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| Big News From Little Vegas | Started by: Frijj on Jan 19, '09 19:42 |
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Hello all. I am here to announce what Las Vegas will be offering you over the coming months. Read on for great opportunities to make money, make friends and even get a new Tattoo! We are going to have competition. We have accepted that and embraced the fact. We know that others will be offering their own deals and are getting in there quick so we cannot be accused of stealing. So, read on as to why you should come to Las Vegas and leave your inhibitions at the door!. ———————————— As you have probably seen Casinos are being built all around our 7 cities. They are popping up everywhere and the glitz and the glamour will be something to behold. But unfortunately for you they do not admit people like you. It takes hard, cold cash to gain entrance to these establishments and you do not have it. DO NOT FEAR. Here in Las Vegas, we understand that. Have you spent all your money on drugs? Did you go in there with Hundreds of Thousands of Dollars and now you have a few cents? Talk to us. The Las Vegas Bank of Gamblers. We offer money loans that offer you extremely competitive rates of interest. We can also offer you loans for your general needs outside of the Casinos. Need the extra cash to train your Bodyguard? Have you overspent and need to give your boss his tribute? We offer short term and long term loans. Here, take the directions to the LVBG and get back to me. Note: This flier will only work in the city of Las Vegas. It is blank anywhere else. ———————————— Looking to make a few dollars without turning towards a loan? Have you been rejected from other casinos? Do you feel that their tables are rigged and do not offer value for money? DO NOT FEAR! Here in Las Vegas we understand that. After all, this city knows how to gamble and we will not discriminate against you so we are introducing a few little things to help you along. Reckon you have what it takes to clean us out? Reckon you can beat the house and win a fortune? Go for it! In fact, we will help you. Should you bet on 00 and win then we will double your winnings. Should you roll Cherries on the Slot machine then we will double your winnings. Should you hit a Blackjack when betting $50,000 dollars on the hand then we will double your winnings You're telling me that isn't fair? Get down to Las Vegas for the best offers around. ————————————— Do you need another reason to come to Las Vegas? WELL, I AM GIVING YOU ONE. Sick of being stuck as a lowly Gangster? Want to take that step up to Goomba and beyond? DO NOT FEAR. Las Vegas understands that. Therefore we are going to lock up all these bums who DARE to sleep in our cities and bribe the cops to lock them up and allow you to test your jail breaking skills here in our fine city. Every 2 hours (Subject to police co-operation) you shall see the jail fill in minutes and the cops go off to the local doughnut shops to fill their fat faces. We can assure you. They will soon co-operate. We have pictures of them with each others wives. (This offer will become available 24 hours after The Las Vegas casinos re-opening) ————————————— Have you been in the streets lately? Have you seen the buzz over our Bar District? How did you miss it? Well, here is a short memo about it: The LVPR DO NOT FEAR. You can be part of the Las Vegas we all love and adore. You see, we believe you should be able to socialise and meet new friends when you're here having a good time on our betting tables. You will notice that the bar district is growing into a lovely little place and YOU can be a part of it. Whether you want to take advantage of the money on offer here and start your own bar or just chill out. It is the place to be! ————————————— Moving on, do you think your current tattoo is a bit boring? Do you wish it said something about you? DO NOT FEAR. Here in Las Vegas we can help. Should you travel to our fine city and come to our casino then we are offering cut price Tattoos. No mobster looks right without a decent tattoo and all the cool kids show theirs off to the world. Our resident tattooist JB will be making you look as cool as everyone else in no time. All you need is a picture of yourself in one of our wonderful casinos and he will make you one for just $50,000. With his latest ink these things even MOVE. Yes, they move folks. It is truly splendid. He draws pretty much anything folks, believe me! My mightily fine tattoo (that has been now tattooed on every member of SaintTonyCapone's family against their will) was made by JB and I was extremely pleased with it. Take a look at his Portfolio to see exactly what he has to offer! ————————— Well, I think I have spoilt you enough now. That is what Las Vegas will have to offer when its Casinos are re-opened after their upgrade (as we obviously already have Casinos) and we can assure you, you'd be a idiot to miss it. (All ideas presented here are subject to copyright laws. The ideas are only available for use in Las Vegas. Stealing these ideas will see you labelled as a fucking retard without a brain and obviously not a worthy owner of a casino. We will report you to the appropriate authorities within our world where punishment will be considered. We reserve the right to change our terms of service at any time.) A MaCutfer Enterprise. P.S All errors are intentional. |
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Someone walks up and listens to Frijj explain the prizes I think the prizes should be a kiss from Acutie..I'm not sure how Acute would feel but she is a fox. |
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| Reply by: Someone at Jan 20, '09 02:21 | |
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| Wow hmmm now tbh this makes me want to goto LV simply because of the Double win on slots i have pretty good luck at getting those Cherry's so hmmmm i might be there soon and the Jail Break thing wow thats cool :P I like what your doing with the place :) | |
| Reply by: DeathKnight at Jan 20, '09 02:58 | |
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| hehe, lucky me im mostly in vegas so ill be gambling a lot !! =) | |
| Reply by: Dr-Satan at Jan 20, '09 03:55 | |
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Acutie struts her stuff towards Someone Your damn right i am one sexy fox, Who cares what Acute thinks? He don't own me, I own HIM. I must say i am proud to be apart of Las Vegas, And lets hope these prizes are enough to trick people to come spend there money in vegas. HEYOOO |
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| Reply by: Acutie at Jan 20, '09 08:10 | |
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| I guess I should start saving money to gamble...or can I get a nice start-up gift/loan? | |
| Reply by: Sherminator at Jan 20, '09 08:38 | |
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| Sherminator, don't do it. Step....away....from....the.....blackjack table. | |
| Reply by: SwingingBo at Jan 20, '09 08:58 | |
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Acutie Suffocates SwingingBO in her clevage Don't listen to him Shermipoo come to LV and gamble your life away ... |
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| Reply by: Acutie at Jan 20, '09 09:13 | |
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| Are we there yet? I'm hungry. I gotta pee... Are we there yet? | |
| Reply by: Diamond_Jim at Jan 21, '09 02:09 | |
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