well. b) so did I and others like me, you tiny brained limited numskullish botheaded punk! With all due respect, PLEASE dont lump us with Prem :D |
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| Reply by: Fu-ManjuRourke at Jan 08, '09 20:59 | |
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The only tax Sims implemented during his time, was an entry fee to the city of Chicago. Anita never claimed that idea to be hers. Either way, it has nothing to do with the Death tax;) |
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| Reply by: Ire at Jan 08, '09 21:16 | |
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Blinks and bursts out in laughter You guys amaze me really. Who gives a shit really if Detroit becomes void of any other families members? I certainly dont, less competition! But good attempt at bashing her again! Walks away laughing |
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| Reply by: GrandNannyRourke at Jan 08, '09 21:24 | |
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| Obviously you didn't read the article lauding her attempts. Was that out of laziness or lack of attention span? | |
| Reply by: KingOfOnePercent at Jan 08, '09 21:31 | |
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| That'd be the attention span, recently my meds have been switched around. Blame the pharmacy, they screwed up the dosage! | |
| Reply by: GrandNannyRourke at Jan 08, '09 21:34 | |
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| Correction, not The Pharmacy as in Prozac's family, the pharmacy like the place where i buy my laxatives to pass out at Halloween | |
| Reply by: GrandNannyRourke at Jan 08, '09 21:38 | |
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Bloody Tissue "Has she hoped that no-one would notice that this has been done before and tried to pass it off as her own? I hope not as she must really underestimate the intelligence of those on the streets and their memories.." Detroit Tax "After weeks upon weeks of extensive discussions with many of my advisors, as well as my associates MickeyRourke and Guardian, I have decided to announce the first ever tax for the crime trade of Detroit. By no means is it an original concept, but it is one that I find will be effective in keeping my city running as smoothly as possible." The good news is, otherworldly engagements are totally rad. The bad news is, it doesn't really help with journalistic integrity, especially if you're a wild party boy like Rourkey and hitting the town at local L.A. hot spot, Emerald Paradiso. |
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| Reply by: ThomasRourke at Jan 08, '09 22:03 | |
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BLOODY BURN!!!!! Alas, truth and honesty and the american way, and momma's apple pie and not to forget some herrning and a bissle kugel and mmmmm.. Fu wandered in to day dreams of roman food banquets.... What was I saying ?? Oh yes, truth has nothing to do with profits Fu hands the boy a dime and grabs his very own personal copy of the Bloody Tissue You know, its also good for wrapping the fish on the way home from the market! |
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| Reply by: Fu-ManjuRourke at Jan 08, '09 23:34 | |
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We provided A article that showed the good side of the Tax. We also produced a article about the bad side of the tax (from the writers viewpoint) and thank fuck for ThomasRourke who provided the ugly. Just to help you out Thomas. Do you see the question mark? Does that make it a question? I do believe so. Therefore, what is the problem. You provided a answer and I thank you for the time and effort you have put into reading this edition with a fine toothcomb. Want to become our Editor aswell? |
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| Reply by: Frijj at Jan 09, '09 02:56 | |
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Also, GrandNannyRourke. Marietta will give a shit. As has been said in this issue, every petty, felony or drug deal going down in Detroit gives Marietta a few extra dollars. She has her finger in every pie of Detroit. She is the Godmother after all. That is what goes with her rank. No people means no kickback. No kickback means less money which is exactly the reason that the tax was introduced in the first place. |
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| Reply by: Frijj at Jan 09, '09 03:06 | |
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| Frijj, I'd become editor, but I'm busy reaping the benefits of being a highly ranked Lothario with no prospects! Don't worry though man, exact quotes mean nothing in this business, you're doing fine! I think the more practice you get in this business, the better you'll become. Practice makes perfect champ, but in your case, we can settle for average. | |
| Reply by: ThomasRourke at Jan 09, '09 03:36 | |
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| Thanks man. I will do my best to improve. Remember a question mark means it is a question though. Wouldn't want you getting confused slugger. | |
| Reply by: Frijj at Jan 09, '09 03:43 | |
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Well a question would be just a question, but one has to wonder why it is even posed when the answer was given in the quote from her speech. Was she trying to pass off the idea as being the most innovative and trailblazing money-making method that's hit the Streets in recent time? Of course not, that's why she explicitly said that it was not. Hey we can speculate that I took a fine-tooth comb to this paper; the question I'd like to pose to you then since we are in the spirit of asking them is if this whole paper was dedicated to one person and one idea, then why didn't you do the same? Good night... and good luck. |
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| Reply by: ThomasRourke at Jan 09, '09 03:50 | |
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