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Lurch approaches the streets and realizes that his ability has been a success with the test run. His investment schemes have been approached by men of honor from Wise Guys up to Dons. He realizes know that with great ability and backing of vested mobsters he has a continuing criminal enterprise that must become his namesake. He posts the following up:
Lurch Laundering, LLC
Many of you are wondering. How is it possible for me to entrust you with my hard earned cash and sit back and wish upon a star that my money will be returned with interest? Well this is simple. My ancestry roots back to thieves, liars and embezzlers. We are a bloodline of master manipulators. I have taken the responsibility to not just approach these streets offering condolences to the lives lost as a result of my ancestor's mishaps but to offer a service. You see, I was blessed with this gift. I don't gamble, I profit. My hard developed system of card counting and probability has proven itself through many generations to be profitable. I have not needed to import from my off-shore accounts in order to fund my bodyguards, family, tributes or drugs. I simply use the gift I was blessed with. When you entrust money to Lurch Laundering, LLC. - you are most definitely taking a gamble! The difference is that I guarantee a 75% return up to 150%. The majority of the time - I return the full 150% but depending on what has been given to me. Odds must be at stake for you as well! Otherwise, this is free money. I encourage tips and gratuity but do not demand it. Nobody that has entrusted me up until the point of this message is on the 75% rule. They are capped into a 100% guarantee up to 150%. From this point forward, that rule is in effect. You may ask yourself... isn't he just going to lie and say he had a bad beat? Oh, I could do that.. but that's not good for business. Any investment is encouraged to be displayed and spoken of because we all know the best advertisement is word of mouth. The big plan? To get to a point where I can have "100k Days" in which a random moment I will take the locals and all active users in that district will receive $100,000 for no reason. Why? Amends. It's time for the Superbee bloodline to be redeemed. If you are looking to invest - send me the money. If I decline, it will be returned. Understand that I use a system which includes mathematics and probability and is not about big betting and luck. I don't play luck with other people's money - I do what works. If that means $20,000 - $100,000 bets over the course of a few days to yield a few million. Be patient. When you send money, you do not have to ask prior to sending. I am active enough to respond in a short period of time. I will respond with a proposed dollar amount to be gained, a worst case scenario and a time frame. At this point you must accept and it is binding or decline and receive your money back with a 2% gratuity (non-negotiable). My time is not free. Salutations & Godspeed.
If you doubt my services? Don't participate.
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